Tag: communication

Posted in Family, friends, Grace, gratitude, life, sovereignty of God, thankful, travel, Trials

Nothing But the Truth…the Whole Truth

Posted on by Dewayne Taylor

By His divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life.” 2 Peter 1:3

It was a cute little sign…if only it had told the whole story.  It all happened when I was in North Carolina and my wife Judy was back in Illinois.  If she had been with me this probably wouldn’t have happened.  I was at a conference and the schedule gives time off Tuesday afternoon just to relax or whatever. I decided to drive up to Mount Mitchell which is the highest point east of the Mississippi River.  It was only about thirty miles and best of all most of it was on the Blue Ridge Parkway.  Because of the elevation, there was some beautiful color on some of the trees.

Judy and I had made this drive the previous year but on that particular day everything was “socked” in.  There were heavy clouds, a misty fog, a strong wind and it was quite chilly.  This year, the skies were blue, and the sun was shining bright.  While there was a wind, and it was still chilly…it made for a perfect day to see what God had been up to.  There’s an area called Craggy Rock and there is an observation place and a welcome center.  Well, before I got to that, I saw a sign that said Craggy Rock Picnic Area.  It looked interesting so I turned left.

When I got to the top and to the parking area I happened to see a sign.  I walked over and it said, “trail to welcome center.” It also gave the distance which was a mere eight tenths of a mile.  The round trip was just 1.6 miles and I do two miles a day regularly, so this wasn’t even a challenge.  I slipped on my boots, grabbed my walking stick and headed to the trail.  To get started there were about ten steps.  Well, this is where all the trouble started.  While the sign said where you were going and it even told you how far, it failed to mention the fact that it was all, and I do mean ALL, uphill.

Now there is uphill and there is UPHILL, and this one was exactly that.  In short order I was huffing and puffing like an old steam engine.  Now keep in mind I walk fast regularly.  None of that made a lick of difference.  This trail was a monster…a preacher killer if there ever was one.  Well, I finally made it to a shelter where I could sit down and try to catch my breath.  A couple of people showed up and I asked if they knew CPR and they quickly moved on…I was on my own.

Before I could stand, two more people came, and they were from Singapore. They spoke limited English, but they did assure me that the welcome center was somewhere ahead…about 500 meters he said.  So, I followed them and suddenly realized we were now going downhill about as steep as I had been going uphill.  I asked one more time how much farther it was to the welcome center, and he pointed down, way down in the valley.  It then occurred to me we had not parked in the same place.  My car was at the picnic area and his was at the welcome center.  He was almost back, and I was still heading away from my car.  I made a decision…a wise decision…a lifesaving decision.

I told them I was turning around, and they smiled and eventually, I made it back to the car.  I wanted to tell the little sign what I thought but figured it wouldn’t matter.  After all he had told the truth…just not the whole truth or the whole story.  Exhausted, it felt great to pull off my boots and get into the car. Soaked with sweat…I knew I was done. Maybe.

I went ahead and drove up to the top of Mount Mitchell, elevation 6,638 feet. When I got there, there was another little sign.  It said it was only 300 yards to the observation deck. I said, “Anyone can do 300 yards.” Well, off I went.  You know what, I am a slow learner.  Yup, it was only 300 yards…straight up.  At the top, huffing and puffing, I looked around and then headed down.  I had had my fill of “mountain goating” and it was time for this preacher to go take a nap. And I did.

The point of this story is simple.  Before you take a hike make sure the signs are telling you the truth.  And before you take a hike down the path of life, make sure the signs along the way are giving you all the information you need. If not, you might end up huffing and puffing and looking for someone who knows CPR.  May I make a suggestion?  Before up go, read the life hiking book, the Bible.  It is all true, and it gives you everything you need to succeed in your journey.  I didn’t see a ranger that day, but I can promise you there will be One as you hike the trails of life.  Some call Him God, some call Him Father, but I still like knowing He is my Dearest Daddy. And no matter what, He’s got this. Bro. Dewayne

Posted in Family, fear, forgiveness, life, prayer, priorities, Scripture, sovereignty of God, thankful, Trials

Three Days, Day 2

Posted on by Dewayne Taylor

 The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down; for the Lord upholds him with His hand.” Psalm 37:23-24

 I never saw it coming. Day one of “Three Days” was so awesome you would think that the day following a trophy day would be at least somewhat awesome, right?  Let me tell you that is not always the case.  If you read, “Three Days, Day One” you know that my day job is being a pastor and one day recently, I and the church, had a “trophy Sunday.”  Now I need to be honest and let you know that not every Sunday qualifies as a “trophy Sunday.”  In fact, some of them can be pretty difficult but that’s not a deal because it is just the way life goes.  “Less than days” have nothing to do with where you work or what you do—it has to do with life.  Like I said in day one, when you have a really good day, put it on your trophy shelf so you can easily find it when you need a reminder that you are blessed.

Well, you know that Mondays always follow Sundays.  It is no accident that Mondays get a bad rap.  It just seems that if you are going to have a challenging day, Mondays get the call and in my case, that is exactly what happened.  So after the trophy day at church that Sunday, I bounded (slight overstatement there) out of bed about 4:10 am, ready to embrace the day.  Because it was Thanksgiving Week and because my wife Judy and I were taking a trip down south to see family, I only had two days in the office that week.  I expected and needed some productive time.  There were several things that just had to get done before I left but I was confident that I could get it done.  So, like a horse in the starting gate, I raced to the office…early.

When I got to the office, for fortification, I made a cup of coffee and then hit the spacebar on my computer and immediately noticed that it was a little slow to wake up. “Hmmm,” I said, wondering what was up with that. It did eventually start responding but things were just not right.  One of the things I had to get done was to update the electronic sign for our church.  To do that my Apple computer needed to talk to the sign which— speaks Windows—think EngIish and German. I have a program on my computer that is supposed to act like a translator but it was on strike. From there things just went downhill.  Not only was the Apple computer not speaking to the Windows sign, everything, and I mean everything,  just came to a standstill.  No matter what I did, no matter how many times I restarted the computer, nothing helped. I watched the clock as my precious day slipped away through my idle hands.

Now, I believe in God.  I believe that God directs my day and my path.  One of my favorite verses in the Bible says, “The steps of a good man (good as in God’s goodness) are directed by the Lord and it is He who directs His path.”  I know it and I believe it though my faith that particular day was sagging.  In fact, I left the office that day feeling just a little put off with God.  I mean didn’t He know I had to get this stuff done?  Didn’t He know I only had a little time to get a lot done?  Well, I finally just blurted out to Him, “God why are you doing this to me.” I was frustrated and maybe, just maybe a little angry…if not at God at least the circumstances.  Looking back, I realized that I was having a little case of “spiritual amnesia.”

Spiritual Amnesia?  Yup…it’s a real deal and I really had it.  You see, I had forgotten the “trophy Sunday” and even forgot to revisit it to remind me of God being a good God.  I had forgotten that I believe that God directs and plans my day…meaning He had planned that day as an exercise of faith and trust…in Him.  I forgot it all and that was not fair to Him, my wife, Judy, who bore some of the brunt of my frustration and anybody else who happened to be close enough to feel and hear my frustration that day.  Are you getting the picture that Monday was not a “trophy day?” Ever had a day like that?  Trust me, I get it and I understand and so does our Dearest Daddy.

Well, that night, I sat down at my home computer and worked and watched how that same God that I had grumbled about multiplied my time and efforts and much of what I needed to get done, got done in just a couple of hours.  It was then that my “spiritual amnesia” fog began to clear.  It was then that I remembered that God doesn’t do things to people…He does things for people.  You see that non-trophy day was about learning—-I was in “God school” and He was teaching me things like faith, trust and patience.  I also remembered the rest of that favorite verse.  It says that even if I should stumble and fall, I will not, can not, be completely cast down because He, God, will pick me up.  I may fall in a mud puddle of frustration but He loves me too much to leave me there.

So the day ended better than it started.  I went to bed that night with a feeling that no matter what tomorrow held, I would do what I could do and just leave the rest to Him.  I got out of bed, had my coffee and had a little talk with Him and He whispered to me that He would be with me that day and that no matter what He would not abandon me.  I knew that somehow the third day of “Three Days” was going to be ok and that what I write each day is indeed true, “He’s got this.” Brother Dewayne

Posted in Family, forgiveness, friends, Grace, life, loving others, Scripture, Trials

Steel Gladiators

Posted on by Dewayne Taylor

Hi Grits Family! Hey, my wife Judy and I are going toImage be “out of pocket” aka “not available” to write for the next couple of weeks.  During that time, we decided to send out some of our past stories.  I hope you enjoy the ones we selected and look forward to some “fresh Grits” in a couple of weeks. God bless.  Bro. Dewayne

Finishing is better than starting. Patience is better than pride.” Ecclesiastes 7:8

We were opposite each other—two fire breathing chariots just waiting.  Well, that isn’t exactly how it happened but maybe it was.  My wife Judy and I were returning from a trip to Kentucky where grits and a southern draw are standard issue.  We were back in our town of Harrisburg and were going to swing by the church to check a couple of things for an event that evening.  We were giving away some food boxes and wanted to make sure we were set to go.  To get there we had to cross a busy intersection.  I pulled up and that’s when I saw him sitting there.  He was anxiously waiting for a break in the steady stream of cars.  Even from that distance I could see his darting eyes as his sweaty palms gripped his steering wheel.

I pulled up on the opposite side of the road headed in the opposite direction. We were two men, to gladiators of automobiles, about to pass side by side. I knew he was there first, so he had the right a way…that was never in debate.  I also knew there would be only a quick window to cross the road.  There was no blinker on my opponent’s car—we would pass quickly like two ships in the night.  I knew, too, that there was a chance that he would not follow the rules.  Blinker or not, he might turn across my lane. Try as I might, I couldn’t read his mind or his intentions.

Suddenly there was a break in the traffic, my left foot moved from my brake to my accelerator, and I was sure the same was happening in the car opposite me.  Like I said…two ships in the night…side by side in opposite directions. No deal. No challenge. And, then, yes, it happened.

Instead of going straight as his no blinker indicated he cut across in front of me and turned.  I had fallen for the oldest trick in the book.  It was the old “I’m really going to turn but I’m not going to tell you” trick!  Well, I quickly hit my brakes as he quickly turned in from of my chariot.  I confess. I gave him the two hands in the air, “Dude, what are you doing?” gesture and he responded with the two hands in the air, “Dude, I had the right of way” gesture. It was all over in a moment of time.  Two gladiators of steel on two totally different wave lengths of communication that left both of us wondering. First, him wondering why I was upset when he clearly had the right of way and second, me wondering why he didn’t let me know he was going to turn in front of me. Hey…blinker equals turn. No blinker equals no turn. Dude.

Are you confused by now?  Are you wondering what this is all about? Does any of it really matter? Probably the answer to all three of those questions is, wait for it, no.  But it does show how easily it is to miscommunicate our intentions and it also shows just how easy it is for moments of waiting to escalate to moments of tension.  And, amazingly, it doesn’t have to involve two gladiators of steel waiting at an intersection. It can easily be the one you are married to, or the ones you gave birth to, or the ones that you work with or, my favorite, the ones you sit next to in worship at church.

But the answer is always the same.  Keep your foot on the brake till you know clearly what the other person’s intention is.  Just wait, be patient, and most likely you will come out looking a little bit more like Jesus and the more gallant in the exchange. The writer of Ecclesiastes says, “Finishing is better than starting. Patience is better than pride.” Hmmm…that’s good. We usually have more time than we think, and we all know the pleasure of letting someone go first. They smile and think, “What a nice person.”  And most times, that beats beating someone across an intersection, or to a place in line or to a parking spot.

Ok, you gladiators of steel, all right you Walmart line cutters, it’s time to keep our foot on the brake and our hearts in our chest.  Let’s determine that nothing is more important than for a Jesus follower to act like Jesus—at the intersection, in the line, at home or at church.  Feeling challenged about now?  I know, me too, that’s why it is so important to remember, “He’s got this.” So, ladies and gentlemen…start your engines. Bro. Dewayne

Posted in Family, forgiveness, Grace, gratitude, life, love, loving others, Scripture, Trials

Conversations

Posted on by Dewayne Taylor

Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.” Colossians 4:6 

It was just a little misunderstanding. The story is told of a pastor who visited a man in the hospital.  As he stood by the bed, the man began to be in deep distress. Unable to speak, he quickly wrote the pastor a note, handed it to him and then just died. In all the confusion of the moment, the pastor slid the note into his pocket and forgot about it. Several days later the pastor was conducting the memorial service for the man. The pastor was describing the man…his life, his good heart, and his service for others. Then it happened. 

The pastor suddenly remembered that he had the note in his suit pocket.  He told the audience, “I have just remembered the day Joe died, I was visiting him in the hospital, and he slipped me a note right before he passed away. I failed to read it and have just now remembered it is in my pocket. How special it would be if we can share his last thoughts together now. So, the pastor reached into his pocket, pulled out the note and read, “You’re standing on my oxygen hose.” Smile. 

As a pastor you can bet, I have some crazy stories and a lot of them revolve around little misunderstandings and lack of communication. Recently I told the story of how I was visiting one of our members in the hospital and she was quite ill. When I make a visit, I naturally slip into my “let me help you feel better mode.” For me there are two great fix-all’s—humor and food. But sometimes, many times, a person just needs compassion and kindness. This was one of those times. 

I walked into the hospital room, and she was lying in the bed softly moaning. I moved over by the bed and whispered her name. She opened her eyes, slightly smiled, and said, “Pastor, thank you for coming by.” We shared for just a few minutes, and it was obvious she was extremely sick. And then she said, “I just want to go home.”  I softly said, “I know.” And she said it again and then another time. Each time I responded with some simple words of understanding. After the third time I upped my game. I said, “I know you want to go home and when God is ready, He will take you.” 

Well, imagine my surprise, and embarrassment, when she said, “NOT that home, pastor, my home.”  Oh…oops. I was ready to ship her off to heaven and she was just wanting to go back to her house. Like I said, sometimes there is just a lack of understanding and communication. When that happens, we need to admit that we missed it and if necessary, ask for a little grace or give a little grace. I quickly apologized for the misunderstanding, she did get better and indeed went to her home. We even had the chance to laugh about it later. 

In the world we find ourselves these days there are multiple opportunities for misunderstandings. When we find ourselves in too close of quarters for too long, when we have differing opinions about everything from the corona virus to what is wrong with our country—misunderstandings are bound to happen. In the regular world the normal response would be to get mad and often get even. In the regular world the normal response would be more anger and more division. But for Jesus followers that is just not an option. 

The Bible tells us over and again that if we follow Jesus we are to act like Jesus. We often get that when it comes to moral responses—and rightfully so. But we too often miss the biggest application—how we respond when we bump into other people…or they bump into us. Paul, one of the major writers in the Bible says, “Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.”  I like that. Gracious and attractive. Momma used to say, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything.  I wonder if Momma knew Paul? 

Well, the bottom line is there will always be plenty of opportunities to bump into people.  There will always be plenty of opportunities to respond in a “not so Jesus way.”  But what if we hit the pause button before we speak and ask ourselves, “Is this gracious or attractive? Is this nice?” I wonder how things would change. In these days, the world needs “Jesus lights.” It needs us to shine for Him even when we get a little tired and a little weary. We need to recognize when we are set up for regretful words. Let’s choose option “B.”  Let’s rest in Him and choose to think before we speak. After all, He’s got this.    Bro. Dewayne