Posted in Family, forgiveness, friends, Grace, gratitude, Integrity, life, love, loving others, prayer, Scripture, thankful, Trials

A Little Misunderstanding

Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.” Colossians 4:6

It was just a little misunderstanding.  The story is told of a pastor who visited a man in the hospital.  As he stood by the bed, the man began to be in deep distress.  Unable to speak he quickly wrote the pastor a note, handed it to him and then just died.  In all the confusion of the moment, the pastor slid the note into his pocket and forgot about it. Several days later the pastor was conducting the memorial service for the man.  The pastor was describing the man…his life, his good heart, and his service for others.  Then it happened.

The pastor suddenly remembered that he had the note in his suit pocket.  He told the audience, “I have just remembered the day Joe died I was visiting him in the hospital, and he slipped me a note right before he passed away. I failed to read it and have just now remembered it is in my pocket. How special it would be if we could share his final thoughts together now.  So, the pastor reached into his pocket, pulled out the note and read, “You’re standing on my oxygen hose.” Smile.

As a pastor you can bet, I’ve got some crazy stories and a lot of them revolve around little misunderstandings and lack of communication.  Recently I told the story of how I was visiting one of our members in the hospital and she was quite ill.  When I make a visit, I naturally slip into my “let me make you feel better mode.”  For me there are two great fix-all’s—humor and food. But sometimes, many times, a person just needs compassion and kindness.  This was one of those times.

I walked into the room, and she was lying in the bed softly moaning.  I moved over by the bed and whispered her name.  She opened her eyes, slightly smiled, and said, “Pastor, thank you for coming by.” We shared for just a few minutes, and it was obvious she was very sick.  And then she said, “I just want to go home.”  I softy said, “I know.” And she said it again and then another time. Each time I responded with some simple words of understanding.  After the third time I upped my game.  I said, “I know you want to go home and when God is ready, He will take you.”

Well, imagine my surprise, and embarrassment, when she said, “NOT that home, pastor, my home.”  Oh…oops. I was ready to ship her off to heaven and she was just wanting to go back to her house.  Like I said, sometimes there is just a lack of understanding and communication. When that happens, we need to admit that we missed it and if necessary, ask for a little grace or perhaps give a little grace.  I quickly apologized for the misunderstanding, she did get better and indeed went to her home. We even had the chance to laugh about it later.

In the world we find ourselves these days there are multiple opportunities for misunderstandings.  When we find ourselves in too close of quarters for too long, when we have differing opinions about everything, misunderstandings are bound to happen.  In the regular world the normal response would be to get mad and often get even.  In the regular world the normal response would be more anger and more division.  But for Jesus followers that is just not an option.

The Bible tells us over and again that if we follow Jesus we are to act like Jesus.  We often get that when it comes to moral responses—and rightfully so.  But we too often miss the biggest application—how we respond when we bump into other people…or they bump into us.  Paul, one of the major writers in the Bible says, “Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.”  I like that.  Gracious and attractive.  Mama used to say this, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything.  I wonder if Mama knew Paul.

Well, the bottom line is there will always be plenty of opportunities to bump into people.  There will always be plenty of opportunities to respond in a “not so Jesus’ way.”  But what if we hit the pause button right before we speak and ask ourselves, “Is this gracious or attractive?  Is this nice?” I wonder how things would change.  In these dark days the world needs “Jesus lights.” It needs us to shine for Him even when we get a little tired and a little weary.  We need to recognize that is just a setup for regretful words.  Let’s choose option “B.”  Let’s just rest in Him and choose to think before we speak.  After all, He’s got this.  Bro. Dewayne

Posted in Family, friends, Grace, gratitude, life, love, prayer, Scripture, thankful, Trials, wisdom

Listening

Serve only the Lord your God and fear Him alone. Obey His commands, listen to His voice, and cling to Him.” Deuteronomy 13:4

It seems that everywhere I go, bells are ringing.  Bells are incredible instruments.  At Christmas, they joyfully announce the arrival of the Christ child.  A week later they peal in the New Year.  Sometimes their message is one of sorrow.  In a couple of months or so we will observe the anniversary of the 9/11/01 attack in New York.  Around the nation, bells will toll mournful as we grieve the loss of so many lives. Many churches ring their bells on Sunday morning, inviting, reminding, and urging people to come to worship.  Yes, bells are still an important part of our culture.

The bells I hear though are totally different.  In fact, I’m not sure bells describe what I hear…but for sure something is ringing…in my ears.  They call it tinnitus—I call it annoying.  I’m not sure when it started by it was ears—uh, make that years, ago.  It is mainly in my left ear, my bad ear, and 24 hours a day, seven days a week, there is this ringing sound.  Sometimes it is louder than others—sometimes softer but it is always there.  Some people even say it sounds like crickets…or even cicadas.  All I know is that I sure wish it would stop.  And that’s not all.

I also have the gift of floaters, also, in my left eye.   Hmmm…left ear, left eye, left-handed.  Is there a connection here?  So, you may ask, “What are floaters?”  In the optical world they are small pieces of something that float around in the fluid that fills your eye.  They are sometimes dots and sometimes strands but all the time they too are annoying.  I notice them most when I look at a bright computer screen…there goes one…there’s another…or at any kind of white or bright background.  And, like the ringing, they are always there.

There are many proposed cures for the ringing…none seem to work…and there is a fix for the floaters, but it involves sticking a needle in your eye.  I remember a childhood rhyme about a needle in my eye and it didn’t sound good then and it doesn’t sound good now.  What am I going to do?  Well, so far, the best trick is to…ignore them both.  I am learning to ignore the ringing and I am learning to ignore the floaters.  Oh sure, it takes practice, but I am learning to deal with it.  They never totally go away but with a bit of practice, I can zone out the ringing and stare past the floaters.

Learning to ignore ringing ears and floater eyes is a good thing but I also am learning that it is not a good thing to ignore everything.  Remember that red engine light…not the orange one…the red one…uh, don’t ignore that.  How about the speed warning you set one day in your gadget rich new car…the one that says, “Slow down?”  Probably shouldn’t ignore that either.  Reminder of your anniversary on your calendar? Nope.  The alarm clock in the morning? Not that either.  You see there are things you can and perhaps should ignore and there are some you just should pay attention too.

When I was growing up, I learned not to ignore my Daddy’s voice.  He would call, “Dewayne, come here.”  My response was a prompted, “Yes, sir.”  He would wait just a few seconds and ask, “Are you coming?”  I would respond again with, “Yes, sir.”  And he always, always responded with, “Make me know it.”  He was making sure I was hearing and responding to his request and not hearing and ignoring it.  It has stuck with me all of my life.  Make.Me.Know.It.

My other Father, my Dearest Father in heaven, wants me to respond to Him too.  He doesn’t shout, in fact, sometimes He whispers, but I have found that if I will intentionally listen, I can hear Him.  Moses, the guy who parted the Red Sea, wrote in Deuteronomy, “Serve only the Lord your God and fear Him alone. Obey His commands, listen to His voice, and cling to Him.” Sounds like a good plan to me.

If I am wise, I will respond with a “Yes, Lord” and never give Him cause to say, “Make me know it.” I say that not because of fear, but because of respect.  You see I obeyed my earthly father, most of the time, because I loved and respected him.  And that is also true for my Dearest Daddy.  He is worthy of our deepest love and respect. Let’s make sure our hearts and ears hear the sweet whispers of heaven. Let’s not miss it when He whispers, “I’ve got this.”  Bro. Dewayne