Tag: words

Posted in Family, friends, Grace, gratitude, life, loving others, priorities, Scripture, sovereignty of God, thankful

Divine Appointments

Posted on by Dewayne Taylor

Brothers, if you have any word of encouragement for the people, come and give it.” Acts 13:15b

It was a divine appointment.  I love when things happen—things that you can spot a mile away as a Divine appointment.  Yesterday I had one and it literally changed the trajectory of my day.  So, I got out of bed, had some coffee and Jesus time and then headed downstairs.  It was a pretty good Jesus time and I could tell. It helped me decide to do the right thing and exercise and make my wife’s day by playing pickle ball. By the way, in case you are wondering, that part was fun even though my body thought otherwise.  Now, back to the God appointment.

I chatted with my wife Judy for a while and told her that I was going walking. She thought that was a good idea.  So, I put on my walking clothes and prepared to head out the door.  I was going to walk to the park, make a lap around the lake and come back. It’s one of my standard and favorite treks. But then it happened. I paused and told Judy, “I think I will walk out on the bike trail and check out the repairs they did on the bridge.” Trust me, the repairs were a good thing—some of the holes were big enough for a small elephant to fall through.  Anyway…so I did. I walked out to the bridge (great job repair guys) and then headed back toward the car and that is where the God moment happened.

As I neared my car, a guy in a truck stopped and rolled down his window. I walked over to the truck, and he began to tell me that he was a regular reader of Grits and how much he appreciated them.  That made my day…but then it got better.  He talked about how he and his girlfriend did devotions together and she would read a devotional and then they would read Grits together.  He was amazed at how often the devotion and Grits would work together to help them through the day.  How cool is that?  But wait…the story went on.  He shared how that he was on a journey to get closer to God and how he often wanted to fix life himself and how hard that was.  I was just nodding my head because that is something I know personally to be true.

You see, I am a fixer too and often, despite my best intentions—I fail, and I was able to share that with my friend. Getting it right can be hard—but then, there is my Dearest Daddy, my Best Friend and the Holy Spirit and they are all helping me, helping us and nudging me and us in the right direction.  I love that.  God (Father, Son Spirit—the Three in One) is working on my behalf.  So quickly, the Divine appointment was over and I’m pretty sure I can say two things.  First, my friend the Grits reader left a little more encouraged. Check.  Second, this Grits writer felt the same.  It made my day…not just that he was a reader, but that Grits was helping him on his journey.  That was incredible.

So, there you go.  A simple decision to walk, to choose the repaired bridge over the park and to walk at the exact time my friend was driving by, they all led to God doing His sweet work.  All of that just confirms what you and I probably know—that no matter what—no matter when—He’s got this.  Bro. Dewayne

Posted in Family, forgiveness, friends, Grace, Integrity, life, loving others, prayer, pride, Scripture, Southern born, Trials, wisdom

Oops, Your Slip is Showing

Posted on by Dewayne Taylor

A good person produces good out of the good stored up in his heart. An evil person produces evil out of the evil stored up in his heart, for his mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart.” Luke 6:45

Honey, your slip is showing. Change is a constant in life, and I vividly recall my mother preparing for church back in the day. During those times, women wore a couple of additional “accessories.” First, she was a devoted user of what I believe were known as girdles – contraptions designed to keep things in check around a lady’s waist. Although I never witnessed her putting one on, I could tell when she was wearing one when I playfully poked her in the side during church. It felt as hard as a rock, suggesting the presence of the infamous “girdle.”

The other item was called a slip. A slip was worn beneath a lady’s dress to prevent anything from being visible through it. My mother was particularly concerned about her slip being visible, emphasizing the importance of keeping it a couple of inches shorter than her dress. Without a full-length mirror, she’d often ask, “Dewayne, is my slip showing?” prompting me to inspect and report. Even in the early years of my marriage, slips were still fashionable, and I’m pretty sure Judy also sought the occasional “slip report.”

Nobody, and I mean nobody, wanted to attend church with their slip showing. It was a social faux pas. However, as time passed, slips fell out of fashion, and with them, the need for slip reports disappeared. Yet, the saying lingers only with a twist. When someone tells you, “Your slip is showing,” it implies that something intended to be hidden is now visible for all to see. This phrase is applicable often in our conversations but even more so in the realm of social media today. Although I am not really a Facebook user myself, I’ve been made aware of the numerous slips on display.

The revelations on Facebook no longer shock me. People seem to blur the line between the privacy of a personal journal and the public nature of Facebook. Hurtful words are carelessly thrown around, much like a bad case of stomach flu. I vividly remember a church member writing un-Jesus like words on Facebook, only to justify it with, “Well, I didn’t know the whole world would see them.” Really? Duh.

So, when we witness unkindness on social media, perhaps it’s time to adopt a gentle approach and say, “Excuse me, but your slip is showing.” Unleashing unkind words is never justified. Momma used to say, “If you can’t say something nice…don’t say anything at all”.  She was always smart. So, whether following the golden rule of saying something nice or abiding by Jesus’ wisdom that words reveal the heart, the message is clear – choose kindness.

In the secular world, unkindness is sometimes almost expected but for followers of Jesus, such behavior is labeled as sin, irrespective of justifications. Instead of expressing displeasure with someone, why not try praying? God is always receptive to sincere prayers, and you won’t find yourself being told, “Your slip is showing.”

I admit, I’m someone who occasionally speaks without thinking, but I’m learning to hit the pause button. As they say, the older you get, the more you lose your filter. Uttering and writing things that are unkind or just not right may lead to regret and the need to apologize to God. Let’s start an “Excuse me, but your slip is showing” campaign – a subtle way of letting someone know that their communication, whether on social media or spoken, is, shall we say, embarrassing. They might not appreciate it now, but perhaps they will later. And if, like me, you struggle with putting your foot in your mouth, ask God for help. He’s got this. Bro. Dewayne

Posted in Family, forgiveness, friends, Grace, Integrity, life, loving others, prayer, Scripture, thankful, Trials

A Thing Called Tripe

Posted on by Dewayne Taylor

“The one who reveals secrets is a constant gossip; avoid someone with a big mouth.” Proverbs 20:19

The more I chewed the bigger it got.  I have lots of food memories from growing up.  First you need to remember that I was born in the South and folks from the South have a whole different way of eating.  And trust me…that means it was good…mostly.  I can remember fried chicken Sunday dinners with green beans and mashed potatoes…the kind that didn’t come from a box but from a real potato.  A lot of Sundays we had pot roast with those same yummy potatoes and green beans. And “dinner on the grounds” at church was a potluck straight from heaven.

My Momma was the biscuit queen.  You can’t imagine how good they were hot out of the oven.  While we did occasionally have dessert we really didn’t need it.  We would just take one of mama’s biscuits, slather it with butter and then pour cane syrup all over it.  Shoot-that-thing! You don’t know good if you’ve never had homemade biscuits and cane syrup.  Now with all that said, there were a few things we had that were a bit—different.

I remember I decided to try something new with peanut butter. It could have been that we were out of jelly but anyway I got the mayonnaise out of the refrigerator, smeared it on some bread and then loaded on the peanut butter.  Bam…just like that a new delicacy was born.  That became one of my favorites for years.  One day, though,  I had one and then got the stomach flu and well, we parted ways. No pun intended.

We didn’t have a whole lot of candy growing up and I’ve always had a sweet tooth.  Somewhere along the journey I discovered the sugar bowl.  Did you know you can get a teaspoon full of sugar and put it in your mouth and it tastes like a candy bar?  Well, it probably didn’t taste like a Snickers, but it was plenty sweet.  You know what they say, “Necessity is the mother of invention.”

School lunches were always an adventure.  There were deviled egg sandwiches (awesome), deviled egg sandwiches with potted meat mixed in (not so awesome), potted meat sandwiches without deviled eggs (yuk) and finally Vienna sausages (uh, well, somewhat good).  You just never knew what mom was going to put in the lunch bag.  My all-time favorite was and is pimento cheese.  And then there was—tripe.

Tripe wasn’t a lunch item, it was always for supper.  Some of you may not have discovered the wonder of tripe or even know what it is.  Well, for those of you who don’t know tripe is cow’s stomach.  Yup and let me just tell you it was an experience.  It always smelled great cooking but eating it was a real challenge.  Mama usually cut it up in pretty small pieces but you still had to get a sharp knife to get it down to bite size.  Now tripe was…chewy.  In fact, tripe was very chewy.  Which is why it never made it into the lunch bag—it took two hours to eat one small piece.  You see, the more you chewed it, the bigger it got! 

I’ve heard it said that celery is one of those negative calorie foods…it actually takes more calories to chew it and digest it then are in the food itself.  I think tripe must be one of those also.  In fact, I am sure there is a tripe diet somewhere out there.  You take a bite, chew for two hours and bam…lose two pounds.  Good, ole, tripe.  The supper of champions.

Did you know that tripe and gossip are first cousins?  No really. You mutter a few words about your friend and before you know it, you have yourself a belly full of trouble. Those few hurtful words just get bigger and more hurtful each time they are repeated. Feelings get hurt, relationships are broken and talk about a belly ache…oh yeah.  While the Bible doesn’t say much about tripe it does say a lot about gossip.  One of my favorites is Proverbs 20:19, “The one who reveals secrets is a constant gossip; avoid someone with a big mouth.”  How’s that for being straight to the point?

One of the best ways to avoid gossip is to remember a couple of things.  If the person you are telling isn’t part of the problem…don’t say it. Also, if you wouldn’t say something to a person’s face you shouldn’t share it behind their back.  Now the problem is, most of us just love a good piece of juicy gossip.  The Bible says, “A gossip’s words are like choice food that goes down to one’s innermost being.” That might be true but I know one more thing about tripe.  If it gets stuck in your throat you are in deep weeds.  That choice piece of gossip can get stuck too, and can cause heart breaking consequences.

Well, I gave up tripe a long time ago.  I guess I had enough when I was a kid.  I wish I could say I have totally given up gossip the same way.  I have found out given half-a-chance I can find myself saying, “Hey, did you hear…” and that tripe-like-sin is right back in my mouth.  We just need to be careful to keep it out of our mouth.  The good news is Jesus is more than willing to help if you ask.  He can handle all kind of things whether it be a tough piece of tripe stuck in the wrong place or a juicy piece of gossip right on your lips.  Just ask Him.  He will help…cause He’s got …even this.  Bro. Dewayne

Posted in Family, forgiveness, friends, Grace, Integrity, life, loving others, Scripture, Trials

Windshields and Words

Posted on by Dewayne Taylor

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Ephesians 4:29

Go figure.  It was about five years ago when it happened.  I was driving back from Evansville, Indiana and there was a school bus coming toward me. Of course, I didn’t think a thing about it…school busses come and go all the time.  Well, this one had a surprise waiting for me. Just about the time we met, in opposite lanes, of course, something came flying out of the bus.  To this day I don’t know what it was but whatever it was…it was big and heavy. It hit my windshield near the bottom and shattered it there.  In fact, it was so heavy, that it almost broken all the way through…there was even glass on my dash.

Well, needless to say, I was shocked.  I really wasn’t sure what had happened but it scared the pants off of me.  But then, I smiled.  You see when I bought the car it was, of course, used and the windshield had a couple of obvious defects.  First, it looked like it had been sandblasted and was covered with a zillion small pits.  Second, the top of the windshield was a medium to dark blue.  The deal had placed on those stickers on the outside and it stayed on long enough to leave a permanent oval-shaped shadow.  Being a perfectionist, both of these drove me nuts.

I wanted to replace the windshield but just couldn’t bring myself to do it and then when “it” happened, it was replaced courtesy of the insurance company…and that was why I smiled.  Oh, I guess I wish it hadn’t happened but since it did, I was grateful for the new windshield. 

The company did a great job installing the new glass and asked me to leave a review for their small town company…so I did.  Well, this week I received an email from my friends at Google congratulating me on the fact that over five hundred people had read my review and found it helpful.  Now who would have thought at a small town business that so many people would have read and reacted to my review.  It made me realize just how powerful and far reaching our words can be.

The Jesus part of the Bible, the New Testament, talks a lot about our words…mostly encouraging us to be careful what we say.  Long before Google, Jesus and the rest of the guys who wrote the New Testament realized the importance and power of words.  The bottom line was and is…be careful with what you say…it carries more impact than you realize.  Someone said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” It is a nice saying but simply not true.  Words can hurt a lot…trust me I know.

Paul said when he was writing to the church in Ephesus, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” What great advice.  That review, depending on what I said, had the power to help or hurt and so do our words.  Let’s choose our words carefully.  If you find yourself at a loss of words—well, just asked the greatest Word Crafter ever…God…as always, “He’s got this.”

Posted in forgiveness, friends, Grace, gratitude, life, love, loving others, Scripture, thankful, Trials

I Saw the Light and Nothing Else

Posted on by Dewayne Taylor

Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before His eyes, and He is the one to whom we are accountable.” Hebrews 4:13

I saw the light…I really did.  You know there are some songs that stay forever young in church.  I know in our church, you crank up, “I’ll Fly Away” and just about everyone gets fired up and joins in.  Well, the other day we sang another one of those “forever young” songs. I was teaching about Jesus being the light of the world and our worship guy led us in a rousing rendition of “I Saw the Light.” This gospel and country classic was written by Hank Williams Sr. way back in 1948 and has been recorded by many artists.  It is just a good one.

Well, the other day, you might say that I saw the light.  I was speaking at Priority, a statewide event for ladies from the Illinois Baptist State Association and it happened there. As I walked up on stage, the house lights were already dimmed down and there were four very, very bright stage lights letting their light shine.  Now I teach every week somewhere and never have I seen brighter lights.  What was so amazing is that I couldn’t see one face in the crowd.  I knew they were out there—they were an enthusiastic bunch—but all I could see was the lights.  It really was kinda funny.  I felt like I was speaking to a totally dark room—but that wasn’t the case.

During the next general session, it was my turn to be a participant in the audience.  So, I joined my wife and a several ladies from our church and we worshipped and sang.  Finally, it was time for the featured speaker to speak.  She came out on the stage and there she was for everyone to see.  Then, I looked around at the audience and realized that the room wasn’t totally dark, it was just the lights shining on the stage were so bright.  The bottom line is they could see me, and they could see each other—but the speaker—nada, none, zero. I was amazed and I knew somewhere in all of that there had to be lesson, there had to be a truth. And then it came to me.

I realized that sometimes we can be blinded by life and yet all around us everyone else sees clearly.  Sometimes we are blinded by our own sin, or circumstances, or desires. When that happens, we will find it is very difficult to make a good decision because of our blindness.  And sometimes we assume that because we can’t see—others can’t see us.  Surprise, surprise, surprise.  Guess what? They can.  And wait—there’s more.  Even if we can hide from others we cannot hide from God.  Listen to this truth found in Hebrews 4:13. It says, “Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before His eyes, and He is the one to whom we are accountable.”

Wait. What? Does that mean He saw, He heard, He witnessed that thing you thought no one saw, no one heard, no one witnessed.  Does that mean that what we thought was secret…wasn’t…isn’t?  That is exactly what it means.  Honestly, that is just a hair frightening. What this means is that we really need to be careful with all our actions, words and even thoughts.  Trust me on this one…blinded it or not…we are fully exposed.

I really was surprised to experience this brilliant blindness…caused not by darkness but by light.  I was also surprised to find out that though I was blind…no one else was.  Talk about a wakeup call!  I have learned over the past three years as we have shared together through Grits that there is one thing that no longer surprises me.  Can you guess what it is?  Yup, you are right, “He’s got this.”  Bro. Dewayne

Posted in Family, forgiveness, friends, Grace, gratitude, life, love, Scripture, thankful, Trials

Braces Not Dentures

Posted on by Dewayne Taylor

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns. See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the everlasting way.” Psalm 139:23-24

Dentures…not exactly what I meant to say.  So as a public speaker I have had plenty, and I do mean plenty, of misspeaks. Since I wasn’t sure misspeak was a word and given today’s story, I decided to check it.  Yup…it is a word and yup…it sure does fit.  A misspeak is when you fail to express yourself insufficiently, clearly, or accurately.  They probably invented that word just for me—or at least people like me.  My most famous misspeak will remain a guarded secret.  Even though it happened very publicly I would rather it not be shared again publicly until my funeral.

Misspeaks can be quite funny.  I had so many at a church I previously pastored that when it was time to move on, they came up with a book of “Dewayne-isms.” And fortunately for me most of mine have been funny…just like the one that prompted this story.  I was speaking about the fact that Jesus told His followers up front that a life that included following Him was going to be hard.  He put it like this, “In this world you will have trouble.  But be of good cheer because I have overcome the world.”  There you go…crystal clear.  Too often though you will hear Christian speakers making some pretty big promises on God’s behalf. It usually includes the fact that if we choose to follow Jesus…the rewards are enormous. It is about then that I list a few.  They usually include things like you will never get sick. You will always have a job and never lose said job.  Every promotion at that job is a guaranteed thing and on and on and on.

Right before I end the list, I always throw the kids in.  They will all be handsome and attractive, be superstar athletes and never, ever need braces.  Well, that is what I meant to say but instead of saying braces, I said dentures. So flying out of mouth came, “And your kids will never need dentures.” Ok, I know and you know that dentures is not even close to braces so where it came from…who knows?  But it took about one second for the crowd to catch it and have a good laugh.  Of course I corrected it right away and even added a bit to add to the unexpected humor. We all had a good laugh, and I can only imagine the next time braces or dentures come up in a conversation, someone just might say, “I remember when…”

Misspeaks—it is a love/hate relationship and as I said often quite funny…until it isn’t.  I suppose you, like me, have said things we wish we hadn’t.  It’s the kind of thing that happens when you say something and you instantly wish it hadn’t.  It’s the kind of thing that we call a slip of the tongue but then you wonder, “Where did that come from anyway?”  And these misspeaks can sometimes leave a scar—the size of Texas.  Jesus said one time that these kind of misspeaks come from the heart. He said, “It is out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.”  He was saying that often our words reveal what is lurking in the heart.

Now these are not the funny things we say like dentures and braces, no, these are those unkind and hurtful things we say about people…even those and often those…close to us. Typical topics can include weight, appearance, fashion, cooking, housekeeping, oh, and the need for dentures…I mean braces.  You might be wondering, “How do I prevent these things from happening?”  Well, speaking of housecleaning, maybe we need to do some “heart-cleaning.”  The best way to keep the tongue under control is to keep our heart under control. There is a scripture in the Old Testament that says, “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns. See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the everlasting way.”

Boom…there you go.  We need to ask God to give us a day-by-day heart checkup and if He finds anything that doesn’t belong there…ask Him to take care of it.   Often that will include leading you down a different path…a better path…a right path.  One thing I have learned about God is that He really does want to help us do the right thing…including managing our hurtful misspeaks.  If you are like me and sometimes struggle with what you say, just ask and He will help you…every time…anytime.  He’s got this.  Bro. Dewayne

Posted in Christmas, Family, fear, forgiveness, gratitude, Holidays, life, love, loving others, Scripture, Southern born, thankful, Trials

Gifts and Lizards

Posted on by Dewayne Taylor

Love keeps no record of wrongs.” 1 Corinthians 13:5b

It was a lizard but when you’re eight—it’s a dinosaur.  Growing up in North Florida, which is a somewhat, semi-tropical area, there were always all kinds of insects and reptiles to watch or capture.  One of these was a small lizard…a sort of dinosaur in miniature.  It seemed they were everywhere.  Sometimes they were brown and sometimes they were green but always they stirred my imagination and when that happened, they were always bigger and more vicious than they were in reality. But it is amazing what an eight-year-old mind can come up with when he has too much time on his hands. I know I captured more than a few…usually by grabbing them by their tail.  I was always amazed when their tail broke off and while he managed to scurry away, his tail remained…still wiggling.  I later learned that their tail would slowly grow back, and I guess I’m glad they did.

As I grew older, it seems the lizards got smaller and soon became a sense of novelty and nothing more. Gone was the fear of what they could do to me as I realized what I could do to them.  I’ve found out that not only applies to lizards but memories from days gone by. About the time I was chasing lizards and yet being a little fearful…something happened.  It was Christmas time and as the day approached, I knew I didn’t have anything to give to my Momma. Poking around the house, I discovered a plastic flower arrangement sitting in the corner of the breezeway that connected our house and a garage turned into a bedroom.  Partly out of desperation and party through the eyes of an eight-year-old, I decided I would wrap the well-worn and faded flowers and give them to my Momma for Christmas.  So, I put them in a box, wrapped it all up and put it under the tree.

Christmas morning came and as was tradition, we all gathered in the living room as the presents were handed out and I watched as Momma was handed the box and unwrapped it.  Probably speaking to no one in particular, I heard her say, “Well, these are just those old flowers from the porch.” I was devastated. I knew it wasn’t much but I was hoping that something ordinary would be magically transformed by Christmas.  Now, let’s be clear.  Momma wasn’t being mean or hurtful.  Her words that day were just a statement of fact, and she might probably was not aware I had heard them…but I had…and a scar was born.

For years and years, I carried those words in my heart…and with them came the rejection that only an insecure eight-year-old can feel.  A few words casually spoken left a wound that for years refused to heal.  Listen, I know my Momma and I know she loved me but sometimes the best of us can utter words that get stuck in our memories and like those lizards…seem to grow into monsters.  Probably all of us have them…probably all of us have said them…probably all of us regret saying them.

I can’t remember if I ever told Momma about that Christmas and those words, but I can tell you it is no longer a deal.  Yes, there is a small scar on my heart, but that scar reminds me of something important.  Scars are wounds that have healed.  As I grew older, I was able to let go of the hurt because I grew to understand that no matter what words she spoke that day, her actions over the years more than proved her love.  If nothing else, those words remind me that she wasn’t perfect…just like me, just like you and just like the last person who wounded us.

Remember this.   Christmas is about love and love is about forgiveness.  My favorite verse in 1 Corinthians 13 reminds me that “love keeps no record of wrongs.”  It turns out that love makes choices possible.  We get to choose what to do with the things that are tossed into our laps.  We get to choose what we do when someone else’s mess gets sloshed on us.  I’ve learned I can’t control others; I can’t always control the circumstances around me; but I can always control my response…and that is important.

So about sixty Christmas’s have come and gone.  Momma is long in heaven, and I am grateful that I can sit and click keys on my keyboard and smile at all the precious memories I treasure in my heart.  And some of those memories that used to be dragons are now simply little lizards.  In case you are wondering how that works…well once you’ve experienced God’s grace and His forgiveness…it is a no brainer.  After all, He’s got this. Bro. Dewayne

Posted in Family, food, forgiveness, Grace, gratitude, life, love, loving others, Scripture, thankful

Dessert or Desert

Posted on by Dewayne Taylor

By this everyone will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:35

Hmmm…I said.  I like to talk, and I guess it can be said I like to write.  When I write I love to use words in special ways.  One of those is playing words off one another—using the same word in the same sentence in a different way. I’ve found that I often bump into words that can dramatically change in meaning by changing just one letter.  Here’s an example. First, we have the word dessert.  Now this is one of my favorite words because of all the images that pop into my mind.  In one corner of my brain, a picture of a perfectly prepared pecan pie appears.  Over in another corner is my daughter’s apple crumb pie.  Oh my, is that good!  Wait, over there is my friend Maggie’s fried pecan pies. And then over there is the dessert display case at my favorite local restaurant.  It is filled with pies, cakes, cookies and cream horns.

Well, now that we are all drooling you can almost taste the word dessert.  Even if you are not a fan of sweets, surely it stirred your heart a little.  Now we are going to change just one small letter.  Are you ready?  We are going to go from dessert to desert.  Wait? What?  Yup, just remove one of the “s” in the word and we go from sweets heaven to the Sahara.  We go from visions of sugar plums dancing in our heads to sand…lots of sand.  Now we are not thinking about pleasure but rather pain.  There is not abundance…there is leanness. Just like the word dessert makes our mouth water…desert makes us thirsty.  And it all happens with just one small letter.

What is true with words is also true about birds.  I was reading the other day and it talked about two different kind of birds.  Even though they are radically different, the bottom line is they are still both birds.  Both defy gravity and fly and both have feathers.  One is one (there’s that play on words) of the smallest birds in the world and the other is one of the larger ones. One is tiny and cute and the is large and ugly.  One is a hummingbird and the other is a vulture. Both birds…but both miles apart…just like our words dessert and desert.

One of the ways the birds are different is their eating habits.  The hummingbird spends it’s time zipping around our yard, going from feeder to feeder and flower to flower looking for “dessert.” Their diet consists of nothing but something sweet—nectar.  The vulture, on the other hand, soars overhead.  He could care less about something sweet—he is looking for his next meal too but his is a “desert” or to put it plainly…something dead.  Both are birds, but both are entirely different.  Their differences may seem big, but really they are not.  You might say they are separated by a letter or two.

You know, that is true about us.  We really aren’t that different and yet…we are.  Each one of us is uniquely made by God.  You might say we are each handcrafted by the Master craftsman of it all.  An old children’s song that used to float around the Christian music world said, “Look all the world over, there’s no one like me…no one like me.  Look all the world over, there’s no one exactly like me.” God made each one of us different…on purpose.  What a boring world it would be if we were all the same.

Now my intention when I started writing this story was to say how in our world we should be more like the hummingbird and look for sweetness than the vulture who looks for death and decay.  But as I wrote I realized the bigger truth is that we should just be who we are…and allow others to do the same. Skin color, economic status, music tastes, piercings and tats or not…we are all uniquely made.  I wonder how much better the world would be if we learned to love one another.  I mean after all, the biggest sign that a person is a Jesus follower is not if we go to church but if we love other people.  How about that?

So the next time you are in a bakery…or your backyard…remember that we aren’t as different as we seem.  Rather than judge and criticize, why not go ahead and see people as creations of God. After all,…the Bible does say He loved everybody enough to send His Son to die on a Roman cross…everybody.  And if you happen to know that story…then be sure and spread it around.  It is the best news ever.  And while you’re chatting with that person, be sure and let them know that there is Someone who, no matter what, has it under control.  Tell them that, “He’s got this…no matter what this or that is.”  Bro. Dewayne

Posted in Family, forgiveness, friends, Grace, life, love, loving others, Scripture, thankful, Trials

Not a Good Night

Posted on by Dewayne Taylor

Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18

There is pain and then there is pain. We know that some people can be a pain in the neck…or worse. We also know about different levels of pain. There is the pain a woman must bear to bring a new life into the world.  There is the pain that a person endures when they have a kidney stone.  There is the pain of being hit by a semi-truck going sixty-five miles an hour.  And then there is the pain I experienced the other night.

My wife Judy and I go to bed at different times, but we are usually within a few minutes of each other.  So, it is not uncommon for one or the other to walk into a dark room.  It’s not a big deal, really, because we have a light in the hallway that casts a little light into the dark room.  And perhaps that is the reason we do it.  “It” is we put a small pillow or some other something in the doorway to keep the door from closing all the way.  It is more a habit than anything though in the summer it ensures good air circulation. And that night, it was a setup for a painful good night.

Judy was in bed and the room was dark.  Uncharacteristically, the door was closed all the way so when I entered the room I couldn’t see very well. I knew she was still awake, so I asked her, “Where’s the pillow?” It was understood I wasn’t talking about the one for our heads but the one for the door.  I believe she responded, “I don’t know.”  Well, I looked in the dimly lit one side of the room and could see it wasn’t there.  So, I began to walk over to the dark side of room and that, dear friends, is when it happened.

As I walked over, in the dark, to look for the pillow that should have been in the doorway, I hit…no, I sledgehammered, my shin and foot into the end of the bed frame. Let me explain.  Our bed frame is designed so you can attach a footboard if you want to.  Well, a long time ago we wanted to and then one day we removed it because we didn’t want to.  That left the bracket just sitting there waiting to cause pain. Part of the bracket got my foot and part of it got my shin. And when flesh collided with iron…it hurt, and it hurt bad.

I’ve never had a baby, but I have had several kidney stones.  I’ve never been slammed by a semi-truck going sixty-five, but I am almost certain that none of that hurt as bad as my shin and foot did.  I hollered…maybe even screamed! I hollered, well, I’ve already said that, and then I blamed…not me, not the iron frame but poor Judy.  My pain filled logic was it had to be her fault because she didn’t put the pillow in the door. Well, I did find the stinking pillow and I did put it in the stinking door. And I did one more thing.

As my shin and foot throbbed, as Judy apologized for what clearly wasn’t her fault and as she prayed for God to take the pain away…I realized I needed to apologize…and I did.  It was all fine in a few minutes as we drifted off to sleep…gratefully not mad.  Well, the next morning I looked at the wounds again and there was two gashes and one bruise. Ouch.  Did I mention a semi-truck doing sixty-five miles an hour or having a baby?  Judy stuck her head in the room a little later and I showed her the bruise and apologized one more time for good measure…and I meant it.

This unfortunate encounter caused me to realize that we must be careful about pain. You see, whether it is emotional or physical, when we are filled with pain we can say or do things we later regret.  Someone said that hurt people hurt people. I know that is mostly speaking of emotional pain and scars, but it is also true when our foot and shin are sledgehammered into the bed frame. In addition to fixing or removing the problem, we need to plan, to practice how we are going to respond when pain walks into the room—or we walk into pain. We need to plan, or practice hitting the pause button or yanking on the emergency brake of our words. If we do maybe, we will stop before we let our hurt—hurt others.

Solomon, one of the wisest men to ever live, wrote in Proverbs, “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Those are certainly wise words from a very wise man, but it is encouraging to know that even he didn’t always get it right. And guess what? Despite our best efforts, we won’t either.  But the good news is that when we don’t there is a graceful God who’s just waiting to forgive us and help us.  So, the next time you run into pain, hang on–He’s got this. Bro. Dewayne

Posted in Family, forgiveness, friends, Grace, Integrity, life, love, loving others, Scripture, Southern born, thankful, Trials, wisdom

Your Slip is Showing

Posted on by Dewayne Taylor

A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.” Luke 6:45

Pardon me, but your slip is showing.  Change is everywhere.  I can well remember my Momma getting dressed for church.  In those day she always wore a couple of extra “accessories.”  First, she was a big fan of what I guess was called a girdle.  As I remember, these things were designed to hold things in place around a lady’s waist.  I never saw Momma put one on, but I know she wore one.  How?  When we were sitting in church, I would get bored and start doing “things.”  Things are anything that helped me pass the time.  So, I would poke my Momma in the side, only to find that it was hard as a rock.  As impenetrable as the Great China Wall, there was something firming things up.  I suspect it was “the girdle.”

The other thing was something called a slip.  As best as I could tell it was worn under a lady’s dress to ensure that nothing was seen through.  Now I know more about this because my Momma always wanted to be sure her slip wasn’t showing.  It was important to have the slip shorter than your dress by a couple of inches.  Well, since she couldn’t see behind her (we didn’t have a full-length mirror), she would say, “Dewayne, is my slip showing?”  I would get behind her and give her the report.  I think in our early years of marriage, slips were still in vogue.  I’m pretty sure Judy asked me to give her the “slip” report too.

Nobody, and I mean nobody, wanted to get to church and have their slip showing.  How many times did we get somewhere public and there in front of us would be a lady with her slip showing? Momma would sadly shake her head and say, “Oh my, her slip is showing.  She should have had someone check.”  Well, some time ago slips went out of vogue and so also went the way of the slip report.  No slip…no report.  But the saying still lingers.

When you hear someone say, “Your slip is showing.” it means that something they intended, or perhaps should have intended, to be hidden is there for everyone to see. Well, here’s a news flash.  Someone needs to tell everyone that their “slip” is showing in social media.  Now I am not a social media person.  I use it to post Grits, to make a couple of church announcements and wish people happy birthday.  But beyond that, it just isn’t my thing.  But even with that limited exposure, and thanks to folks who sometimes tell me what they see, well, there are a lot of “slips” showing.

I’ve almost stopped being shocked at what people write on social media.  It seems people confuse the privacy of their journal with things like Facebook.  Things that should never be written or spoken spew on the pages like a bad case of the stomach flu.  Hurtful, painful words too often fill the screen of our devices.  I remember one time a lady who attended our church at the time wrote some very un-Jesus like words.  I asked her about it, and she said, “Well, I didn’t know the whole world would see them.” What? Duh?”

So, I think when we see someone being unkind and harsh in social media we should just say, “Pardon me, but your slip is showing.”  Now “showing your slip” with unkind words is never right.  You know your Momma taught you, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”  Well, Jesus gives us another perspective and warning.  He tells us that out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.  In other words, what comes out of our mouth is simply revealing what is in our hearts. And if hurtful, unkind, and sometimes untrue words flow from our mouths, or our fingers, according to Jesus, it is just revealing what is in our hearts.

I know, if you aren’t a Jesus follower that doesn’t make a lot of sense but hey, kindness is really in vogue these days even in the secular world.  It might be selective kindness, but it is there.  Now, if you are a Jesus follower, God gives us a word for this kind of practice.  It is called sin.  No matter the circumstances or the way we attempt to justify it, it is sin.  If you feel the need to express your displeasure with someone, why not try praying.  God is always up for an authentic prayer on behalf of someone and you also won’t be surprised to hear “your slip is showing.”

I happen to be one of those people who too often speaks without thinking but I am learning to hit the pause button.  They say the older you get the more you lose your filter. You say things…and write things…that are just not right, or kind or both.  Then, you end up telling God you are sorry and experiencing that regret thing.  Of course, you may not have any remorse…and that is the saddest of all.

So, what do you say?  Let’s start a “Pardon me, your slip is showing” campaign.  It is a gentle way of letting someone know that their communication, whether it be social media or spoken, shall we say, is embarrassing. They may not thank you now but maybe, just maybe, they will later.  And if you are like me and sometimes wrestle with putting your mouth in gear when you shouldn’t, ask God to help.  He will, trust me.  This is a big deal to Him.  The good news is that like everything, “He’s got this.” Bro. Dewayne