commitment – Grits with Grace

communication, Family, friends, Grace, gratitude, heaven, life, love, loving others, Military memories, prayer, Scripture, thankful, Trials, USA, Veteran's Day

A Penny and the Nickel

Posted on November 11, 2024November 9, 2024 by Dewayne Taylor

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13

This story has become my annual story for Veteran’s Day but even more so this year. A couple of weeks ago I went to visit the graves of two of my brothers. Both were veterans buried in the Pensacola Naval Air Station national cemetery. That was a wonderful day, and it spoke deeply into my heart.

A couple of years ago my wife Judy and I visited the national battlefield at Dover, Tennessee. I was so impressed. Fort Donelson National Battlefield is a Civil War battle site sandwiched between the Cumberland and Tennessee Rivers. The South had built two forts there to control those two rivers. It was a major supply line for the South. Many of the original earthworks are still there. You can imagine the Union and Southern soldiers huddling down, rising only to fire at one another.

One spot on the tour showed where the big Southern guns were mounted. In fact, many of them were still there. There were three on one side and seven on the other. The guns could hurl a 30-pound shell over a mile and were some of the deadliest weapons of the war. At that spot, an American Bald Eagle was perched in a large oak tree right on the bluff. It was as if he was watching over the sacredness of this hallowed ground. Men—both Union and Southern, had shed their blood on these grounds. One side was dying to preserve the Union and the other dying to tear it apart. After more than a few minutes, the eagle took his leave and so did we.

The car tour then took us out of the park and down the road a mile or so. There we found more earthworks, more cannons, and more ground stained with blood. Leaving there we headed down the road to the National Cemetery established after the battle. The Union soldiers won the day, but the cost was high on both sides. Judy and I parked the car and walked around the cemetery. There were hundreds of graves…all men who had fought for the Union. Sadly, the Confederate dead were dumped into mass graves and covered over. They remain that way today.

At the cemetery, there were many graves from the Civil War era but since it is still an active military cemetery, warriors from virtually all the wars are buried there. Judy and I saw graves from World War I, World War 2, Korea, Vietnam, and the Gulf Wars. We even saw one grave from what was called the Second Seminole War or the Florida War. Row upon row of graves, some older ones with only a last name and their assigned unit, lay silently giving testimony to their last full measure of devotion to their country. There was one more thing.

We noticed that lying on top of many of the headstones there were coins. They were mostly pennies with a sprinkling of silver coins also. I didn’t know what they meant but I had an idea, and I was right. There is a tradition that honors men and women who served their country. You mainly see it in national cemeteries but also at others scattered throughout our Land. When you see a penny on top of the headstone of a veteran, it means that someone stopped and reflected on the soldier’s life and service. It is a form of remembrance. And, when a family member returns to the grave, they have the assurance that someone remembered and honored their loved one’s sacrifice and service.

If there was a silver coin, and back in the old days a nickel, in particular, it meant the person who stopped by had a special relationship with the fallen soldier. They may have gone through basic training together or were assigned to the same unit. There has always been a special bond between men and women who fought together… and perhaps died together. It is a bond that lives on beyond death and those silver coins honored that bond.

The Bible is full of renowned, well-known, verses but one that stands out is where Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” That is what those silver coins were saying. It was a silent testimony of loyalty to one another. This band of brothers was willing to die for the other…and many did. What an amazing story of love and commitment.

Today we honor the men and women of our great country who served or are actively serving in its armed forces. For 248 years brave soldiers have put their lives on the line. As the saying goes, “All who served gave some, but some gave all.” We should be incredibly grateful for both. As you journey through life today and you recognize a man or woman who was or is a member of the armed forces, take the time to thank them for their service. The freedoms we enjoy came at great cost whether it was the ultimate sacrifice or the daily sacrifice of hardship or separation from family. Be sure and let them know you appreciate it. It is just the right thing to do. Oh, and don’t forget to thank the One who provides the ultimate freedom…Jesus Christ. Because of Him, we can rest…because of Him, we can have the peace of knowing…He’s got this. Bro. Dewayne

birthday, Christmas, Family, friends, gratitude, life, love, priorities, Scripture, Southern born, thankful, Trials

Keep What You Treasure

Posted on March 15, 2023March 13, 2023 by Dewayne Taylor

You don’t love me or each other as you did at first! Look how far you have fallen! Turn back to me and do the works you did at first.” Revelation 2:4-5

I was so excited…until I wasn’t. Every new, store-bought toy was cause for big excitement at 6008 Carlton Road. Like I’ve said before there were plenty of things laying around that a kid like me could turn into a toy. Sticks became guns and China berries became bullets. In my eight-year-old world, a trip into the woods was as good as a trip to Africa. But let’s be honest. Nothing could quite beat a store-bought toy.

New toys usually showed up two times a year. First, of course, was Christmas. I would anxiously wait for the wish books to show up in the mail so I could start wishing. Sometimes there were trips to the department stores downtown to window shop the trains and planes that were there on display. I remember letters to Santa, and to Momma and Daddy just in case he wasn’t available. I would state my case and then wait for the big morning and though we never got everything we want—what we got was more than enough.

The other time that store bought toys came to 6008 was on our birthdays. As I wrote those words, I am still amazed at how good my parents were to us…willing to do whatever it took to give us a Merry Christmas and a Happy Birthday. I remember too that a lot of years there was a birthday party in the plans and that multiplied the gifts and the memories. It was just all good. In the days that followed Christmas and January 6 (my birthday and the original Christmas Day before some Pope changed it) I would play and play with those new toys…until I didn’t.

There always came a time when I got too rough and it broke, or I got bored as the newness wore off, or I just moved on to something else…but it always happened. The thing I thought I couldn’t live without became a discarded memory. One of my favorite Christmas toys was a Daisy double-barrel BB gun. I loved that gun and if I had taken care of it, today it would be very valuable. Well, I didn’t. I learned at my brother’s funeral that apparently his son and my nephew claimed it after I had discarded it. Where it went from there is anybody’s guess.

The truth is we are a fickle bunch. We soon enough grow tired of whatever is our current fancy and before long what was yesterday’s treasure is today’s trash. Rarely do we care for things the way we should. While it is true of toys, unfortunately, it is also true of the more important things in life. We give our word about something but find it only lasts while it is convenient. We make vows to love someone “till death do us part” and too often rewrite the deal to read, “till I change my mind.” We build our character and then trade it to save face. We often sell the truth so we can buy a lie for the same reason—convenience or pride.

It is amazing how quick we grow tired of the toys, people, and values in our life. We say we value this or that but as soon as this or that becomes difficult or inconvenient, well, what once mattered suddenly doesn’t anymore. So, what should we do? Good question. I believe the root of the answer lies in remembering. Someone once said before you quit you need to remember why you started in the first place. That’s good. And before we discard, something or someone, we need to remember what caused us to make the commitment in the first place.

In the book of the Revelation, near the end of the Bible, Jesus spoke and said this, “You don’t love me or each other as you did at first! Look how far you have fallen! Turn back to me and do the works you did at first.” Those are powerful words…words that we should pay attention to. If we do, perhaps, we will be slower to throw away, to walk away, or run away from the things that matter…what we used to value. The really good news is that the God who created us never, ever grows tired of us. We are as precious to Him as the first day we met Him. He loves us so much and wants to help us. In other words, as always, “He’s got this.” Bro. Dewayne

Family, forgiveness, friends, Grace, gratitude, life, love, loving others, Scripture, thankful, travel, Trials

Night and Day

Posted on July 26, 2022July 23, 2022 by Dewayne Taylor

Hi Grits Family! Hey, my wife Judy and I are going to be “out of pocket” aka “not available” to write for the next couple of weeks. During that time, we decided to send out some of our past stories. I hope you enjoy the ones we selected and look forward to some “fresh Grits” in a couple of weeks. God bless. Bro. Dewayne

Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts. For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

One man’s way of packing is another woman’s dump, stuff and close. Judy and I have been married for 46 years. In case you are wondering that is 552 months (give or take a few days) and 16,831 sunrises and sunsets. It has been an incredible journey that has been marked by a few bumps and a whole lot of good times. You might ask, “So what’s the secret?” Well, I am sure there are several. We both are Jesus followers though she is a lot better at it than I am. We are both committed to our marriage—she would kill me if I even thought of leaving. And, honesty, she is a really, classy lady. With that being said, I can tell you one reason that didn’t make the list. We are alike.

Nope, ain’t gonna happen, you gotta be kidding me.” In fact, we are pretty “unalike” in several ways. She is definitely more optimistic. In fact, she is so optimistic that for her it’s not a matter of the glass being half-full or empty—she doesn’t even need a glass. Me, well, not so much. I need to analyze and rationalize. Judy thrives around people. Put her a room of strangers and she is a like a pinball game going from person to person—sharing, chatting, and laughing. Me, well, I head to the nearest wall and lean. If I can find one person to talk with—I’m good.

On the other side of the coin, I am organized. Go to my office, either at home or work, and you will find a neat and tidy desk. A place for everything and everything it is place. Go into Judy’s office and you might have a difficult time finding the desk. I am generally a focused person. If there is a task to do, I sit down and get it done. If the house is on fire, that will have to wait until I am done. Judy would probably not notice the house was on fire and if she did notice, she would immediately begin visiting with the firemen.

Now you probably need to know that Judy suggested this story. We are leaving for vacation soon. Can someone say “YAY”? That foray will cause us to have to pack our luggage. Now given what you know, here’s how it will go. I will take my suitcase, lay everything out on the bed, carefully fold and sort each item, and then assign them a specific place in the luggage. I will overpack because you never know what you might need. When I get done the suitcase will look like a clothing file cabinet—neatly packed.

Judy, on the other hand, has a different technique. She, too, will place her luggage either on the bed or floor. She too will probably overpack because you never know what you will need, however, that’s where the similarity ends. She will then proceed to dump her clothes, shoes, etc., in the bag, on the bag, and anywhere near the bag. Then she will begin to heap and pile the clothes in the hopes that the thing will close when she is done. It’s a fifty-fifty chance. She may call in reinforcements (me) if needed but that is always a last resort.

Like I said, in many ways we are not alike. But, with that said, that is not a weakness, it is a strength. Where I am weak, she is strong and vice versa. We have learned (and are still learning) that the power of a team lies in loving, sharing, working together and yes, forgiving. Oh, and I also have learned the power of two incredibly powerful words, “Yes, dear.” No, that would be “I’m sorry.” In Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 it says, “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts. For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up.” You can take that to the bank.

There’s one more thing that is quite interesting. In our 16,831 days of marriage, we have shared 14,615 of those as a team working together in vocational ministry. I am certain that without Judy, and all the ways we are different, we would not have seen all the amazing things God has done. It is a story of love, grace, loyalty, and friendship. Now before you gag yourself and throw up, know that we definitely don’t always get it right. But there is one thing you can take it to the bank. The Bible says that we are fearful and wonderfully [and let me add differently] made. Someone once said if you and your spouse are alike then one of you isn’t necessary. Hmmm.

So, there you go. I hope today’s big truth, that it is more than ok to be different, will strengthen your resolve and commitment in your marriage. But I think it works at work, at church, and even with your neighbors. And when the frustration begins to build, like the next time he or she doesn’t pack the way you do, remember this—hang tight because both of you will get to the same place in the end. And if it gets really hard—just go and sit with your Dearest Father and rest. He’ll whisper some things like “let it go—it doesn’t matter how they pack it just matters that you keep traveling together.” And you will say, “Oh yeah…that’s right.” And He will remind you once again that, it’s ok because…He’s got this. Bro. Dewayne