Posted in Family, fear, friends, Grace, gratitude, heaven, life, love, loving others, Military memories, prayer, priorities, Scripture, spiritual battles, thankful, travel, Trials

My Friend Joe

Teach us to number our days carefully so that we may develop wisdom in our hearts.” Psalm 90:12

“Hi.  My name is Joe.”  A couple of years ago, my wife Judy and I took a trip down to the Florida Keys and Key Colony in particular.  The place we stayed in was called the Continental Inn.  It is a bit of old Florida with twenty or so studio condos combined with a small sand beach and a couple of tiki huts.  It is not very crowded, but this was Labor Weekend, and there were more folks there than usual.  Being a small place, it seemed more like family than just a group of people on vacation.  It was there under one of the tiki huts that I met Joe.

Joe, his wife, and her sister and husband were down for a long weekend from Juniper, Florida.  It was the other couple’s anniversary, and they were there to celebrate.  They were sitting near us on the beach, and it wasn’t long before we struck up a conservation.  Day one was more like a “Hey, good to meet you and glad you are here.”  The next day, we were back on the beach and so were they and it was then that I really got to talk with Joe.

He started by introducing himself again.  And then as his story unfolded, I was fascinated.  First, I learned that Joe was a Korean War era veteran.  While he didn’t serve actively in the war, he did volunteer for service during that difficult time.  He chose the Army and proudly served his country.  Being a Korean War veteran could only mean he was up in his years…and he was.  If I remember right, he was about to turn 84.  Thanks for your service, Joe.

Joe used a large walking stick to get around.  He told me on day two, rather matter-of-factly, that he was legally blind.  That explained the stick.  Rather than a white cane he had this large walking stick that came from the Smokey Mountains.  I asked him how much he could see, and he explained that at about five feet away I was just a blob. You can imagine my surprise when he told me how he still drove a three-wheel bike around his neighborhood.  When I asked him how, he simply said he could see some of the sidewalk and most everyone knew him and kinda stayed out of his way.  A little blindness wasn’t going to stop him.  Way to go, Joe.

About then, Joe shared with me that he had stage four prostate cancer that had gone into his bones.  Almost casually, he said, “And of course, I am on chemo.”  What was amazing was that he didn’t see his cancer as a roadblock or a big deal for that matter.  It was simply something that he dealt with—no whining, no complaining.  Nope, Joe wasn’t gonna let a little cancer stop him either.  You’re amazing, Joe.

All the time we chatted (almost like we were discussing the weather and not cancer and blindness) he was constantly smiling and explaining to me how much he loved life.  These speed bumps were just that—bumps on his highway of life.  He told me how much he loved people.  That is probably why he regularly volunteers at the Veteran’s Hospital, helping guys less fortunate than him.  Less.Fortunate.Than.Him.  I think it will be a long time before I forget Joe and his big smile, big heart, and great outlook.

There’s one more part of Joe’s story.  You see, Joe was a Jesus follower…in fact, all four in the group were.  What made Joe stand out was his gratitude for each day that God gave him.  I couldn’t help but notice that his knees and elbows were covered with bandages and wounds.  I can only guess those came from the times his blindness got in the way and his stick couldn’t save him. After our hour of conversation, I noticed that not one time did he complain about his circumstances. He shared stories of his past with gratefulness and shared his present days with the gusto of a healthy 45-year-old.  And he was confident of his future too…because he was confident in his relationship with the God who made him.

I know I talk about this verse a lot but that is because it means a lot to me.  The author, who happened to be Moses (you might remember him from the time the Red Sea parted), asked God to help us number our days so that we could have a heart of wisdom.  He was saying, “God help us to appreciate every day you give us.”  It was very obvious that Joe did exactly that.  No, I don’t think he was the richest guy on the beach that day…unless you number richness not in dollars but in joy, and happiness and love. Joe bore the scars from many a fall, but he shined with the victories of never staying down.  I didn’t get around to asking but I bet Joe knew the secret to living out his faith in God.  What is that you ask?  It’s knowing and believing three small words…He’s got this.  Bro. Dewayne

Posted in Family, fear, friends, gratitude, life, priorities, Scripture, thankful

What Do You Want?

Then Jesus answered him, “What do you want Me to do for you?” Mark 10:51

What can I do for you?  It seemed like an odd question but really it wasn’t.  The other day I was at the doctor’s office accompanied by my wife Judy.  The wait in the waiting room was very short and as always, the first stop was the stupid scale.  You can tell this is not my favorite part of any doctor visit but regardless it is part of the deal. After making me face my weight, she took us back to the screening room where she asked questions, and I gave answers. She did a great job and soon we were waiting for the doctor to come in.

The wait wasn’t too long and when he came in, I could sense he was a good guy.  This visit was to begin to hopefully write the final chapter about my pancreas and an abnormally high-test result.  He was a specialist dealing with all the various parts of the human digestive system so I was a little surprised when he asked, “Now, what can I do for you?”  See what I mean about seeming a bit odd.  You are a doctor, and I am a patient…either tell me I’m not broke or fix me. But I wasn’t perturbed by his question…in fact, I was pleased. He wanted to know how things looked and felt from my perspective and I valued that.

Well, we had a great conversation and like our nurse friend, he asked a lot of questions, and I gave him a lot of answers. After a while, he made several suggestions concerning a few more tests to make sure that things were good and, in the end, I felt like he cared and that he understood my need. And, get this, it all started with that odd question, “What can I do for you.”

There’s a story in the Bible with the same question and it might seem crazy too. A blind guy is sitting by the road, and he hears Jesus coming by. He begins to holler asking Jesus to stop and heal him. Jesus calls for him and members of the crowd lead him to the Healer and that is when Jesus asks the question, “What do you want me to do for you?” It might seem obvious since obviously the guy is blind, but Jesus wanted him to acknowledge his need. After all, he might have wanted a new walking stick or seeing eye donkey.  No, Jesus wanted the man to say it, express it—I want to see. So, the guy says exactly that, Jesus heals the guy and well, it was a pretty happy ending.

Sometimes asking the right question is important…very important. Jesus was the master of everything He did and that included asking the right question. I wonder if that is something we need to learn to do better. I wonder if it would help us help others. I am sure it would. I sometimes have the tendency to start talking when I should have continued listening. Our interactions with people—husbands, wives, kids, friends, even strangers are more important than we realize. You can bet that God is great at this. Go ahead, have a conversation, ask a question. He will surely want to know what you really need, and then He’ll let you know…He’s got this.  Bro. Dewayne

Read more from our blog: Grits with Grace – short stories with big truths

Posted in Family, forgiveness, Grace, gratitude, life, loving others, Military memories, prayer, priorities, Scripture

Blindside

So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 7:12

I was blindsided.  It was time for a haircut. Now that is a relative statement—you know like relatively speaking.  I had five brothers and only two of us are left.  All the brothers had hair—lots of hair. No receding hairlines, no clogged drains in the shower, no nothing but lots of hair.  And then there is me.  While my daddy had a receding hairline he never lost his hair.  Well, that was them and that was him but it sure isn’t me.  It started with a receding hairline, then it became a thinning receding hairline and then it became a full blown retreat.  I now have a really, long forehead.  I don’t know if it is still in full retreat or if we are holding our own.  The jury is still out. So, I’m trying to say that a haircut for me is a relative statement. I am grateful that getting a haircut still doesn’t mean getting a solitary hair cut, but I do remember the days when there were more than a few.

Now, I keep my hair short for two reasons.  First, I have grayish white hair and I found it doesn’t look quite as white if I keep it shorter.  Second, and I can only guess, it is a carryover from my days with my Daddy and in the military.  For the first 18 years of my life my Daddy made sure I kept my hair short (even though it was the late sixties and early seventies).  After him, it was twelve years in the Air Force, and they made sure it was short. Well, after 30 years of short hair I figured, why change now?  So, the bottom line is about once a month I go see my hair cutter person.  Even after a month, my hair is sparse and less than an inch long.

So, I was in the chair and she was clipping and buzzing along.  She has cut my hair for the last 15 or so years so she knows the landscape pretty well.  Well, she said, “Dewayne did you hit your head or something?”  I assured her I hadn’t, but she was sure something had happened.  Well, my wife Judy had gotten me a pair of virtual reality goggles for Christmas.  I had used them the night before and the straps fitted pretty tightly around my head, so I assured her that was what she was seeing.  Then she said, “Well, let me show you.”

Before I knew it, there was a mirror in my hand, and she turned me around so I was looking in the mirror.  I could see something I had never seen—the back of my head.  Oh.My.Goodness.  You see, I naturally assumed that my…oh, how I hate to use the word…baldness stopped on top of my head.  I also assumed that I had the mane of Samson in the back.  I was wrong.  There in the mirror I got to see what everyone else saw all the time.  While it wasn’t totally hairless let’s just saw it was pretty thin.  You might say it was wavy—you know, the hairs there had plenty of space to wave at one another.

Well, I gasped and bless her heart, she did her best to assure me it wasn’t that bad—the average person looking wouldn’t even notice.  She said you would have to look real close to see it.  She was so nice, but I had the strangest feeling she was not telling the whole truth.  And in that moment I realized that my days of teasing people with a halo at the back of their head were probably over.  I had reached a new level of membership in the hair club—or perhaps more appropriately, the “no hair club.” What struck me as funny was I had no idea.  I really was blindsided.  I couldn’t see what any other person walking behind me could see.  To make matters worse, let’s just say that I’m not the tallest guy in the neighborhood. That means everyone taller than me, which is probably 90% of the adult population, had a great view of my impending hair doom.

Well, that started the wheels turning in my mind.  I wondered just how many other things are there about me that I am totally blind to?  How many times did my impatience at the grocery store show?  How many times did my glaring eyes betray my true feeling when some nice “little, old lady” pulled out in traffic in front of me?  How many times was my sarcasm not as veiled as I thought?  Oh my!

So, I think I might have learned something valuable at the hair cutting place that day.  It wasn’t that I should get a hand mirror so I can see the back of my head.  No, it was the fact that I should, we should, be aware that people are always deserving of our courtesy, our kindness, our compassion.  If we are Jesus people, especially if we are Jesus people, we should make a conscious decision to be authentically nice. The golden rule, which is found in the Bible, says “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.” Truth is it is not always easy to be kind, but it is always right.  And when it seems especially hard, don’t panic.  God is good at being kind so you can rest assured that He will help you. After all, “He’s got this.”