pain – Grits with Grace

Grace, gratitude, life, prayer, Scripture, sovereignty of God, thankful

Prayer–Healing and Grace

Posted on April 10, 2025April 3, 2025 by Dewayne Taylor

“Three different times I begged the Lord to take [the pain] away. Each time He said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:8

I woke up and it was there. “It” was a more than subtle discomfort in my right hip. I found that I could still function but it kinda was a pain in the rear…pun definitely intended. In the past, I found this might happened when I would sit too long in my church office crafting and building messages. Sometimes hours would pass before I realized I needed to stand and walk around. Too often my sciatic nerve, the largest and longest nerve in our body, would get aggravated and when it did it let me know it. In those cases it would last a couple of days and then we would declare peace. That was then. This time…it didn’t.

Well, the bottom line is it got worse and worse and finally it was time to see the doctor. On the Friday before we left to visit sick relatives in Georgia, we talked and he suggested increasing my ibuprofen and doing some stretching exercises. I did both and left for Georgia. Well, it continued to got worse and worse. Before long each step…e.a.c.h. s.t.e.p…resulted in some of the worse pain I can remember. I was pretty sad, pretty unhappy and pretty despondent. So, I finally decided I should pray.

I was set to preach on Sunday and I wasn’t too sure I could. So, I talked to God. I told Him I was certain that He could heal me. That was plan one. Plan two involved asking Him to give me the grace to endure and trust Him…it’s what Paul did in 2 Corinthians 12. So we walked on…limped on…waiting and trying to trust. Fast forward to Saturday afternoon. Just about then the pain began to slack up. It didn’t disappear but it was so much less I could walk without limping. I knew right away that God had heard my prayer and was in the process of healing my leg and giving me grace. He gave me a combo answer…some plan one and some plan two.

Well, there is much more to the story but since I am limited to about 500 words or so we will leave it there. What you need to know is I was simply overwhelmed with God’s goodness and faithfulness. And, in some crazy way, I was able to begin to thank Him for the experience of pain. Why? How? Well, because of all of this I experienced His kindness to answer my prayer—to heal and to extend grace. Without the pain of it all…I would have missed that blessing. How about that?

I want to leave you with two thoughts. First, never, ever forget the goodness and kindness of God. You see, the fact is God has never stopped being good…we just stopped being grateful. His goodness is everywhere…we just need to be sure and find it and see it. Remember, God doesn’t just do good—He is good. He is good when there is pain and when there is not.

The second thing I want to leave with you is a quote from our old friend, Charles Spurgeon. He said, “I have learned to kiss the wave that throws me against the Rock of Ages.” Now that is good. We know we have traveled a long way down the road of faith when we can honestly thank Him for the good things He sends our way—and for the difficult things too. We learn far more in the hard times than in the good times. We learn the way of trust and faith and we learn that no matter what, “He’s got this.” Bro. Dewayne

birthday, Easter, food, life, pride, priorities, Scripture, Trials

Igor

Posted on January 3, 2025December 26, 2024 by Dewayne Taylor

“For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.” James 1:3

His name was Jason…I called him Igor. It was a long time ago and it was one of those times when it was time to do something. The high humidity in my closet had once again shrunk most of my clothes. It is just one of the hazards of living in Southern Illinois between the Mississippi and Ohio Rivers. While it is always the worst in summer, somehow, it manages to shrink my clothes right after the holidays too. So, rather than go out and buy new duds, I just try and lose a few pounds.

One Sunday morning at church I mentioned to a good friend of mine that I was going to try and shed a few pounds. Well, he said to me, “Dewayne, I’ve got a personal trainer at the gym and how about if I arrange for you to see him three times a week. By Easter, you will be a new man.” I had never seen, much less had, a personal trainer, so it sounded like a good idea to me. Maybe he could speed up the weight loss so I could get back to my bad eating habits…that I greatly enjoyed.

For my birthday, Judy and I drove over to Evansville on a mission to get me a couple of sets of gym clothes. We got to Sears, and they had what used to be called running suits on sale. That’s what they used to call them. Now they call them obsolete. Anyway, I bought one. It had the pants and the jacket, and I looked like, well, a dude. I was to start working out with Jason, the trainer, on Monday. I put on my fancy running outfit and drove over to the gym. I opened the door and instantly realized that I was way overdressed. Remember the joke about the guy being told that he was going to a costume party, so he dressed up and nobody else did? Well, I was that guy. Bummer.

I soon met Jason and he kinda explained what we would be doing over the next few months. He explained that he was going to make my body hurt…a lot. Well, he didn’t actually say that but that was the reality. After our first workout on the first day I could barely walk to my car. The next morning, I wasn’t sure I was going to live. Fortunately, I was meeting with Jason every other day, so I had a day to decide if I was going to live or not. By the end of the week, I had changed Jason’s name to Igor because I was sure he got some sort of sick pleasure out of watching me suffer. And I did suffer…a lot.

Over our time together, we did lots of fun things, but my absolute favorite was squat thrusts. It was some kind of deal when you squatted down and then kicked your legs out the back. Then you returned to the squat position before standing back up. I’ve obviously never had a baby, so I have no idea what labor pains feel like. But I do know this. If leg squats are even 20% like a labor pain, then if the repopulation of the world depended on me it would be a very small world. Total population: One.

Well, I don’t remember making it to Easter. Things did get toned up a bit, but I wouldn’t exactly say I was a new man. I did get a new perspective on these guys and ladies who go to the gym and apply self-inflicted Igor-ism. That is the self-infliction of Igor like pain on themselves. You’ve got to admire them—but as for me that would be from outside the torture chamber—uh, I mean gym.

Now there is one thing I need to make sure is clear. Igor, I mean Jason, had my best interest in mind. He was trying to help me reach my goals and help me be in better physical condition. It just wasn’t a pleasant experience…at least not on the front end anyway. But do you know what? Rarely are the things that really matter. I know the Bible teaches me that trials are not easy, and they are never fun, but they are profitable because they teach me endurance. That’s what James, Jesus’ little half-brother, meant when he said that when our faith is tested, our endurance has a chance to grow. Going through the hard stuff strengths our faith. And, trust me, that is a good thing.

Shortly after I quit going to be with Igor at the gym, I ran into him at one of the stores in town. When I ran into him, I wanted to run from him. But we chatted and he asked how I was doing. I said fine. He said he missed seeing me at the gym, and I made some kind of flimsy excuse, like I had a rare terminal African disease. I don’t think he bought it. So, we parted our ways. I was grateful for his help, but I was also grateful that my gym days were over. I’ve just got to be sure I don’t give up on my real personal trainer—Jesus. Like Jason knew what was best to help me physically, He knows what is best for me spiritually. He encourages me, always has my best interests at heart, and never makes a wrong call. He allows me to pace myself and allows me to rest when I need it. He’s the best life trainer of all. And I know this for certain. If I falter or fail, He will always be there because, He’s got this. Bro. Dewayne

forgiveness, Grace, Scripture

The Scars Remain

Posted on December 13, 2024December 7, 2024 by Dewayne Taylor

“Fear not; you will no longer live in shame. Don’t be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you. You will no longer remember the shame of your youth and the sorrows of widowhood.” Isaiah 54:4

Gnarled trees stood twisted and broken along the road. Several years ago, Judy and I had to make a trip to Florida to participate in my aunt’s funeral. She was my Daddy’s baby sister and the last of that generation. It was a long trip but worth the journey. I saw it as a way to honor my father while also honoring my aunt. Like every person her life had its ups and downs and bumps and bruises. And like every person there were a few scars left along the road.

It was while traveling West in Florida that I began seeing the gnarled trees. Mile after mile of trees that were either broken in two, forever bent over or simply lifeless, like dead men standing. I knew the area had been brushed by a recent storm or two, but this damage was caused by something far worse—and not so recently. Suddenly it occurred to me. I had seen this before about two years ago. It was the result of a storm, a terrible storm called Michael.

If you remember in 2018 a compact yet incredibly powerful storm came ashore at Mexico Beach, a small town on the Florida panhandle. It was so devastating that it literally destroyed that small town and the path of the storm with its destruction moved well inland. That is where we saw the scars. When we were here a couple of months after the storm for miles and miles inland there was debris piled everywhere along the highway. What wasn’t broken off or blown over, looked like it had been given a perm—twisted and turned. That was years ago.

The scars of that harsh and horrible day remain today and will remain for many years to come. Only time is going to slowly erase the damage as trees regrow and underbrush hides what has fallen. It looked devastating two years ago when I saw it and remains so today. Sometimes the scars are almost as bad as the wounds. Sometimes the memories are worse than what caused the pain.

Many of us have caused scars and most of us bear them. Some are still healing while others, like the gnarled trees, will remain. We are left to wonder what to do…how to heal. The answer I believe lies with Creator God. It is He who can give us the strength to forgive, and it is He who can lead us down the path to healing. Like a good recipe, it will include a measure of grace, a measure of mercy, and a measure of choice. Forgiveness is never about the one who caused the scar rather it is about the one who was hurt. When we forgive, we truly begin to heal.

Forgiveness also involves forgetting…but not the kind you are thinking. This forgetting simply means that we choose to not allow the past to control our present. We choose to let go, so we can be set free. When we determine that the past won’t reach into our present…we find a freedom. While the scar will remain, slowly but surely the pain eases and we are eventually left whole.

This, of course, is a faith path. We must believe that God can and will heal us. We must believe that God can forgive us if we were the one who caused the scar. We have to believe either way that His grace is sufficient, and do you know what? It is. The scars I saw that day along the highway spoke of a devastating storm, but it also spoke of hope. You see, at the base of the gnarled trees stood dozens and dozens of new growth trees. One day, someday in the future, they will rise to overcome the past with its scars. That is our hope.

As I stood before those gathered at my aunt’s funeral there was a mention of mistakes and regrets. I also spoke of forgiveness and grace which was and is a game changer. No matter how difficult your past and no matter how uncertain your future, His grace will see you through. I hope you will keep trusting Him day by day. I hope you will look up for hope, look around to see that you aren’t by yourself and look down, yes down, but only to see the new life surrounding you. Hey, you can trust Him, you can rest in Him because no matter how hard the wind blows or how long it howls…He’s got this. Bro. Dewayne

Family, fear, life, Trials

Ambush – Out of the Darkness

Posted on July 2, 2024July 1, 2024 by Dewayne Taylor

Give no opportunity to the devil.” Ephesians 4:27

He was there…hiding in the relative darkness. The other day my conscience got the best of me. I was sitting on the patio…watching the bird’s flitter and flutter around eating the bird seed I so generously provided for them. It was just about then that I remember it had been a while since I filled the feeders and figured it was about time to do the deed. So, I got up and walked over to the feeder in the backyard.

Now this is no ordinary feeder. This is one of those super-duper feeders that are designed to keep the squirrels from eating the bird food…and this one works. It is a rare day indeed when a squirrel gets my expensive as gold black oil sunflower seeds. To fill the hopper, you must lift it away from the housing. It is not too difficult, but it can be a bit…drumroll…dangerous. On my last attempt to fill the feeder when I removed the hopper a wasp flew out. I figured he was trying to build a nest up and inside but since I am a live and let live guy…I let him go. He didn’t mess with me, so I didn’t mess with him. That was then but this was now.

As I reached up to remove the hopper…before it moved an inch…a wasp flew out from the top of the feeder and popped me on the hand. Out of pure reflex, the hopper went to the ground and what seed was left, left the hopper. It was a “shoot that thing” ouch and then about six of his buddies flew out of the feeder. It turns out he had gathered reinforcements and I…ran. Well, the hopper was on the ground, the seed was on the ground, and I was just about mad. I carefully took a peek and discovered there was a pretty good nest up in the feeder…they had been very busy. They may have won the battle, but the war was mine.

My wife Judy keeps a can of wasp spray in the door of her car just in case some dude tries to mess with her. I went to the car, got the spray, walked back to the nest and let ‘em have it. It was all over in about three seconds. And when the dust settled all the wasps were…dead. Revenge was so sweet…but I wasn’t done. I took the feeder down, scraped the nest off and laughed with glee as it fell to the driveway. I laughed a little more as I stomped it to pieces. Don’t mess with Mr. T or you will probably pay the price.

In case you are wondering I didn’t and don’t feel any remorse. They got what they deserved. Just ask my right hand…which still hurts. And the big truth is not about bird feeders, wasps or sunflower seed. The big truth is to remember that there are often things hiding in the dark…thinks like wasps and things like Satan. The wasp was just waiting for some dude like me to come along and when I did…bam…he got me. I didn’t know he was there and didn’t know he was coming until he had done his deed.

Now listen, Satan is much more dangerous than a wasp and he is just as tricky…or more so. He often lies away just waiting to pop some innocent (or no so innocent) bystander. And trust me the consequences of falling prey to him are much worse than a wasp bite. So be wise…play it safe. Be sure and invite the Heavenly Father along to fill your feeders or whatever else you do. Regardless, it is always good to have Him along…He’s got this. Bro. Dewayne

Family, forgiveness, friends, Grace, life, loving others, prayer, Scripture, Trials

Not a Good Night

Posted on May 20, 2024May 19, 2024 by Dewayne Taylor

Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18

There is pain and then there is pain. We know that some people can be a pain in the neck…or worse. We also know about different levels of pain. There is the pain a woman must bear to bring a new life into the world. There is the pain that a person endures when they have a kidney stone. There is the pain of being hit by a semi-truck going sixty-five miles an hour. And then there is the pain I experienced one night.

My wife Judy and I go to bed at different times, but we are usually within a few minutes of each other. So, it is not uncommon for one or the other to walk into a dark room. It’s not a big deal, really, because we have a light in the hallway that casts a little light into the dark room. And perhaps that is the reason we do it. “It” is we put a small pillow or some other something in the doorway to keep the door from closing all the way. It is more a habit than anything though in the summer it ensures good air circulation. And that night, it was a setup for a painful good night.

Judy was in bed and the room was dark. Uncharacteristically, the door was closed all the way so when I entered the room I couldn’t see very well. I knew she was still awake, so I asked her, “Where’s the pillow?” It was understood I wasn’t talking about the one for our heads but the one for the door. I believe she responded, “I don’t know.” Well, I looked in the dimly lit one side of the room and could see it wasn’t there. So, I began to walk over to the dark side of the room and that, dear friends, is when it happened.

As I walked over, in the dark, to look for the pillow that should have been in the doorway, I hit…no, I sledgehammered, my shin and foot into the end of the bed frame. Let me explain. Our bed frame is designed so you can attach a footboard if you want to. Well, a long time ago we wanted to and then one day we removed it because we didn’t want to. That left the bracket just sitting there waiting to cause pain. Part of the bracket got my foot and part of it got my shin. And when flesh collided with iron…it hurt, and it hurt bad.

I’ve never had a baby, but I have had several kidney stones. I’ve never been slammed by a semi-truck going sixty-five, but I am almost certain that none of that hurt as badly as my shin and foot did. I hollered…maybe even screamed! I hollered, well, I’ve already said that, and then I blamed…not me, not the iron frame but poor Judy. My pain filled logic was it had to be her fault because she didn’t put the pillow in the door. Well, I did find the stinking pillow and I did put it in the stinking door. And I did one more thing.

As my shin and foot throbbed, as Judy apologized for what clearly wasn’t her fault and as she prayed for God to take the pain away…I realized I needed to apologize…and I did. It was all fine in a few minutes as we drifted off to sleep…gratefully not mad. Well, the next morning I looked at the wounds again and there were two gashes and one bruise. Ouch. Did I mention a semi-truck doing sixty-five miles an hour or having a baby? Judy stuck her head in my home office a little later and I showed her the bruise and apologized one more time for good measure…and I meant it.

This unfortunate encounter caused me to realize that we must be careful about pain. You see, whether it is emotional or physical, when we are filled with pain we can say or do things we later regret. Someone said that hurt people hurt people. I know that is mostly speaking of emotional pain and scars, but it is also true when our foot and shin are sledgehammered into the bed frame. In addition to fixing or removing the problem, we need to plan, to practice how we are going to respond when pain walks into the room—or when we walk into pain. We need to plan, or practice hitting the pause button or yanking on the emergency brake of our words. If we do maybe we will stop before we let our hurt—hurt others.

Solomon, one of the wisest men to ever live, wrote in Proverbs, “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Those are certainly wise words from a very wise man, but it is encouraging to know that even he didn’t always get it right. And guess what? Despite our best efforts, we won’t either. But the good news is that when we don’t there is a graceful God who’s just waiting to forgive us and help us. So, the next time you run into pain, hang on–He’s got this. Bro. Dewayne

Family, fear, food, friends, Grace, gratitude, heaven, life, loving others, Scripture, thankful, Trials

Root Canal Joy

Posted on August 7, 2023August 5, 2023 by Dewayne Taylor

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” John 14:27

He looked at her and said, “Root canal.” Before God took him to heaven, my dentist was my friend. For 22 years he took care of my family. He was a good man and a man of integrity. But with all that said, one day, he uttered the words that sends fear into every rational, sane person. Root canal. It all started on a Thursday. We were out of town and my wife Judy was munching on some pork rinds. For those not familiar with this example of fine southern cuisine, it is fried pork skin. Yes, I know and understand. Well, she finished her snack and put the bag away. Just about then it happened.

Without warning and really for no apparent reason unless you count the pork rinds, one of her teeth broke in half. We both couldn’t believe it but apparently this tooth was one she had had filled a long, long time ago and over time the filling had deteriorated, weakening the tooth. Now, hang on. From the get-go this thing was a God thing…you just had to look a little closer. We called our friend the dentist and made an appointment for when we got back in town. But here is the amazing part. She had absolutely no pain. The rule book says if you break a tooth, you hurt but God blessed and for the entire weekend, she had no pain whatsoever. Thank you, Lord.

Well, we got back into town, and she went to see our friend the dentist on Tuesday morning. At first it looked like a standard put a cap on it thing but then he took a closer look and realized that there was a pretty good chance that the repair would abscess and if it did…well, it wouldn’t be pretty. And that is when our friend the dentist said the words, “root canal.” Judy had had one of those when she was about ten and it was not a good experience. Root canals rank up there with being drawn and quartered. My friend the dentist used to always tease me when I went to get my teeth cleaned. He would smile and ask, “Need a root canal today?”

Anyway, his office referred us to a place in Paducah, Kentucky and believe it or not they had an opening that very day. Obviously, someone had chickened out. We made the appointment and then made our way to Paducah. She got there and of course was just a little apprehensive, but the bottom line is this…in an hour they were done. She said, “Dewayne, it was easier than getting a filling.” Well, she was amazed, I was amazed, and it was just about that very moment that we figured out it was just another love note from our Dearest Daddy.

I know what you are thinking. The words love note, and root canal can’t go in the same sentence but indeed then can and did. When you combine a good God and a good dentist like my friend…well, we almost shouldn’t be surprised. But the truth is this whole deal was incredibly different from what it could have been from start to finish. I mean no one prays for a root canal, in fact, no one would dare want a root canal, but this is just a good example of God saying, “You are going to have to walk this path, but I want you to know I am here to walk with you.” And He did.

The “root canals” of life can be far more difficult than this experience and honestly not all of life’s difficulties go as smoothly as this. But here’s the deal. This one will serve as a gentle remind for Judy and me that God is good, God is faithful, and God can be trusted. His faithfulness is not dependent on the outcome or the circumstances. His faithfulness is defined by His presence, and He is always there, always watching and always caring.

So, as you journey, maybe munching on a bag of pork rinds or maybe not and you hit a bump, try and make your first response to be looking, sensing His presence. Try not to panic but rather try to rest in His peace. Remember what He said, “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” In other words, regardless of how the story ends, His gentle whisper remains the same, “I’ve got this.” Bro. Dewayne

Family, friends, Grace, gratitude, life, love, prayer, Scripture, sovereignty of God, thankful, travel, Trials

No-See-Um

Posted on July 25, 2023July 24, 2023 by Dewayne Taylor

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Hebrews 13:8

I slapped my arm but didn’t see a thing. About thirty years ago we were visiting the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. It was a beautiful area, and it was almost like being in another part of the world. There were rich woodlands, new foods to enjoy and the crystal-clear water of Lake Michigan. It reminded me of some of the places I have visited in Europe. With all its wonders there was one thing that I didn’t like…no-see-ums.

Most of us are familiar with the various biting pests we find flying and crawling around. There is the bomber-size horsefly. You can usually hear them coming…even before you see them coming and their bite is horrendous. Then there is the yellow fly and that pesky one that hovers around when you are sitting on the patio. They seem particularly innocent and that’s when they get you. And the king of biting insects is, of course, the mosquito. Some people wonder why God created the mosquito. I think it is one of the great mysteries of the universe.

While not too common around here, the no-see-um that I encountered in Michigan was a flat-out, no doubt about it, pain in the neck—or else wherever those chose it bite you. They are very small…in fact…smaller than a flea. Because of that you will feel the bite and go to swat at the culprit but see nothing to hit. They are a neutral color and manage to just “blend in.” Their bite is painful and can take hours or even days before a welt shows up on your skin. Well, since I don’t make too many trips to the Upper Peninsula, it wasn’t too big a deal…until I found out they like South Florida.

When my wife Judy and I checked into the place we were staying in Fort Myers one of the first things we did was go and sit on the balcony that overlooked Estero Bay. It was beautiful. From our fourth-floor vantage point, we could see for miles and saw dolphins, manatees, fish, birds and even an alligator. However, it wasn’t what we saw that soon grabbed our attention…it’s what we didn’t. Soon, too soon, we were slapping and scratching but not seeing. We soon realized that no-see-ums love South Florida as much as they loved the Upper Peninsula.

Well, we retreated inside until we could find something that would discourage them from making us lunch. A day later we were eating at a local restaurant and there on the table was “No-See-Um” spray. It was all natural and Judy tried some and thankfully it worked. Not all but most of the misery caused by these almost invisible, blood sucking, stinking, pain-in-the-neck (you can tell I’m a little bitter) insects was finally over. And, for the ones who managed to escape the spray, I learned to spot them and eliminate them. And yes, there was pleasure in revenge.

No-see-um bites are painful and adding to the pain is the fact that you don’t see it coming. I mean a horsefly is big enough to spot and sounds like a small helicopter coming in for a landing. Even a pesky mosquito buzzes if it’s close to your ear. But the no-see-um is a sneaky one at best. And do you know what? Some of the most irritating and painful things in life are too. How many times have you been just having the best day and some circumstance comes along and changes everything? The truth is it happens too often. But there is good news.

While we sometimes can’t change our circumstances and sometimes all the wisdom in the world won’t change an outcome, there is hope. And that hope is found in a relationship with a God who will not leave us or forsake us and is wiser, bigger, and stronger than anything we will face. I know you hear that from me a lot but there is a reason…I believe it. I’ve been a Jesus follower for several decades and while there have been plenty of pesky and painful things along the way—He has been faithful—even when I wasn’t. I love what the writer of Hebrews said in the Bible, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Period. Big or small, visible or not, there’s just comfort in knowing that no matter what, “He’s got this.” Bro. Dewayne

Family, fear, forgiveness, friends, Grace, gratitude, life, loving others, prayer, Scripture, Southern born, thankful, Trials

I Hated Him

Posted on July 13, 2022July 12, 2022 by Dewayne Taylor

And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.” Ephesians 4:32

His name was Richard Jackson and I hated him. I know, I know…hate is a strong word, and you aren’t supposed to hate someone or anyone. But lying is wrong too and the truth is…I hated him. Besides all that I was in the eighth grade, so it was a long time ago and it was also before I decided to follow Jesus. I’ve wanted to write this story before, but I’ve always put it off…until today.

Anyone who knows anything can tell you that junior high, or middle school as they call it now, can be difficult…and mine was. I never was in the cool crowd at school…I just didn’t make the cut. And add to that I was a little too short and a little too pudgy and I guess that just made me a target. Richard Jackson wasn’t in the cool group either he was in that nether land where people go who aren’t really nerdy but aren’t cool either. In another world, Richard Jackson would be a target like me…but he wasn’t.

Richard Jackson wasn’t a target because he was the one who targeted others. By a twist of fate, he was big, real big. I’m not sure if he was big because of his DNA or the fact that he probably spent too many years in the eighth grade. Regardless, he was big and for whatever reason, when he looked for someone to push around and bully, he found me. We didn’t share classes, we didn’t live in the same neighborhood, and we sure didn’t go to the same church. Come to think about it, I’m sure Richard Jackson didn’t go to church.

Anyway, Richard Jackson, for most of my eighth-grade year made it his business to make me miserable. He would push and shove and threaten me almost daily. To make matters worse, Richard Jackson had a lackey who would hang around him. If Richard Jackson was big, Mark Williams wasn’t. He was skinny, almost scrawny, but all that didn’t matter because he belonged to Richard Jackson. Well, Richard Jackson decided that Mark Williams should beat me up and one day he said just that. He promised to ride my bus and get off at my stop and pummel me. That was a long day as I waited all day to get beat up.

Well, I got on the bus, they got on the bus and when it came to my bus stop…we all got off. Richard Jackson instantly started in on me and at the same time encouraging his lackey to hit me. Well, he did, square on the mouth and then we took to the ground and wrestled around a bit before it was all over. Well, every day for months I would take my tongue and feel the large knot on my lip. Every day for months I relived those few moments trying to make the outcome different. It never was. To this day, I hate that day.

I think, though I am not sure, that soon after this Richard Jackson lightened up some. In fact, by the time high school rolled around he was almost civil. His lackey Mark Williams went somewhere…maybe parole school for all I know. All I know is for a long time I allowed that day to define me. For a long time, I allowed the fear of another bully showing up to cause me to live in fear. And then finally, slowly, the fear disappeared but the scar remained.

As I write this, I still can feel the emotional pain that Richard Jackson and Mark Williams inflicted on me. And, honestly, it wouldn’t be too hard for me to hate them all over again but then I realize that wouldn’t accomplish anything. I’ve given them enough free rent in my brain already. Besides all that since those days I had another important day—I met a Man who loved me enough to die for me. I met a man who forgave me of everything I had ever done wrong. I met a man who said since I have forgiven you don’t you think you should forgive him…forgive them. And I realized He was right. If I didn’t, I was no better than they were.

Is there a Richard Jackson or a Mark Williams in your past…for present? Is there a scar on your heart the size of Texas because someone decided to put it there? Maybe just maybe it is time to let it go. Maybe it is time to forgive. As I wrote this, I was amazed at the emotion that still lingers in my heart and in my memories and I realized this forgiveness thing isn’t as easy as it seems. But that’s ok because the One who asked me to forgive stands ready to help me to forgive. He stands there ready to help, whispering, “It’s ok, I’ve got this.” Bro. Dewayne

Family, forgiveness, friends, Grace, life, love, loving others, Scripture, thankful, Trials

Not a Good Night

Posted on May 3, 2022May 2, 2022 by Dewayne Taylor

Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18

I’ve never had a baby, but I have had several kidney stones. I’ve never been slammed by a semi-truck going sixty-five, but I am almost certain that none of that hurt as bad as my shin and foot did. I hollered…maybe even screamed! I hollered, well, I’ve already said that, and then I blamed…not me, not the iron frame but poor Judy. My pain filled logic was it had to be her fault because she didn’t put the pillow in the door. Well, I did find the stinking pillow and I did put it in the stinking door. And I did one more thing.

As my shin and foot throbbed, as Judy apologized for what clearly wasn’t her fault and as she prayed for God to take the pain away…I realized I needed to apologize…and I did. It was all fine in a few minutes as we drifted off to sleep…gratefully not mad. Well, the next morning I looked at the wounds again and there was two gashes and one bruise. Ouch. Did I mention a semi-truck doing sixty-five miles an hour or having a baby? Judy stuck her head in the room a little later and I showed her the bruise and apologized one more time for good measure…and I meant it.

This unfortunate encounter caused me to realize that we must be careful about pain. You see, whether it is emotional or physical, when we are filled with pain we can say or do things we later regret. Someone said that hurt people hurt people. I know that is mostly speaking of emotional pain and scars, but it is also true when our foot and shin are sledgehammered into the bed frame. In addition to fixing or removing the problem, we need to plan, to practice how we are going to respond when pain walks into the room—or we walk into pain. We need to plan, or practice hitting the pause button or yanking on the emergency brake of our words. If we do maybe, we will stop before we let our hurt—hurt others.

Family, fear, forgiveness, Grace, gratitude, life, love, priorities, Scripture, sovereignty of God, Trials, wisdom

Preachers, Chicken, and Golf

Posted on February 9, 2022February 7, 2022 by Dewayne Taylor

Trust in the Lord and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper. Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you your heart’s desires. Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him, and He will help you.” Psalm 37:3-5

It never was my thing. I have been a pastor now for four decades and I’ve learned that there are a couple things that just seem to go with being a preacher. Number one is food…and fried chicken…in particular. I know there are pastors who don’t like fried chicken, but I personally tend to look at them with a little suspicion. I mean, you know, chicken—preachers: preachers-chicken. I once heard a couple of chickens talking and one was bragging to the other about her children. The other chicken asked why, and she said, “They are all “in the ministry.” Hmmm. That is a bad joke.

Now the other thing that kinda goes with being a preacher is golf. It goes like this, “So you are a preacher?” “Why yes.” “Do you play golf?” “Of course.” Well, unlike chicken, that is one preacher thing I don’t do and there is a logical reason—I’m terrible at it. I’ve hit the ball a few times but that’s about it. My golfing career came to a sudden stop after one particularly frustrating attempt to play. On that day, I was on the course with a very good friend who had invited me to try and play. After several holes, in frustration, I finally blurted out, “Why am I doing this? I can stay at home and be frustrated for free.” And that was it. Game. Set. Match. Oh wait…that is tennis…another thing I can’t do well. In spite of the demise of my golfing career, I have grown in my appreciation for the game. It obviously involves a whole lot of practice and skill.

One time we were staying at a home in Vero Beach, Florida. The home backed up to a very nice golf course. In fact, it was a world-class course. Even with my limited knowledge, I could tell the fairways on this course were better than the greens on most. It was magnificent. It had strict rules and you had better observe those rules. I had learned the hard way that you don’t drive a cart on one of the greens. If you do you might be shot or at least chased off the course.

Well, we were at this place for about a week and every morning I would have a cup of coffee on the patio and watch all these people play golf. Then something happened that totally surprised me. One morning, a crew with some specialty tractors showed up and began to tear up the part of the course behind our house. They methodically destroyed the thing that only days before they had carefully cultivated and protected. The very thing that would get you thrown out if you abused it was totally messed over. What was going on?

The answer was simple. The caretakers of the course knew that periodically you must come in and rebuild the course. This involves hurting the thing they love so it can be made stronger. It restores the soil which in turn helps the grass to grow stronger and greener. It really confused me but then I realized that is exactly what must happen in our lives. We have a heavenly Father who loves us so very much. Yet, just as the caretaker knew what was good for the course, our Father knows what is good for us. And that means sometimes He allows difficulties and adversity to come into our lives to stretch our faith and to teach us to lean on Him. His activity in our lives, even when it involves painful experiences, is strong proof of His love. Read that again. It means He loves us and cares for us.

God is love, God is good. You can take it to the bank. If we listen to our circumstances and the culture around us, we will be discouraged and disillusioned. There are two things we can do that will keep us on track. First, look back and count our blessings and second, spend time reading and meditating in His book, the Bible. What we put in our brain sure tends to affect how we live. One of the guys who wrote the book of Psalms in the Old Testament part of the Bible said we should trust in the Lord, delight in the Lord, and commit everything to the Lord. That is just good advice.

So here is the end of the golf course story. What had been so torn apart on Monday was already healing and growing by Thursday. Though we had to leave, I’m sure just weeks later, the course was better and stronger than ever—and you can believe and trust our Dearest Daddy for the same. He knows you better than you know yourself and no matter how difficult the day, you can believe that “He’s got this.” Bro. Dewayne