regret – Grits with Grace

food, friends, life, school days, Scripture, Trials

Losing Your Word Cookies

Posted on July 16, 2025July 13, 2025 by Dewayne Taylor

“A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.” Luke 6:45

The sound came from a couple of seats in front of me. There are two things that me and just about every other elementary school kid knew. First, if you wanted to gather a crowd, all you had to do was holler, “fight!” Shout that one word and every kid within hearing distance would come running. The second thing is if you want to scatter a group of elementary school kids just let someone, “lose their cookies” and you can empty a room in a matter of seconds.

Now I am assuming that you know that “losing your cookies” has nothing to do with losing your cookies but everything to do with grossness. Losing your cookies is a nice way of saying that someone got sick to their stomach and…well we will stop there. It is never pleasant for anyone…whether is in a classroom, a parking lot, a ball field or a bathroom. I know for me it ranks right up there with losing your left arm in a shark attack.

When it happens at school, the custodian suddenly becomes everyone’s hero. He shows up like a first responder…running in when everyone else is running out. I remember so well he would show up with this red sawdust stuff. He would spread it on the floor and, just like magic, the mess was cleaned up and gone. I don’t know if we every applauded him but he sure deserved it.

You know, not all messes are so easily cleaned up. Sometimes when we misspeak, intentionally or otherwise, or misuse our words, well, you might say, we lose our word cookies. Trust me…it is never good and the aftereffects are just about as unpleasant as losing your other cookies. Yuk, yuk and triple yuk. And there is good news and bad news when we lose our word cookies. First, the bad news. There is no red sawdust stuff to make it all go away. Nope, no matter how sorry we might feel, the consequences are still there. Bummer.

Now the good news. There is forgiveness. I have done my share of losing my word cookies and I usually have the common courtesy and sense to ask the person to forgive me and thankfully they usually are graceful enough to do so. And then there is God. Losing your word cookies is not only unkind—it is a sin and when we sin, if we ask, our Dearest Daddy is more than willing to forgive us. I like that…a lot…but I am also plumb grateful.

Well, they say an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure and they are right. Trying to set things straight is honorable but it is better not to put yourself in that position in the first place. In other words, watch your words and don’t lose your cookies. Jesus told us that our words are a reflection of what is in our hearts so if our words are sour it means are hearts are too. But remember, He can fix that too…just ask…He’s got this. Bro. Dewayne

Family, fear, forgiveness, friends, Grace, gratitude, life, love, loving others, prayer, priorities, school days, Scripture, Southern born, spiritual battles, Trials

Sand Spurs from the Past

Posted on October 9, 2024September 24, 2024 by Dewayne Taylor

He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.” Psalm 103:12

It was a voice from my past—and it was singing the blues. A while back we were in Southwest Florida on vacation, and I tried to keep up with my morning routines. That included, first and foremost, coffee. After coffee and a look at the weather came God time. After God time came Judy time. After Judy time came—exercise time. The problem with all these times is they all take time. Before I knew it, the sun was up, the humidity was up, and the temperature was up. Regardless, I had to get up and get going.

The first morning we were there I was still learning the lay of the land and wasn’t exactly sure where I should walk. So, I headed toward the way in and out of our condo property. This led to the highway and so I took a left and decided to walk on the edge of the road. It was safe but it was miserable. There was no shade and soon it was just plain hot—very hot— “why am I doing this” hot. I was determined to go my 3.6 miles, but I began wondering if this was such a good idea. After a little while longer I was sure it wasn’t. But you know how men are—do or die and in this case, death might have been an upgrade. Ok, I’m exaggerating.

In my misery, I met an old foe. There was a point when I had to cross a bridge across a channel. They had built a walkway but to get to the walkway you had to go behind a guardrail through the weeds. Without breaking stride, I charged on and then I saw them. Sand spurs. These were old foes from my childhood. They are a type of weed and have sharp, spine covered balls of pain at the ends of long stems. They will grab anything that gets close and if that happens to be your skin…you are done. If they don’t get you when they attach, they will get you when you try to detach them. Ugh.

Like I said, they were old foes from my childhood. When I was a kid, we would run barefoot all the time and without fail we would step on them. They would hurt…bad. Well, this time, even though I tried to avoid them, they found their way onto my shoes and socks, but I didn’t find them till I got back from my walk. As I was sitting by the pool trying to recover from a 145-heart rate and the 100-degree humidity, I found them. And, just like the old days, they made sure to give me a “stick and an ouch” as I tried to remove them. Just.Like.The.Old.Days. Though it was years ago, the whole sand spur scene was painfully fresh.

I find that sand spurs aren’t the only painful thing that loves to bump into our present. Often, too often, unpleasant memories and regrets sneak back into our lives and cause us pain all over again. Try as we may, sometimes, it seems they reattach themselves to us and we relive the whole hot mess again. It could be a similar situation or maybe a repeat performance, but all the pain and remorse come flooding back. I hate it, you hate it, but how do we avoid it?

Well, I tried to avoid the sand spurs on my walk. I saw them, I knew they were there, but in my rush, my determination to exercise, I simply didn’t give them the wide berth they deserved. I should have made it a higher priority. I realized that when I was trying to remove them. When you sense or when you feel your ugly, painful past creeping into the present, do whatever it takes to change the scenario. Don’t allow yourself to relive the “sand spurs” of past failures. Trust me—they will attach themselves to your present with all their former pain.

There is one more thing that is even more important than that. Should you find yourself reliving that regret, run straight into the arms of grace. Remember and relive the forgiveness that came after the failure. The Bible tells us that God casts our failures as far as the east is from the west. I love that because it doesn’t say as far as the north is from the south. You see if you go north long enough you will find the south. But not so with east from the west. You can travel east forever and never find the west. And that dear friend, is what God does with our failures and sin if we ask Him for forgiveness and help. It is gone—outta here and that is really good news.

Well, I couldn’t wait to show Judy my sand spurs, not because I liked them but because they reminded me of an important part of my past and the fact that I knew they were not going to be a permanent part of my future. I may have bumped into them, but I wasn’t going to live with them. And that is a good thing. So, as you are speed walking through life, remember to give your painful past a wide berth and keep Jesus close by your side. You’ll find Him a mobile “rest stop,” there to make every step, every day survivable and “thrive-able.” And never forget, He’s got this. Bro. Dewayne

Family, food, forgiveness, friends, Grace, gratitude, life, love, loving others, prayer, pride, Scripture, thankful, Trials, wisdom

The Stain Remains

Posted on March 7, 2024March 1, 2024 by Dewayne Taylor

So if your eye—even your good eye—causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.” Matthew 5:29

Despite my best efforts…it happened. This isn’t a story about one event…or two…or even three. It is a story about a reoccurring thing in my life…and probably in yours. So, imagine with me. You are having dinner, and it is one of your favorites—spaghetti! You have on a favorite shirt or blouse, and it is one of your favorite colors. So, something tells you that you should change shirts, but you don’t. Instead, you decide it is too much trouble, so you make a conscious decision to be careful and it works—till it doesn’t.

You are careful not to slurp the noodles, you are careful to lean over your plate but alas you look down and there, on your favorite shirt you see several freckles of reddish orange. The dreaded spaghetti sauce has somehow found its way not to your mouth but to your shirt. Bummer. You jump from the table and immediately head to the kitchen sink and arm yourself with a damp dishcloth and some Dawn dishwashing soap. After all, everyone knows from the television commercials that Dawn can do anything…even save the life of a small duckling.

You carefully begin to rub the spots and slowly they get lighter and lighter—until they don’t. On no, despite your best efforts, your favorite shirt now has some permanent light reddish-orange freckles. The sauce is gone but it has left a cotton-picking stain, and no amount of scrubbing or rubbing is going to change the outcome. No amount of regret for not changing the shirt before you started dinner is going to change this. The stain remains.

And do you know what? What is true about shirts and spaghetti is true about us and our lives. You know what I mean—we are faced with a choice, and we choose poorly. We say we are sorry, both to God and whoever else it impacts, but the stain remains. We say something to someone, the kind of words that are better left unspoken, and we watch as the hurt spreads across their face. We apologize but they know, and you know that while forgiveness is granted, the stain will remain.

If we are wise, and let’s be honest, sometimes we are not, we would do well to think before we speak. We would be wise enough to take whatever action necessary to avoid the whole mess—and the stain that will remain. They say an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure and that is so, so true. Jesus said, “So if your eye—even your good eye—causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.” Yeah, I know, drastic right? But remember this is spoken by Someone who understood the seriousness of sin—who would later die on a cross to pay for yours…and mine.

So, the next time you are sitting down for a nice spaghetti dinner, remember this plate of Grits and change your shirt. Oh, and the next time you are about to make a bad choice remember that the stain, the consequences, will remain. The good news is if you still splatter the shirt of your life, His grace is gonna be sufficient. He’s got this.

Bro. Dewayne

Family, fear, friends, Grace, gratitude, life, loving others, priorities, Scripture, sovereignty of God, thankful, travel, Trials

Don’t Wait

Posted on October 3, 2022October 2, 2022 by Dewayne Taylor

Then Jesus told him, “Hurry and do what you’re going to do.” John 13:27

Who would have known? Sometimes a change of plans can be bigger than we think. As you might remember through several Grits stories, my wife Judy and I have made a couple of trips down to Ft. Myers and Marathon Key, Florida. We had a great time. We landed in Ft. Myers, rented a Mustang convertible, and then drove to the Keys. After several days, we drove back to Ft. Myers and stayed at a really nice place called, “Lover’s Key.” It overlooked a beautiful large bay and was just a few blocks from the beach. We ate some incredible seafood at a couple of incredible restaurants. Well, the bottom line is we had such a good time we knew we had to visit again.

This year, early in the year, we laid plans to do just that…visit again. We originally set the time for around Labor Day weekend but later, because of the crowds, changed it to September 8-17. We booked a few days at Marathon Key, a few days at Lover’s Key, and the Mustang…well, that wasn’t going to happen. Prices for rental cars, Mustang or not, had just about tripled. Oh well, we could at least roll down the window. We were excited…anticipating a repeat of last year. And then…things went crazy with the airlines and the economy, and we knew we would have to cancel…and we did.

What we didn’t know, what we couldn’t know was a powerful hurricane named Ian was going to sweep into the Gulf of Mexico and literally destroy Ft. Myers. Just eleven days after our planned dates, Ft. Myers as we knew it was gone. The wonderful restaurants, the beautiful beaches at Ft. Myers and Sanibel Island—all gone. The truth is it will eventually recover but it will be years and years and years and still yet there will be scars. And here’s what I now wonder.

What if, what if we had known that this beautiful place was going to be swept away would we have made a greater effort to go? If we had just known that the time we had planned might be the last time…would we have made a greater effort? Honesty, would money, would price have mattered? And the answer is—no. I honestly believe we would have made every effort to visit. Knowing it was going to be perhaps the last time would have changed our effort and the value of the visit. But alas, it is too late.

Like I said, it will eventually open back for people like me to visit but the scars of that terrible day in September will linger long after the last road is rebuilt. And that made me think. What is there in our lives that we are putting off? What is it in our lives that we think, we figure, we can do later? What thing are we waiting to say, waiting to do, thinking, believing there will be enough time? And you know what I know—we don’t know if there will be time or not. That means, perhaps, just perhaps, we need to say and do what needs to be said and done—now not later. We shouldn’t and perhaps can’t wait because things can and do change and later might be too late.

I call it my favorite “taken out of context” scripture. It involves Jesus and Judas. Jesus knows what Judas is about to do so He tells him, “Hurry and do what you are going to do.” That whatever is his betrayal of Jesus to the authorities. Like I said it is terribly taken out of context but still there are those glaring words…hurry and do whatever you are going to do. Judy and I have been talking a lot about our next chapter in life. We are both getting older, and we keep asking each other…and God, “What’s next?” Well, we are not privy to all of that, but we do have today…we do have now. The bottom line is we need to do what we can do now and say what we want to say now for tomorrow may not come.

Do quickly. Don’t wait. Don’t procrastinate. Don’t wish you would have…rather be glad that you did. Remember, grateful that you did is always so much better than regret. I’m hoping writing this will spark wisdom in my life. While we don’t know about tomorrow, fortunately we do know Someone who does. To some He is just God but to some of us He is known as Dearest Daddy and we know and believe that He knows our tomorrows. We also know and believe that “He’s got this.” Bro. Dewayne

Family, fear, life, Scripture, Southern born, thankful, travel, Trials

Sandspurs from the Past

Posted on September 15, 2022September 14, 2022 by Dewayne Taylor

He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.” Psalm 103:12

It was a voice from my past—and it was singing the blues. While we were in Southwest Florida on holiday, I tried to keep up with my morning routines. That included, first and foremost, coffee. After coffee and a look at the weather came God time. After God time came Judy time. After Judy time came—exercise time. The problem with all these times is they all take time. Before I knew it, the sun was up, the humidity was up, and the temperature was up. Regardless, I had to get up and get going.

In my misery, I met an old friend. There was a point when I had to cross a bridge across a channel. They had built a walkway but to get to the walkway you had to go behind a guardrail through the weeds. Without breaking stride, I charged on and then I saw them. Sandspurs. These were old friends from my childhood. They are a type of weed and have sharp, spine covered balls of pain at the ends of long stems. They will grab anything that gets close and if that happens to be your skin…you are done. If they don’t get you when they attach, they will get you when you try to detach them. Ugh.

Like I said, they were an old foe from my childhood. When I was a kid, we would run barefoot all the time and without fail we would step on them. They would hurt…bad. Well, this time, even though I tried to avoid them, they found their way onto my shoes and socks, but I didn’t find them till I got back from my walk. As I was sitting by the pool trying to recover from a 145-heart rate and the 100-degree humidity, I found them. And, just like the old days, they made sure to give me a “stick and an ouch” as I tried to remove them. Just.Like.The.Old.Days. Though it was years ago, the whole sandspur scene was painfully fresh.

I find that sandspurs aren’t the only painful thing that love to bump into our present. Often, too often, unpleasant memories and regrets, sneak back into our lives and cause us pain all over again. Try as we may, sometimes, it seems they reattach themselves to us and we relive the whole hot mess again. It could be a similar situation or maybe a repeat performance, but all the pain and remorse come flooding back. I hate it, you hate it, but how do we avoid it?

Well, I tried to avoid the sandspurs on my walk. I saw them, I knew they were there, but in my rush, my determination to exercise, I simply didn’t give them the wide berth they deserved. I should have made it a higher priority. I realized that when I was trying to remove them. When you sense or when you feel your ugly, painful past creeping into the present, do whatever it takes to change the scenario. Don’t allow yourself to relive the “sandspurs” of past failures. Trust me—they will attach themselves to your present with all their former pain.

Well, I couldn’t wait to show Judy my sandspurs, not because I liked them but because they reminded me of an important part of my past and the fact that I knew they were not going to be a permanent part of my future. I may have bumped into them, but I wasn’t going to live with them. And that is a good thing. So, as you are speed walking through life, remember to give your painful past a wide berth and keep Jesus close by your side. You’ll find Him a mobile “rest stop,” there to make every step, every day survivable and “thrive-able.” And never forget, He’s got this. Bro. Dewayne