Posted in Family, friends, Grace, gratitude, life, loving others, prayer, Scripture, thankful, Trials

#Friends

Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts. For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

There were times when having a sister was not a bad thing. So, I am the baby of eight kids.  Daddy and Momma, probably unintentionally, grouped the kids.  There were three older boys, then a girl and a boy, and finally two more girls and me—the object of my parent’s delight—the perfect child. Ok, that is not even close to true but after all, it is my story. Growing up there was not a brother too close to my age, so I was kinda a solo act and too often the object of my sister’s merciless teasing and testing. More often than not…we were at odds.  And, of course, they would run to Momma and tell her how bad I was.  But she knew better…oh yes, she knew better.

Now with all that said, there were times when having a sister was not a bad thing.  When they became teenagers a few years before me, sometimes I got to tag along on dates. Since their boyfriends had their driver’s license, it meant…freedom!   Yup, even sisters have advantages. Another of those advantages involved manual labor. You see when I was a kid, one of my responsibilities was to mow the yard.  While our yard was good sized, we also had a couple of acres that was just a big open field.  Every once in a while, that field had to be mowed.  Riding mower?  You’ve got to be kidding.

At one time or another, I do remember we had two push mowers.  They were nothing special—in fact they were anything but.  They were usually lawnmower corpses that my Daddy had resurrected using spare parts.  I particularly remember one that didn’t have an off position on the throttle.  The only way to turn it off was to pull off the plug wire.  It was this mower that taught me the value of doing something carefully because if you didn’t remove the wire very carefully…well, let’s just say it was a shocking experience!

Well, I’m not whining (no, really) but that was a lot of weeds to mow.  So, every once in a while, I would talk one of my sisters into helping and sometimes they would even volunteer.  I mean you know how girls…even sisters…are about their figures and what I saw as work they saw as a weight loss plan.  Anyway, I would lead with mower number 1 and my sister would follow with mower number 2.  It sure helped–both physically and psychologically.  Just knowing I wasn’t all alone was really encouraging.  Well, I remember the time I was mowing my little heart out thinking my sister was right behind me with mower number 2.  Around and around I went…never looking back…believing that she was still there.

Well, the bottom line is I went and went and then I happened to look back only to realize that she had quit, and I was all alone.  Instantly the task seemed impossible and the field bigger than ever and I wanted to quit too.  The difference:  I was alone.  At that moment I realized that even though I didn’t always like my sister…I needed her. We may have fussed and fought but when it came to mowing, she was my helper–my partner.

Well, the point is this…we really do need each other…especially in our life journeys, our spiritual journeys, our day-to-day bump into stuff journeys.  Having someone we can talk with, someone we can share our burdens with, someone who will pray with us and for us, someone who is slow to judge and quick to love is just invaluable.  Someone said, “No man is an island” and that is just the truth. I’m learning that you don’t have to always agree with someone to love that someone…or even like that someone.

Even as a person who values alone time—I know there is value in walking side by side with others. In the Old Testament part of the Bible, Ecclesiastes 4:9–10, one of the smartest guys ever to live said, “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts. For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up.” Well, let me just tell you, I know that is true when you are nine or ten and mowing two acres and it is true today and every day.  There is no better best friend than the One who wants to be your Dearest Daddy.  He will never leave you alone…never quit.  You can trust that, “He’s got this.” Bro. Dewayne

Posted in Family, forgiveness, friends, Grace, gratitude, life, love, loving others, Scripture, thankful, travel, Trials

Night and Day

Hi Grits Family! Hey, my wife Judy and I are going to be “out of pocket” aka “not available” to write for the next couple of weeks.  During that time, we decided to send out some of our past stories.  I hope you enjoy the ones we selected and look forward to some “fresh Grits” in a couple of weeks. God bless.  Bro. Dewayne

Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts. For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

One man’s way of packing is another woman’s dump, stuff and close.  Judy and I have been married for 46 years.  In case you are wondering that is 552 months (give or take a few days) and 16,831 sunrises and sunsets.  It has been an incredible journey that has been marked by a few bumps and a whole lot of good times.  You might ask, “So what’s the secret?”  Well, I am sure there are several.  We both are Jesus followers though she is a lot better at it than I am.  We are both committed to our marriage—she would kill me if I even thought of leaving.  And, honesty, she is a really, classy lady. With that being said, I can tell you one reason that didn’t make the list.  We are alike.

Nope, ain’t gonna happen, you gotta be kidding me.”  In fact, we are pretty “unalike” in several ways.  She is definitely more optimistic.  In fact, she is so optimistic that for her it’s not a matter of the glass being half-full or empty—she doesn’t even need a glass.  Me, well, not so much.  I need to analyze and rationalize.  Judy thrives around people.  Put her a room of strangers and she is a like a pinball game going from person to person—sharing, chatting, and laughing.  Me, well, I head to the nearest wall and lean.  If I can find one person to talk with—I’m good.

On the other side of the coin, I am organized.  Go to my office, either at home or work, and you will find a neat and tidy desk.  A place for everything and everything it is place.  Go into Judy’s office and you might have a difficult time finding the desk.  I am generally a focused person.  If there is a task to do, I sit down and get it done.  If the house is on fire, that will have to wait until I am done.  Judy would probably not notice the house was on fire and if she did notice, she would immediately begin visiting with the firemen.

Now you probably need to know that Judy suggested this story.  We are leaving for vacation soon. Can someone say “YAY”? That foray will cause us to have to pack our luggage.  Now given what you know, here’s how it will go.  I will take my suitcase, lay everything out on the bed, carefully fold and sort each item, and then assign them a specific place in the luggage.  I will overpack because you never know what you might need.  When I get done the suitcase will look like a clothing file cabinet—neatly packed.

Judy, on the other hand, has a different technique.  She, too, will place her luggage either on the bed or floor. She too will probably overpack because you never know what you will need, however, that’s where the similarity ends.  She will then proceed to dump her clothes, shoes, etc., in the bag, on the bag, and anywhere near the bag.  Then she will begin to heap and pile the clothes in the hopes that the thing will close when she is done.  It’s a fifty-fifty chance.  She may call in reinforcements (me) if needed but that is always a last resort.

Like I said, in many ways we are not alike.  But, with that said, that is not a weakness, it is a strength. Where I am weak, she is strong and vice versa.  We have learned (and are still learning) that the power of a team lies in loving, sharing, working together and yes, forgiving.  Oh, and I also have learned the power of two incredibly powerful words, “Yes, dear.”  No, that would be “I’m sorry.” In Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 it says, “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts. For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up.” You can take that to the bank.

There’s one more thing that is quite interesting. In our 16,831 days of marriage, we have shared 14,615 of those as a team working together in vocational ministry.  I am certain that without Judy, and all the ways we are different, we would not have seen all the amazing things God has done.  It is a story of love, grace, loyalty, and friendship.  Now before you gag yourself and throw up, know that we definitely don’t always get it right.  But there is one thing you can take it to the bank.  The Bible says that we are fearful and wonderfully [and let me add differently] made.  Someone once said if you and your spouse are alike then one of you isn’t necessary.  Hmmm.

So, there you go.  I hope today’s big truth, that it is more than ok to be different, will strengthen your resolve and commitment in your marriage. But I think it works at work, at church, and even with your neighbors.  And when the frustration begins to build, like the next time he or she doesn’t pack the way you do, remember this—hang tight because both of you will get to the same place in the end.  And if it gets really hard—just go and sit with your Dearest Father and rest.  He’ll whisper some things like “let it go—it doesn’t matter how they pack it just matters that you keep traveling together.” And you will say, “Oh yeah…that’s right.”  And He will remind you once again that, it’s ok because…He’s got this. Bro. Dewayne

Posted in Family, friends, Grace, gratitude, life, love, Scripture, thankful, Trials

Walking Together

Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts. For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

“Love Will Keep Us Together.”  It is one of our songs from the 70’s and it has been a way of living for us.  We sleep in the same bedroom in the same bed.  We eat our meals together.  We go out and eat together.  We watch television…mostly together.  We travel together…doing vacations…together.  We are a together kind of couple.  The old saying goes, “the family that prays together, stays together” and I do believe there is truth in that statement. A nationally known speaker said that 80 percent of couples who pray together stay together.  Interesting…if nothing else.

Well, this week my wife Judy and I carried this together thing to a new level.  Tuesday of this week, after a week of being ill with traveler’s disease (there’s a Grits story on that), I began feeling a little puny.  As the day went on, I felt worse.  Of all days, it was Judy’s birthday, and she had a lunch party with several of her friends so we didn’t see each other till after I got home from work.  So, I walked in, and she was sitting at her desk. I think I spoke first and said I just wasn’t feeling good, and she responded with, “I don’t feel good either.”  We decided to postpone our birthday dinner plans and sat around each progressively feeling worse.

Being a COVID veteran, I had my suspicions but didn’t say much but the night and the next morning said it all.  We both tossed and turned, got hot and then cold, had headaches (her’s was mega) and body aches. I got up first and felt just miserable and then Judy came in.  Now Judy is one of those folks who rarely gets sick and rarely complains.  She came into my office and simply said, “I feel terrible. We need to go the doctor.”  Well, she took a home COVID test and it was a clear positive.  The long and short of it all, we both had COVID, and it was one more thing we did together.

I told her I was grateful she was sick with me.  Let me explain. First, because I didn’t have to walk this alone and, second, I knew she could identify with how I felt.  Her body hurt like mine.  When I had COVID over year ago she was sympathetic but this time she empathic.  What is the difference?  Think of it this way.  If a person on the shore sees a person struggling in water and throws them a life preserver…they are sympathetic. But when that same person jumps into the water and struggles with that person…they are empathetic.

Over the last forty-six years of marriage (we celebrate that on June 26th) we have had plenty to celebrate but it occurred to me that we sometimes miss reasons to “tip our glass.”  This might be one of those.  We walked the COVID valley together, caring for one another, helping one another.  We walked the dark road each shining light on the other’s path.  That is love and frankly, that is a little Jesus too. It probably is a great example of Proverbs 4:9-10, “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts. 10. For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up.” It’s true in life, it’s true in marriage and it is true in COVID.

So, there you go.  It is wonderful to have a wife and a friend like Judy to walk with me, but did you know there is something even better?  You see my Dearest Daddy in heaven walks with me too.  Honestly, I felt so bad I couldn’t even think about praying but that is ok because the Bible teaches that the God’s Holy Spirit was praying on my behalf.  And, the Bible also says that Jesus is constantly interceding for us too.  Talk about a prayer team.  That might be why I just know that if I listened, I would hear the sweet whisperer whispering, “Don’t worry, son, We’ve got this!” Bro. Dewayne

Posted in Family, friends, Grace, gratitude, life, love, loving others, Scripture, Southern born, thankful, Trials

#friends

Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts. For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

There were times when having a sister was not a bad thing. So, I am the baby of eight kids.  Daddy and Momma, probably unintentionally, grouped the kids.  There were three older boys, then a girl and a boy, and finally two more girls and me—the object of my parent’s delight—the perfect child. Ok, that is not even close to true but after all, it is my story. Growing up there was not a brother too close to my age, so I was kinda a solo act and too often the object of my sister’s merciless teasing and testing. More often than not…we were at odds.  And, of course, they would run to Momma and tell her how bad I was.  But she knew better…oh yes, she knew better.

Now with all that said, there were times when having a sister was not a bad thing.  When they became teenagers a few years before me, sometimes I got to tag along on dates. Since their boyfriends had their driver’s license, it meant…freedom!   Yup, even sisters have advantages. Another of those advantages involved manual labor. You see when I was a kid, one of my responsibilities was to mow the yard.  While our yard was good sized, we also had a couple of acres that was just a big open field.  Every once in a while, that field had to be mowed.  Riding mower?  You’ve got to be kidding.

At one time or another, I do remember we had two push mowers.  They were nothing special—in fact they were anything but.  They were usually lawnmower corpuses that my Daddy had resurrected using spare parts.  I particularly remember one that didn’t have an off position on the throttle.  The only way to turn it off was to pull off the plug wire.  It was this mower that taught me the value of doing something carefully because if you didn’t remove the wire very carefully…well, let’s just say it was a shocking experience!

Well, I’m not whining (no, really) but that was a lot of weeds to mow.  So, every once in a while, I would talk one of my sisters into helping and sometimes they would even volunteer.  I mean you know how girls…even sisters…are about their figures and what I saw as work they saw as a weight loss plan.  Anyway, I would lead with mower number 1 and my sister would follow with mower number 2.  It sure helped–both physically and psychologically.  Just knowing I wasn’t all alone was really encouraging.  Well, I remember the time I was mowing my little heart out thinking my sister was right behind me with mower number 2.  Around and around, I went…never looking back…believing that she was still there.

Well, the bottom line is I went and went till I happened to look back only to realize that she had quit, and I was all alone.  Instantly the task seemed impossible and the field bigger than ever and I wanted to quit too.  The difference:  I was alone.  At that moment I realized that even though I didn’t always like my sister…I needed her. We may have fussed and fought but when it came to mowing, she was my helper–my partner.

Well, the point is this:  we really do need each other…especially in our life journeys, our spiritual journeys, our day-to-day bump into stuff journeys.  Having someone we can talk with, someone we can share our burdens with, someone who will pray with us and for us, someone who is slow to judge and quick to love is just invaluable.  Someone said, “No man is an island” and that is just the truth. I’m learning that you don’t have to always agree with someone to love that someone…or even like that someone.

Even as a person who values alone time—I know there is value in walking side by side. In the Old Testament part of the Bible, Ecclesiastes 4:9–10, one of the smartest guys ever to live said, “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts. For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up.” Well, let me just tell you, I know that is true when you are nine or ten and mowing two acres and it is true today and every day.  There is no better best friend than the One who wants to be your Dearest Daddy.  He will never leave you alone…never quit.  You can trust that “He’s got this.” Bro. Dewayne