relationships – Grits with Grace

Family, friends, Grace, gratitude, life, prayer, priorities, Scripture, Southern born, sovereignty of God, thankful

Sweet Magnolia

Posted on August 8, 2024August 1, 2024 by Dewayne Taylor

As for that in the good soil, they are those who, hearing the word, hold it fast in an honest and good heart, and bear fruit with patience.” Luke 8:15

After all,…it is Southern Illinois. I was born and raised in the Southeastern corner of the United States and almost ironically—in the Northern corner of Florida. Some people from the South want to downplay Florida almost like it is a Southern stepchild. Anyway, I love the South and am proud of my Southern genes. And just for the record—that doesn’t mean I am proud of everything Southern—if you follow me.

Now, with that said, there are plenty of things “Southern” that I love. As an example, how about a hot serving of grits—no sugar ever. Or how about a big slice of pecan pie or some collards, or turnip greens with side order of field peas. My goodness can someone say, “Amen.” And of course, you have to wash it all down with a big glass of iced sweet tea. Anything else? Sure. How about an afternoon rocking on the front porch waving at people or maybe the kind of thunderstorm that shakes the windows and rattles the doors? Oh yes, there’s plenty of the good life in the South.

Should I keep going? Well, there are peach orchards and those trees that produce the pecans for those pies. There are giant oaks and tall slender pines and yards filled with azalea bushes in full bloom and blanketed in Saint Augustine grass. And of course, every imaginary image of the South needs a tall and beautiful Magnolia tree. There are two things that Judy and I can do to think of the South. We can cross the bridge and visit Paducah “where they talk right” and we can just glance around town at the fine selection of Magnolia trees that grow right here in Southern Illinois.

I read in an article recently that the Magnolia is widely considered one of the most beautiful and fragrant trees of the South and I certainly agree. Its large, white and fragrant blossoms often dot main streets and gardens across the South—and I guess that includes Southern Illinois. But what I didn’t know is that its soil – when healthy – produces an equally wonderful aroma. They say the soil smells like a mix of cinnamon and fresh fruit—but there is more!

That good smelling soil around a Magnolia is a sure sign that the tree is in good condition. In other words—a tree in good condition smells good and so does the soil but the opposite is also true. When the tree is diseased or decaying, the soil around it produces a rancid, putrid smell that’s unmistakable. You might say the unseen is a good indicator of the health of what is seen.

How about you? When people are around you does your life smell of the fragrance of Christ? Can people tell you belong to Him—not by the message on your hat or your shirt but rather the message of your attitude and actions? If someone was to dig around in your life, would they find the soil smells of Christ or something that is dead or dying? Let’s make it our desire, our goal to be like Him so we smell like Him. Let’s live in such a way that people, no matter how much they dig into our lives, know we are planted in the rich soil of His love. Let our fragrance be a life that shouts our faith—that “He’s got this.” Bro. Dewayne

Family, fear, friends, Grace, gratitude, life, prayer, school days, Scripture, Southern born, thankful, Trials

What Lurks Beneath the Surface

Posted on February 21, 2024February 19, 2024 by Dewayne Taylor

Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me.” Psalm 139:23-24

There was something stinky right below the surface. There were a lot of things I just didn’t know or understand growing up, but that was ok because my world was low key. Looking back, maybe, perhaps those were some of my favorite memories in this journey called life. This was especially true in the years before junior high. As an elementary age kid, it was sunup to sundown adventures. Little did I know that something was brewing right beneath my feet.

We lived in the country which meant no city water or sewer. In fact, I think I can safely say I didn’t even know there was such a thing. We had a well and pump in our backyard and that is where our water came from, and I thought that is what everyone did. We also had something called a septic tank. That handled all the, uh, waste, from the Taylor Tribe. There were two things I didn’t know. First, I didn’t know we had one and second, I didn’t know it was right under our back porch. All that changed when one day a big truck pulled into our yard. It turns out they were there to “pump out our septic tank.” Now anything that was big and mechanical I was all about. I watched in amazement as they moved some dirt and pried this huge, heavy slab of concrete off an equally huge tank thing.

It was just about then, I decided to back up because whatever was in there was not cool. They put a big hose in that tank thing and began to suck it all out. Now I know this is a bit gross but stay with me. So, the tank was empty, and they slid the lid back in place and off they went. Well, soon I forgot the big truck and forgot about the thing under our porch. Months later, I was playing in our backyard, and I noticed that water was bubbling up from the ground…not in one place but several. Soon, my nose took me back to what was under the porch. It turned out that thing under the porch had what was called a drain field…and it wasn’t working. And because it wasn’t working…what was hidden beneath the ground soon wasn’t. The stinky was revealed.

Well, afford it or not, like it or not, they came and dug up a big part of our backyard and replaced the old clay tile pipes with new ones. It was all pretty interesting and soon the holes were covered up and the equipment moved on and magically, the stink was gone. Looking back, I think it was funny that something so funky and yucky could be right there beneath my feet and I never knew it…until it came to the surface. And once it started to bubble up…what was hidden no longer was.

I’ve lived long enough now to know what was true in my backyard is true in life. So often we allow some foul stuff to hang around in our lives. You know, secret sins, bad habits, and destructive addictions—stuff rolling around in our minds or banging around in our hearts. We manage to keep it all under control, “under the ground,” until one day…it bubbles to the surface, and you find yourself wondering, “Where did that come from?” Worse than that, people start wondering about the same thing. You can take it to the bank that secrets often don’t remain secret. Moses, yup, the guy who led God’s people out of Egypt, said that we can be sure our sin, or our habits, or our addictions will be found out…they will eventually come to the surface.

What I learned about septic tanks as a kid is true today too. They needed regular maintenance and sometimes repairs to function correctly. We need the same. We need to regularly examine our heart and our conscience to see if there is anything we need to get “pumped” out. If we are God followers, we need to have the courage to ask Him to check out what lurks below the surface of our lives. One of the writers of the Psalms in the Old Testament part of the Bible said, “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me.”

Some prayers are harder to pray than others…and this is one of those. Search me, know me, try me…know my thoughts. Giving God permission (though He really doesn’t need it) to pry into your stuff is hard but profitable. I mean, the prying isn’t for Him…it is for you. It helps you be a better you. Oh, and don’t worry…you can’t surprise Him. The big surprise is when you hear Him say, “Oh all that stuff, no problem. I’ve got this.”

Family, food, friends, gratitude, Holidays, life, loving others, Scripture, Southern born, thankful, Thanksgiving

Leftovers

Posted on November 24, 2023November 21, 2023 by Dewayne Taylor

No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.” Philippians 3:13

One of the best things about Thanksgiving doesn’t happen on Thanksgiving. Well, let’s be honest, for most of us blessed to live here in America it is a day to throw the diet out the window, to loosen the belt a notch, to forget trying to bend over. It is the day after the feast. I know for the Taylor tribe we have perfected the feast to a fine art. Each year there are certain items that just must be on the table. There is the most incredible mac-n-cheese in the world, a sweet potato soufflé, oh, and strawberry pretzel salad. And that is the short list. There is also green bean casserole, rolls, some sort of salad and, well, you get the idea. Even a sampling of the feast will cause your belt to shrink a notch or two. Thanksgiving food…you gotta love it.

But here is the best part. Eventually, perhaps hours, but maybe the next day, there will be a hint of hunger. As full as you feel after the feast, you will get hungry again and that’s when it happens. You can go to the refrigerator and start unloading the leftovers. All that joy from the Thanksgiving feast is reborn right before your eyes. And the amazing part is that some of the dishes taste even better than the first time. A couple of minutes in the microwave will have you smiling just like the day before. And the hits just keep on coming because some, not all mind you, but some will make it for day two.

And then there is the turkey. Mr. Turkey must be related to the cat because it seems to have nine or more lives. After the initial onslaught of Thanksgiving and the day after, there always seems to be more turkey. What should we do? Well, some might be given a quick trip to the freezer, but some will be reborn in a myriad of creative and tasty recipes. Who knows the multitude of ways Mr. Turkey can be reborn in the days following Thanksgiving? You see, in some ways, Thanksgiving is the holiday that just keeps on giving. Just ask your waistline.

I realize that some folks aren’t fans of leftovers. I knew one guy who simply refused to eat them and of course that is every person’s choice. But as for me, I say bring them on. Whether it is a Thanksgiving feast or a leftover burger from some fast-food place, it is all waiting for a second chance to satisfy that hunger pain. Now to be fair, sometimes those leftovers are better left alone. What might have been a crunchy delight one day can be a soggy mess the next, so you must choose your leftovers carefully. Sometimes, it’s better to let that tasty dish go on the first go around.

Do you suppose that is true in life too? You know, our choices and actions can be like those leftovers. Some choices are worth savoring for days, weeks, and months or maybe even a lifetime. Trusting Jesus…now that was a good decision that will last forever. Marrying my wife Judy…check. Forty-seven years later and I’m still humming, “We’ve Only Just Begun.” Having kids? That’s a good one too though there have been times in their teen years when I pondered checking the return policy. The truth is all of us, if we look, will discover there are some great leftovers that spill joy into our lives every day.

Truthfully, and painfully, there are some leftovers that still cause our hearts to hurt. A broken relationship left unattended, a harsh word spoken and left hanging without an apology, poor health decisions…yes, there are painful leftovers in every person’s life. While we can’t just make them disappear like fog burning off in the morning, we can do what we can do and that is to seek and receive forgiveness. First, let it start with God. Let Him know how you regret and repent or turn from whatever it was. Then, if an apology is due, give it. Even if the person is no longer around, you can apologize. Maybe write a letter and then burn it. And lastly, we need to forgive ourselves and that, by the way, might be the most difficult thing to do. And then, take the sad leftovers and take them to the trash…where they belong.

I love what Paul the Bible writer said. He said we should forget the past and look forward. He wasn’t saying we should forget because that probably isn’t possible. He was saying we should not allow a past that is forgiven to own us in the present. Quit giving those thoughts space in your brain. He was saying we need to get rid of those old, rotten leftovers and that is something we can do. So, savor the good and ditch the regretful. Sounds difficult? That’s ok because there is a Dearest Father who will help you. In fact, listen carefully, even now He is whispering, “I’ve got this.” Bro. Dewayne

Family, food, friends, Grace, gratitude, life, loving others, missions, prayer, priorities, Scripture, sovereignty of God, thankful, travel

Looking for Grits

Posted on October 5, 2023 by Dewayne Taylor

Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

I went and searched, and we were out. You all know that food and I go way back. One of my favorite rooms in my house isn’t the biggest—not by a long shot. In fact, it is one of the smallest. It is so small, when they built that part of our house shortly after World War II, they had to custom make a little door for the little room. I find myself using that door a lot. And where does that door lead? It leads into our pantry.

Not every house even has a pantry but ours does. It is where we keep all our food stuff. Of course, the cold stuff goes into the refrigerator, the frozen stuff goes in the freezer, and just about everything else goes in the pantry. So, when you need something that has to do with food…it is the “go to” place. There are cans and boxes and bags and containers that all share one thing in common—they all contain food. When Judy is cooking, she will often go there to get what she needs. Most times she will find it sitting right there on the shelf but sometimes it is empty, sometimes we have used the last of the last and then it is time to go to the store.

Well, I think it is time for my wife (and graphic designer) and me to go the store and get some more Grits. As you know, our stories are taken from everyday life and after three and a half years, the shelf is getting just a little bare. So, we are going to take a little break and go to the store. For the next couple of weeks, we are going to be “out of pocket” on a mission trip and a week of vacation. We are certain between those two we can surely come back with a fresh supply of adventures and stories. So, what does that mean?

After today, if you want to find Grits, you will need to visit our Facebook page and scroll back and pick a story to read. Even better, you can visit our website, http://www.gritswithgrace.com and you can either scroll or search by topic or even scripture. Virtually every story we have written and used or reused over the last three years is there. I hope you will make that your Grits pantry for the next couple of weeks.

If you are into praying, you might ask our Father to help these two weeks to be profitable and peaceful—filled with service and purpose. As you look for Grits each morning, take a moment, and ask God to guide our steps. We are hoping it will be a time when we can recharge our batteries and come back with a bag full of Grits’ ideas. Jesus told His disciples that when they grew a little weary, they should come to Him and He would give them rest. As we go, we are looking forward to spending some time together and with Him. But don’t forget the big thing we have learned over these months and years that no matter what, we know for certain that, “He’s got this.” Bro. Dewayne

food, friends, Grace, gratitude, life, loving others, priorities, Scripture, Southern born, thankful, travel

Sweet Tea

Posted on March 7, 2023March 6, 2023 by Dewayne Taylor

Indeed, we have all received grace upon grace from His fullness.” John 1:16

Sweet tea…oh yes, the drink of the south. I was raised in the deep south and both food and drink were especially important. To most southerners, including me, food was never just food, it was the great comforter—the billboard along the highway of life that said, “it’s gonna be ok.” Growing up, whenever I was sad or happy or maybe a little blue, food was my friend. And what is good food without something good to wash it down? And down south…that must be “sweet tea.” For clarity sweet tea is not brownish, tan water with some sugar or sweetener thrown in. No, sweet tea is brewed, a southern tradition and creation, and when it is done right, well, it’s downright heavenly. When it is done wrong, you end up with sweet brown water.

Sweet tea is not like wine. I’ve heard that wine needs time to age to become fine. That is not true with southern sweet tea. You see good, sweet tea has a short life span. Some would say hours, but no true southerner would say days. If sweet tea is done right, it turns to syrup overnight. Leave a pitcher in the refrigerator till the next day and it becomes a whole different animal. Good, sweet tea is meant to be drank in the moment. You may well sip it, but don’t take too long.

I discovered another kind of sweet tea from another part of the world. When the folks in West Africa drink their version of sweet tea, well, it is an event. First, it is served hot and not cold. Second, it is strong…VERY strong. They brew their tea in a very small pot, with a little water, a lot of tea and over a small coal fired burner. When it comes to a strong boil, they add boatloads of sugar…and I am not kidding. They scoop and scoop and scoop some more. The final result is one of the strongest and sweetest things you can imagine. Trust me, if you weren’t diabetic before you started, you will be by the time you finish. They say their tea is sweet like life and bitter like death.

The way they present their tea is also special. The host will go to great lengths (no pun intended) to pour his or her tea from pot to cup or glass from great heights. The distance a person can pour their tea and not miss the cup is almost a matter of national pride. A famous one-liner is, “I can pour my tea from the back of a camel on a very windy day.” It is a cultural thing…it is a people thing. You see good, sweet tea does that. It brings people together. Whether it is a front porch in South Georgia, or a mat spread on the sands of the Sahara, tea…sweet tea, brings people together.

Today, in a time when there seems to be so much to pull us apart, maybe we all just need to sit down and have a good glass of sweet tea. For our friends in West Africa, it is just a necessity. Go see someone and tea will be offered and, tea will be shared. It builds relationships, it opens the door of communication. Maybe that is one reason why my Momma and Daddy shared a cup of coffee every day when he came home from work. Maybe that is the reason we should do the same. Often when people talk instead of yelling, things change. It is true in government, and it is true in church and it is true in homes.

I’m sure there are lots of reasons why things are so fragmented today and I’m also sure that a glass of sweet tea, no matter how good, won’t solve everything. However, I do know something that might. That is a couple of teaspoons of grace. Just like sugar tames the bitterness of the tea, so grace can tame a temper or temper a difficult situation. Tempered steel is made stronger by the process of applying heat. In the same way, relationships and people are made stronger by applying grace. And we have grace to share because the Bible says that from His fullness, we have all received grace upon grace.

So, when’s the last time you just sat down with a friend, or an adversary for that matter, and had some good, sweet tea mixed with a little grace? You might be surprised to learn that the gulf between the both of you is not as great as you think. It is certainly not so wide that grace can’t span the gap and trust me, no, trust Him—there is always grace enough. As always, He’s got this. Bro. Dewayne

Family, food, Grace, gratitude, life, love, loving others, missions, priorities, Scripture, Southern born, thankful, travel, wisdom

Sweet Tea

Posted on May 20, 2021May 19, 2021 by Dewayne Taylor

Indeed, we have all received grace upon grace from His fullness.” John 1:16

Sweet tea…oh yes, the drink of the south. I was raised in the deep south and both food and drink were especially important. To most southerners, including me, food was never just food, it was the great comforter—the billboard along the highway of life that said, “it’s gonna be ok.” Growing up, whenever I was sad or happy or maybe a little blue—food was my friend. And what is good food without something good to wash it down? And down south…that has to be “sweet tea.” For clarity sweet tea is not brownish, tan water with some sugar or sweetener thrown in. No, sweet tea is brewed, a southern tradition and creation, and when it is done right, well, it’s down right heavenly. When it is done wrong, you end up with sweet brown water.

Sweet tea is not like wine. I’ve heard that wine needs time to age to become fine. That is not true with southern sweet tea. You see good, sweet tea has a short life span. Some would say hours, but no true southerner would say days. If sweet tea is done right it turns to syrup overnight. Leave a pitcher in the refrigerator till the next day and it becomes a whole different animal. Good sweet tea is meant to be drank in the moment. You may well sip it, but don’t take too long.

I discovered another kind of sweet tea from another part of the world. When the folks in West Africa drink their version of sweet tea, well, it is an event. First, it is served hot and not cold. Second, it is strong…VERY strong. They brew their tea in a very small pot, with a little water, a lot of tea and over a small coal fired burner. When it comes to a strong boil, they add boatloads of sugar…and I am not kidding. They scoop and scoop and scoop some more. The end result is one of the strongest and sweetest things you can imagine. Trust me, if you weren’t diabetic before you started, you will be by the time you finish. They say their tea is sweet like life and bitter like death.

The way they present their tea is also special. The host will go to great lengths (no pun intended) to pour his or her tea from pot to cup or glass from great heights. The distance a person can pour their tea and not miss the cup is almost a matter of national pride. A famous one-liner is, “I can pour my tea from the back of a camel on a very windy day.” It is a cultural thing…it is a people thing. You see good sweet tea does that. It brings people together. Whether it is a front porch in South Georgia, or a mat spread on the sands of the Sahara, tea…sweet tea, brings people together.

Today, in a time when there seems to be so much to pull us apart, maybe we all just need to sit down and have a good glass of sweet tea. For our friends in West Africa it is just a necessity. Go see someone and tea will be offered and, tea will be shared. It builds relationships, it opens the door of communication. Maybe that is one reason why my Momma and Daddy shared a cup of coffee every day when he came home from work. Maybe that is the reason we should do the same. Often when people talk instead of yelling, things change. It is true in government and it is true in church and it is true in homes.