Tag: shame

Posted in Family, forgiveness, friends, Grace, gratitude, Integrity, life, love, loving others, prayer, Scripture, sovereignty of God, spiritual battles, thankful, Trials

Beautifully Broken

Posted on by Dewayne Taylor

For He raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with Him in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ Jesus. So God can point to us in all future ages as examples of the incredible wealth of His grace and kindness toward us.” Ephesians 2:6-7

Beautifully broken. It sits on the top shelf in the kitchen of our Airbnb. When it was born, probably somewhere in China, it was an attractive clay pot with a small neck and two small handles, one of each side. It began its journey with the Taylors in our home and when we started up our Airbnb, somehow and for some reason, it went to live there. Well, one day we received a text message from one of our guests. She let us know that she had bumped the clay, and it had fallen and broken into several pieces.

She was very sorry and even offered to pay for the piece, but we told her not to worry about it. We appreciated her letting us know. After she left, we went over to the Airbnb and there on the counter was the shattered pot. While there was a very large hole in one side, a large chunk of it was still in one piece. My first thought was to repair it but that lasted about two seconds. My wife Judy and I decided it was best just to let it go.  But then…we looked again.

We discovered that when the pot was laid on its side, it no longer looked like a broken pot but rather an ancient piece of pottery. It was then we moved it to the top shelf, carefully laid it on its side and allowed it to now play a new role. It went from a rather cheap piece of imported pottery to what appeared to be a valuable antique. If my memory serves me right, more than one person has commented on our valuable piece of pottery.

It’s amazing that the pot became more beautiful in its brokenness…something that the Japanese discovered a LONG time ago (late 15th century). They call it kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with gold, making it more beautiful than before. The pieces are carefully put back together and then the cracks are filled with gold or gold paint. Instead of hiding the imperfections, they choose to call attention to it—and it is indeed beautiful.

Now watch this. In a similar way, God’s grace doesn’t just patch up our weaknesses, our brokenness, rather He transforms them into our most compelling testimony. We become; we are trophies of grace. Paul describes it this way in Ephesians 2:6-7, “For He raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with Him in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ Jesus. So, God can point to us in all future ages as examples of the incredible wealth of His grace and kindness toward us.” How about that. For all eternity, God will point to us and declare us trophies of this grace.

So rather than hang your head in shame over your imperfections…embrace them. They’re not flaws to be hidden, but opportunities for God’s power to be displayed. In your weakness, His strength shines brightest. Like the kintsugi, we are testimonies, our stories are stories of His marvelous grace. So, lift your head, child of God, because “He’s got this.”  Bro. Dewayne

Posted in Family, fear, forgiveness, friends, Grace, gratitude, prayer, pride, Scripture, Trials

Travel Light

Posted on by Dewayne Taylor

I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.” Philippians 3:13b

Baggage…it is a fact of travel and a fact of life.  We were leaving for a great adventure—a mission trip to England to work with Africans—go figure. Our team of four checked in at the airport and gladly gave our baggage to the agent at the desk.  One by one, our bags, as varied as the people who packed them, were weighed, and given up.  And honestly, we were glad to do so.  With our baggage handed over, our journey, our travel experience was a lot easier.  When you give your luggage up, you always wonder if you will see it again.  Recently, the airline (at least the one we flew with) sent us a text letting us know everything was safe onboard our plane.  Nice.

Well, we landed in Atlanta and waited just a while and soon it was time to board the plane for our final leg of our journey…the one that would take us all the way to England.  Sure enough, a message let us know our bags were onboard and would make the journey with us.  That is always a good feeling.  A little over seven hours later, it was time to land and sure enough our bags were there, and we took an Uber to the hotel.  Well, the next leg of our journey was by train, so we had to walk a little and take the tube (the British word for the subway—not the sandwich shop) to the train station.  As we left our hotel, we had our first personal experience with our luggage.

You see, this time there was no one to take our luggage—except us. Some of us had smaller bags, some had baggage so large we nick named it “the beast.”  There was a variety of smaller backpacks and whether all of them had wheels or not, they were a necessary hassle.  If it wasn’t for the fact that it is a common sight in London…I’m sure we would have looked quite comical. But we pushed and pulled, lifted, and dragged, squeezed through tight tube gates and balanced all of this on the narrow steps of several escalators.  Oh yes…it was fun.

Well, the good news is, we made it.  We made it all the way to our destination and when the time came, we made it all the way back home…well almost.  Turns out “the beast” got left by the airline in London, but it did arrive several days later.  Because I am a person who likes to prepare, I watched several travel videos to learn about England and how to travel there.  The guy in the video made one point very clear. When you pack, remember that everything you decide to take with you, you will have to push, pull, drag, and carry along the way.  And you know what…he was exactly right.  I was very glad that my bag was one of the smaller and lighter ones (32 pounds, thank you) and my backpack was too. I was glad that at the last minute I did indeed determine I didn’t need the kitchen sink after all!

Well, we all know that baggage is part of the travel deal, but baggage is also part of this journey called life.  Along the way, we pick up things, some of our fault, and some are no fault of our own at all, and we find ourselves dragging them through life.  A difficult childhood, a broken heart, a bad financial decision, or romance decision and on and on it goes.  Baggage…we all have our fair share.  But here is the good news.  It turns out that even if we can’t totally ditch all this unwanted baggage, we can at least lighten the load.  And often, it begins with two small words—letting go.

You see, we can’t undo what others have done to us and short of a miracle we can’t forget either but there is something we can do.  We can choose to refuse to allow the baggage to weigh us down.  We can determine to what extent we give the person or the event space in our lives today.  We can let it go…we can largely leave it behind.  It will probably involve some forgiveness—whether it be someone else—or yourself. I really love the place in the Bible where Paul, who had tons of baggage, some he made and some others gave him, simply says he chose to forget.

Just for the record he wasn’t talking about actually forgetting, but rather choosing not to allow the baggage of the past to control his today. That was something he could do and something we can do.  And when we do…we are going to find out that life is a lot easier when we are not weighed down with yesterday’s baggage.  So, what do you say? Why not let today be the day we drop the bags of the past and sprint toward what lies before?  On our journey, we would sometimes help another person with their bags, and I am glad I can tell you that God is just waiting to help us with our baggage too.  Don’t you worry. He’s got this.  Bro. Dewayne

Posted in Family, forgiveness, Grace, gratitude, life, love, loving others, prayer, Scripture, Trials

Saying No to the Pie

Posted on by Dewayne Taylor

No temptation has come upon you except what is common to humanity. But God is faithful; He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation He will also provide the way out so that you may be able to bear it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13

It is something we know to be true, but boy, do we wrestle with it.  Unless you are one of those incredibly blessed people with a metabolism that operates at warp speed, you know what I am about to write is true. If you eat more calories than you burn, you are going to gain weight. That’s just a fact of life.  Next is the real bummer.  Long after the sweet, wonderful taste of that pecan pie (not a slice—the whole thing) is gone, the weight sticks around.  All my life I have fought the “battle of the bulge” and too often lost. And every time the culprit is the fact that for that moment, taste outweighs (no pun intended) my common sense. I know that if I eat too much of this or that—I will pay the price and the price is always more than the worth of that momentary pleasure. Crazy.

It can all be summed up in a few words—the weight outlasts the dessert. Yup, it is just true and if we are talking just about weight, it is somewhat serious but not disastrous.  Now…instead of weight and dessert let’s talk sin and consequences.  You see just like the weight outlasts the taste, so the guilt and shame of sin lingers long after any sinful pleasure that we may have felt.  I know and you know people today who are still carrying guilt and shame for a poor decision years ago. And sometimes, well, it is more than guilt and shame, it is wounds that haven’t healed and scars that never go away.

The big truth is this…count the cost before you take the bite.  If it is pie…count the cost but if it is the kind of decision that ends marriages and kills careers and character…really, really count the cost. One of the best things we can do is to recognize bad decisions in the windshield and not the rearview mirror.  Put another way—learn to say no and avoid the “oh no.”

One of the great scriptures in the New Testament is found in a letter that Paul had written to the church at Corinth.  You might know that they weren’t known for making good decisions, so it probably is no surprise that Paul gave them this good advice and great truth.  Here it is, “No temptation has come upon you except what is common to humanity. But God is faithful; He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation He will also provide the way out so that you may be able to bear it.” In other words, you are not the first person to be tempted and you won’t be the last.  And, it gets better, God will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able to resist, and the bonus round is that He always provides a way of escape.

With that truth, we know we can say no to the whole pie, say no to a dangerous relationship and say no to whatever Satan throws your way.  We can win because we are winners.  Isn’t that great news? Sometimes the best thing we can do is talk with someone who can help us with our struggles. Well, I know someone who is more than willing to help and that is our Heavenly Father.  Sit down for chat…He’s got this.  Bro. Dewayne

Posted in Family, fear, Grace, gratitude, life, prayer, Scripture, thankful, travel

Fear, the Canoe & Me

Posted on by Dewayne Taylor

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and sound judgment.” 2 Timothy 1:7

It was one great adventure.  Every year, with the exception of last year, our youth pastor takes a group of people to canoe on the Jack’s Fork River in Southern Missouri. Several weeks ago, people were signing up in the foyer after services and something very strange happened.  I spoke.  Well, that in itself was not strange since I often say too much.  But what I said was definitely strange.  I looked at my wife and said, “We should do this.” Of course, she fainted and required CPR, but after reviving her, she signed us up. Now I like adventures, a lot, but I am not a fan of cold water, make that very cold water, canoes, and falling out of a canoe and trying to get back in and the potential for all of that was part of this adventure. But it was too late. We were going.

It is funny how things can grow in your mind.  The more I thought about this the more I was certain this was not going to have a good outcome.  I began to say, half in jest and half believing it, that I was going to die.  I wasn’t sure if the cause of my demise was going to be drowning or heart attack from the cold water, but I was going to die.  As the days passed heading toward the day of the great adventure, the dread became more and more real.

Now, I need to be honest. My fear had nothing to do with the water, cold or not. My greatest fear was embarrassment.  I just knew, given the wobbly nature of a canoe, that we would end up in the water. I was cool with that…no pun intended. The problem was the spectacle of me trying to crawl back into the boat.  I could just imagine my slightly (well, perhaps more than slightly) pudgy body struggling to go over the side and back into the boat.  And, by the way, it was not an unfounded fear.

You see, years ago, at another event at another church, I was on the back of a jet ski with a friend of mine driving.  We were zipping along and then all of a sudden, he was zipping and I wasn’t.  I slid right off the back of that jet ski and right into the water.  Well, he circled back around, and I spent the next two hours (ok, a slight exaggeration there) trying to crawl back onto the jet ski.  And, yes, people were watching and yes, people were laughing, and I was dying…not from drowning but from embarrassment.

Well, here I am years later, and that scar still has all the makings of a fresh wound.  Whenever a situation like that comes around, fear creeps in and I want to run in the opposite direction.  Fear does that, you know.  Fear will cause us to miss a lot of great opportunities, a lot of great adventures, and the crazy part is that the thing we fear often doesn’t materialize or at least isn’t nearly as bad as we thought.  But such is the way of fear.

So, we went and guess what?  We didn’t lose it.  Though several folks ended up in the water, somehow, Judy and I didn’t.  It was probably my well experienced (not) and expert (not) command of the canoe.  Actually, it was no small measure of grace.  Oh, and by the way, while the current did make recovering some of the boats difficult, it wasn’t from the depth of the water.  In most places the water was only a couple of feet deep.  In other words, if we had dumped, I probably could have stepped right back in the boat.  Hmmm…how about that.

If you find yourself facing the unknown or maybe the possibility of reliving a part of your difficult past, don’t assume the same outcome.  And, better than that, remember that the thing we fear is usually not the monster we think it is.  And, better than that, there is a loving Father, who wants to walk with you no matter what.  I love the verse in the Bible that teaches me, that reminds me, that fear doesn’t come from God…it comes from the devil.  The enemy knows fear paralyzes…he knows it causes pain, and he knows he can control us through our fear. But regardless of all that, one thing I do know is that no matter what my fear, my God is bigger than my enemy and because of that I can rest assured that “He’s got this.”  Bro. Dewayne

Posted in Family, fear, forgiveness, Grace, gratitude, life, love, loving others, Scripture, thankful, Trials

Hope

Posted on by Dewayne Taylor

Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace. Your suffering is over.” Mark 5:34

She knew the pain of isolation. For her rejection was a way of life. For twelve years she was alone. For twelve years she felt the pain of rejection. For twelve years she knew nothing but unworthiness. We don’t know her real name. Her condition named her–defined her. She was known as the “woman with an issue of blood.”

That name made her unacceptable in most circles. Church? “So sorry, unworthy.” Her neighborhood? “So sorry, unclean.” Her family? Well, there really wasn’t one that would claim her. Like I said she was an expert at social distancing. No one wanted her. And it hurt. A lot.

It wasn’t that she didn’t try to make things right. Her story is found in Mark 5 and in verse 26 we read, “She had suffered a great deal from many doctors, and over the years she had spent everything she had to pay them, but she had gotten no better. In fact, she had gotten worse.” She so craved an end to this nightmare of loneliness and illness. Her body was worn down by the blood loss and her spirit was worn down by the rejection. She had seen every physician, but the only result was a depleted bank account and a worsening condition. She was at the end. And that is where she found Jesus.

We are not told how she came to know of Jesus, but it was probably word of mouth. Someone said and someone repeated, “Jesus heals people. Jesus touches people…even unworthy people. Jesus accepts people…even people that no one else wants.” She heard a crowd. She saw a crowd and at the middle of this crowd was her only hope.

She weaved her way to the center trying to conceal her face because if they knew who she was, she would quickly be pushed aside. She believed that if she could just touch His robe, she could–she would be healed. Finally, she saw His back and stumbling she touched His robe. Immediately she knew it. Immediately she felt it–it was done. It was over. She was healed.

Jesus knew it too. He felt power leave His body and He asked the crowd, “Who touched me?” The disciples, perhaps with a smile, said, “Lord, you see the crowd. What do you mean who touched you?” But Jesus knew what they didn’t. Someone’s life was changed, and it was her. She, so used to rebuke and rejection, came trembling and confessed, “It was me.” Before she could apologize or explain, He said it.

In verse 34, Jesus says, “Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace. Your suffering is over.” What did He say? Daughter? She had been called unworthy, unclean, unwanted, but “Daughter?” That was a name she had never heard. And He declared an end to her war with suffering. She was made whole. She was accepted. She was clean. Amazing.

It all happened because of a five-letter word. Faith. She believed. Let’s be careful here. She didn’t just believe, she believed in Jesus. It wasn’t just faith, it was faith in Him. You see when we believe there can be hope. But when we choose to believe in Jesus there is healing, there is life, there is rescue.

They parted ways then. There was a twelve-year-old girl who needed to be raised from the dead. She needed her own miracle. But for this woman, life was never the same. Maybe she went home. Maybe she went to the market. Maybe she went to the temple. It doesn’t matter where she went, the stigma was gone. She was no longer called unclean, no longer called unworthy, no longer called unwanted. She had a new name. It was “daughter.”

So how about you? Does this story resonate within you? Are her names… your names? Is her pain …your pain? Why not fight the crowd, break your spiritual social distancing, your isolation, and come to Jesus? And, like her, why not believe? Have the courage to believe that you will find healing and rest in Him. After all, He’s got this. Bro. Dewayne