Posted in Family, friends, Grace, gratitude, heaven, life, love, loving others, priorities, Scripture, thankful, Trials

Taking Care of Family

If you help the poor, you are lending to the Lord—and He will repay you!” Proverbs 19:17

I know I didn’t know them…but I felt I did. As a pastor I occasionally receive a call from either a funeral home or a family that has experienced the loss of a loved one and they don’t have a pastor that can help them.  Well, that happened recently.  A mother had died and her sister, on behalf of the family, contacted me.  Could I help them?  I agreed but I had a request.  I try and make every service personal and special and since I didn’t know her or the family, I asked they provide some personal memories of their mom.  Graciously they did, and in so doing they painted a picture.

She and her husband were blessed with five children—a challenge and a blessing. As they sent the comments to the sister and then to me, it became painfully apparent that life had been financially hard.  Their mother had worked at a local manufacturing plant but was constantly being laid off.  When she was, she worked as a cook at one of the local restaurants.  It finally reached the point where the inconsistency of the one job made the other more attractive and she began working all the time at the restaurant.

She appreciated the consistency of the restaurant job, but it made for an even tighter budget at home.  I was moved by the comments of each one of her children.  They were so appreciative for a Momma that did everything possible to provide for them.  They spoke of gratitude for a roof over their heads, food for their stomach, and heat in the winter.  One spoke of the fact that regardless of the fact that Momma and the family were broke, somehow, someway, she made sure there were presents at Christmas and on their birthdays. That meant a lot to me.

At the service I rhetorically asked, “What does success mean?” It was one of those questions that I didn’t expect an answer…but I got one.  Quietly, one of her sons said, “Being comfortably full.” When he said that it moved me…it still moves me.  In a world where it seems everyone one has so much, in this family’s world abundance was a roof, some heat, food for their stomach and on a real good day, being comfortably full.

After hearing from her son, I went on to say that to me success is owning the things that money can’t buy…the things that don’t come from Walmart or some other store.  Success is five kids who at their Momma’s funeral talk about the sacrifices she made, the hard work she did to make sure they had a roof over their head, some heat, and food in their stomachs.  I then read a story paragraph that someone wrote about success.  It said, “What is success? Success is living well, laughing often, and loving much. Success is gaining the respect of those who know us best; finding and living our purpose and leaving our world better than we found it.” I finished that service in deep appreciation of a 72-year-old mother who did that and so much more.  She gave her five kids a home.

I’ve written several times that money was pretty thin when we were growing up, but I am sure we had more than this family and these kids.  I’ve written before how much I appreciated the fact that Momma and Daddy always made Christmas and birthdays happen.  It may have been courtesy of the local finance company, but it happened.  Now I am reminded that there were and are plenty of people where even that would not have been an option but somehow—they make it happen.

So, I’m just writing to say thank-you to someone I never knew—but felt I did.  I want to say thank-you to five grown up now kids who taught me to appreciate even more deeply what my Momma and Daddy did. They too made it happen whether it was a roof over our heads, or fuel oil in our kerosene tank or food on the table.  Let me encourage you to take the opportunity to thank the ones who made it happen in your life—whether it was years ago or yesterday.  Maybe take the time to whisper a prayer of gratitude for those in your family—or maybe even outside your family—that made it happen.

Maybe, just maybe, you can be one that helps make it happen.  Maybe you know someone who could use a little help.  Maybe God has given you a little more so you can share with those who have a little less. Proverbs 19:17 says, “If you help the poor, you are lending to the Lord—and He will repay you!” I like that.  When we share, we are being the hands and feet of Jesus and that is always a good thing.  You may be the one that your Dearest Daddy uses to whisper in someone else’s ear—someone who is struggling to make it happen.  And what is whispering? “I’ve got this.” Bro. Dewayne

Posted in Family, friends, gratitude, heaven, life, prayer, Scripture, thankful, travel

And They Sang

The heavens declare the glory of God, and the expanse proclaims the work of His hands. Day after day they pour out speech; night after night they communicate knowledge.” Psalm 19:1-2

I think He was just showing off.  In one of our more creative moments, either my wife Judy or I thought it would be a great idea to take a little overnighter for Valentine’s Day.  So, we did.  There is place called Camp Ondessonk about 24 miles from our house.  They have a great cabin there and we decided to rent it for Friday night.  Now when I say cabin don’t think like rustic and primitive…think nice…like nicer than a Holiday Inn.  Well, we made a day of it.  First, we drove a couple of hours to a very special restaurant and had a great lunch.  Then we drove up to Paducah for a quick visit with one of the kids and their kids.  It was a great time.

Finally, it was time head to the camp and our cabin.  I have to admit I was a bit reluctant at first because it was a little pricy and I said to myself, “Self, it can’t be that nice.”  Well, once again, I was wrong because it really was…nice. We settled in and watched a little television.  Yes, they even had internet and television…I was just hoping for running water and indoor plumbing.  After a while, Judy said she was going to go out and check out the stars.  It was already below freezing and at first, I thought she had dropped a couple of her marbles.  Mark it down…wrong twice.

In a few minutes, she came back in and said, “Dewayne, you have to come outside and see this.  The stars are brighter than Africa.”  Now, I realize you probably haven’t been to Africa and looked up at the stars on a clear night.  They are so amazing I figured there was at least a possibility that she was exaggerating…just a little bit.  I slipped on my shoes and joined her on the deck.  She was right.  Without much light pollution, the stars were literally breathtaking. Imagine a field of diamonds, of every color of white and blue and all of different caret sizes. Now, imagine again and again and again. It was wonderful.

Well, we finally went back inside but before bedtime we wandered out one more time.  It seemed we couldn’t get enough of God’s wonder show.  Finally, it was bedtime and since we were in the middle of nowhere, Judy suggested we raise the blinds in the bedroom.  We did and lying there in bed we had a front row seat to the show all over again.  I just knew we were going to see a falling star or two but we didn’t but that was ok because the razzle, dazzle of the stars was more than enough.  All through the night, when I woke up to roll over, there they were shouting, singing, and showing the glory of God.

I know I might overuse this verse in Grits but this time, well, it is just so appropriate not to.  In the Old Testament part of the Bible, Psalms19:1-2, it says, “The heavens declare the glory of God, and the expanse proclaims the work of His hands. Day after day they pour out speech; night after night they communicate knowledge.” I have long loved that verse but after Friday I not only love it, but I also more fully understand it.  There before my eyes was part of God’s creation and their job was simply to proclaim His glory and they did it well…very well.

Judy and I are already planning another trip to one of our new favorite places. I sure hope when we go the skies are once again clear so God’s starry sky can once again proclaim His glory.  Lee Ann Womack sings a song about creation and God.  In that song she sings, “There is a God, there is a God, there is a God…how much proof do you need?  Well, I don’t know about you, but Friday night was enough for me.  Let me encourage you to go and find a good dark place the next time the skies are crystal clear.  Then…look up.  And if the world is dark enough you will see the choir singing about Him and then do two things.  First, remember He who made that made you and loves you immensely.  Second, remember and never forget that no matter what we are facing, He is bigger, and He’s got this. Bro. Dewayne

Posted in Family, friends, Grace, gratitude, heaven, life, love, loving others, prayer, priorities, Scripture, Southern born, sovereignty of God, thankful, Trials, wisdom

Not Bad, Just Hard

I am the Way, the Truth and the Life.  No one comes to the Father, but by Me.” Jesus in John 14:6

It was Monday…and my brother died. It wasn’t a total surprise as we knew his health was deteriorating. He and his wife had been living in an assisted living facility for several years.  As he grew older, as often happens, his body began to wear out and finally Monday morning it just quit working.  He not only was my brother, but he was my oldest brother. He was seventeen years older than me and in so many ways he was more than just a brother…he was like a second father. To a large degree he helped mold me into who I am today…especially spiritually.  My brother was a believer, a Jesus follower and if I may say so…a pretty good one at that.  In fact, I can’t remember him ever not being a Jesus follower. 

He was the one who always made sure I had a ride to church.  He was one of those three-time-a-week goers, so I suppose that is why it has been a habit in my life too.  Over the years, he shared a lot of good advice with me…advice that has guided me along my journey. When I became a pastor, he offered me some Godly wisdom and for my birthday gifted me with a couple of foundational books.  At one of the churches I pastored, he felt led to lend a hand financially…something he did for more than a few years. He was like a father but he also was like the State Farm commercial that says, “just like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.” He was always there.  Oh, we lived in different parts of the country…but that didn’t matter.  That’s how some relationships are.

My brother wasn’t just my oldest brother…he was my last brother.  When he left town on Monday for a bigger and better place, I looked around and realized I was the last brother standing.  And that was another of those, “mortality moments.”  He was just shy of 86 when he left here and went there—there being heaven.  Eighty-six is a pretty good number, especially for men and especially for Taylor men. At first there were five of us Taylor men and three had already changed addresses—thankfully all in heaven.  So, that left the bookends—my oldest brother at one end and me, the youngest at the other. He lived a long, good life…not the richest guy, not the most popular guy, and not the most powerful guy. In the end those don’t matter anyway.  What matters is he was a Jesus guy. He made a difference. He made an impact. He left a legacy.

So, what happened that Monday morning when the last heartbeat came? Often our first thought is something bad happened.  Well, I guess you could say God, through His Word, helped me have a different view.  As I looked at all of this, death, life, and all that it entails, it seemed God said, “Dewayne, this isn’t bad…it’s just hard.”  It immediately became lodged not in my throat but in my heart.  Not.Bad.Just.Hard.  Now don’t misread this, because there is plenty of bad in the world but with God painted into the picture, His grace and mercy can change bad to just hard.

You see, when my brother’s heart stopped the other day, he gave up a broken world for one that is perfect. He gave up a broken body for one that is perfect. He gave up sickness, tears, and sadness for a place where none of that exists. No assisted living, no hospitals, no funeral homes—just a home like none we can ever imagine—at home with his Dearest Daddy.  See, it’s hard for us, sometimes really hard for us, however for him…no…he’s doing better than ever before. You might say that he is more alive than ever before.

My brother loved our family reunions and guess what? There is one coming that will outshine them all.  Because of my pastoral responsibilities and distance, I didn’t make too many of the reunions but this one coming up…I’ll be there.  Oh, it isn’t because I’m a preacher, or go to church, or belong to one denomination or another.  No, just like my brother, I’ll be there because I am a Jesus guy and He is the way to the reunion of all reunions.  Jesus said, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life and no one comes to the Father but by Me.”  Yes, it is a narrow road but the grand part is everyone is invited to participate.  All you have to do is say, “Yes” to Jesus.

So, my brother died…well…actually His body died but not him.  I’ll see him again and that’s not bad. The separation is hard but there is a party coming…one for the ages.  You need to know that God wants you there also, and He made it possible for that to happen.  Jesus, faith, grace, and mercy.  Indeed, He’s got this. Bro. Dewayne

Posted in Family, fear, friends, Grace, gratitude, heaven, life, loving others, prayer, Scripture, sovereignty of God, thankful, travel

Ready…..or Not

Preach the word; be ready in season and out of season.”

2 Timothy 4:2

Do you think they would mind,” she asked?  It was over a year ago but even now I savor the moment. It was very early in the morning on our last day at Key Colony.  I awoke from a good night’s sleep (I mean we were on vacation), made a cup of coffee, and headed down to the beach.  Sunrise was a good hour away, but the water and the air were both calm.  The only sound was the gentle lap of the waves against the sandy shore.  This is my time of the day.  God is in the labor room delivering another day for us to enjoy…and I love it.

After a while, the sky slowly turned gray, and you could see the beginning of the sunrise.  It was going to be a good one.  About that time, my wife Judy wandered out and sat down with me.  Just when you think something couldn’t get better…it does.  Judy seems to make anything better.  We chatted and sipped coffee enjoying the creation process.  After another few minutes, the sun peeked over the horizon and another day was born.  Good job, Father, and thank you.  Now that it was daylight, you could see that the water was not only calm…it was crystal clear.  It was then that Karen walked up.

We had talked with Karen and her boyfriend the night before.  We talked about life, faith, and God.  It was an opportunity for me to share some about how much God loved us.  Gary had a large tattoo on his left arm that said, “Faith.”  That gave an opportunity to talk about not only faith, but where that faith should be directed.  I shared it wasn’t enough just to have faith…you had to direct that faith in the right direction…right toward God.

When Karen walked up that morning, I noticed that she was carrying two small containers. I could tell that something was on her mind and that is when she asked the question.  She asked, “Do you think they would mind if I poured my son’s and husband’s ashes in the water?” I quickly assured her that I was sure they would not.  It turned out that her son had tragically died of an opioid overdose at the age of 22.  I didn’t get the details of her husband’s death but since she was in her early fifties, I assumed he too died young.  Then, it was my turn to ask a question.  I asked, “Would you like me to say a prayer?”  And, without hesitation, she answered yes.

Judy asked if Karen would like to have a picture taken and she agreed to that too. All three of us walked down into the water and slowly Karen opened the containers and poured the ashes into the water.  As they touched the water, it turned to a color very similar to wet cement but then just as quickly the color disappeared.  She said a few words, speaking to the souls she could no longer hold.  And then, I asked God for His peace to be on Karen.  I thanked Him for His love…even in hard times like this.  With an amen we were done. Almost.

Judy and I both gave Karen a hug…that was the only way we knew we could tell her we cared, and that God cared too.  As we left the water, Karen headed to Dunkin’ Donuts for a cup of coffee and Judy and I returned to our chairs by the beach.  We knew that we had kept a divine appointment.  I wish I could write and share how Karen and Gary both placed their faith in Jesus but that wasn’t the case…at least not that day.  But I do know we scattered seed in their lives.  I know we left fingerprints on their lives and heart and who knows what God will do with that.

When I woke up that morning, I didn’t know I was going to preside over a funeral standing in the Florida Straits.  Judy didn’t know she was going to act as a memory maker for Karen…but our Dearest Daddy did.  He knew…just as He always does.  We just need to be ready whenever He opens a door or a window and then simply walk where He leads.

Paul, the one who wrote a chunk of the New Testament, told a young preacher named Timothy one day, “Preach the word; be ready in season and out of season.”  When he said to preach…trust me, it was more than standing on a stage on any given Sunday…and it wasn’t just for preachers and teachers.  It was for all of us Jesus followers and it is for all places…planned…or not.  I learned a long time ago that the best sermons are often not preached on Sunday…rather, they are lived out over the course of the other six days. So, let’s be ready to be used.  It may be at the store, on the job or at the ballfields.  Just remember this.  When the time comes, He will be there to help and you can rest assured, “He’s got this.” Bro. Dewayne

Posted in birthday, Family, fear, friends, gratitude, heaven, life, Scripture, sovereignty of God, thankful, Trials

Happily Ever After

You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in Your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.” Psalm139:16

Cinderella and happily ever after.  Most of us grew up knowing at least something of fairy tales.  When I was younger it was largely by reading books.  In those days, Mr. Disney was just getting started and there were few animated films but slowly things changed.  Over the years, what was once only printed on the pages of a book became alive on the screen before our eyes…and it was amazing.  For years there were the classics, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Pinocchio, and Peter Pan to name just a few.  And the list has grown and grown.  When we watch them, we often want to be them. As the story plays out and ends with the dramatic “happily ever after” we sigh and long…if only.

Each fairy tale, every animated story begins with a “once upon a time…” It sets the stage for the story and then slowly, and almost invariably, the plot develops and oh so often there are plenty of bumps and bruises along the way.  There is usually a bad guy or guyette and they slosh their mess all over the screen, hurting and wounding.  And then, right when it seems that they are going to win…things turn around.  Good overcomes evil, the weak become strong and the impossible becomes…possible. Just about then the “happily ever after” music begins and we smile at the end, we savor the redemption, and we leave feeling good but knowing that story could never be our story.  Or can it?

You see, all our lives begin with a “once upon time…” All of us have a beginning.  In fact, today just happens to be my birthday and on this day, I think about my, “once upon a time.”  On that day a grand story began to be written.  A little boy with dreams about a big future. A teenager trying to figure out what life was all about.  A husband and later a father trying to figure that out—still trying to figure that out.  Twelve years in the service of his country and forty years in the service of his King. Mountains and valleys, wins and losses, victories, and defeats—fighting monsters and dragons and loving his fair maiden and their princesses. Whew…what a journey.

And honestly, there were times when I would ponder how all this would play out.  Having watched a whole lot of “redemption” movies where the end is always exactly how we would want it, I wondered, “What about this story?”  Perhaps you have done the same.  Perhaps you have wondered how your story will end.  Perhaps you have longed for a different story…a different prince or princess, a different role, something, anything different.  Well, I have some good news for you.  The Playwright for your story never makes a mistake and never gets it wrong.  He has been writing stories since before the beginning of time.  In fact, the Bible says that He wrote every scene of your life before there was a “once upon a time.”  In Psalm 139:16 it says, “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in Your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.” Wow…how about that?

But wait…it might just get better.  So, every story, including yours, can be like every fairy tale.  A beginning, a story filled with up and downs, bumps and bruises, toads, and princes.  But here’s the best part—every story can have a “happily ever after.”  No, really.  You see the same book and the same God who promises that every day, every scene in your story has been written and planned promises a “happily ever after.”  Oh, it is not always here, though sometimes it is.  It is in eternity.  When we are willing to put our faith and trust in the Prince of Peace and the King of Kings we have the promise of an eternity that is beyond our wildest dreams.  Believe what He did and choose to follow Him and heaven is the end of the story.

It is nice when the story, our story, plays out like we want and wish. It would be nice if every detail was just as we would have written it. Perhaps, but maybe not, because the One who writes the story, our story, is far wiser than us.  We probably won’t be able to understand or see that entirely till the end but, well, that is what faith is all about.  So, trust Him for the grand finale. It is going to be a wiz-bang finish.  And until then…enjoy the show…savoring the good scenes and trusting in the hard ones.  He’s got this.  Bro. Dewayne