Posted in Family, fear, gratitude, life, prayer, Scripture, sovereignty of God, thankful, Trials

Dancing With Corena

Consider it a great joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you experience various trials.” James 1:2

I didn’t even know she was invited to the dance and I certainly don’t remember dancing with her.  Her name is Corena…my new name for COVID-19.  As we all know, in early March 2020, the word on everyone’s lips was the COVID-19 or the corona virus.  Regardless, it changed our lives.  We went through lockdowns, closedowns, and mask mandates.  Toilet paper and dozens of other items suddenly flew off the shelves and became hot items on the black market.  Myself included and millions of others escaped the initial onset of the virus, and I breathed a sigh of relief when at the end of January, I was able to get the first of two shots of the Moderna vaccine.  A month later I received my second shot, and I counted the days, hours, and minutes for the next two weeks.  I made it. I was fully vaccinated and fully expected not to have to endure a personal attack of the COVID-19 virus.

I know in our area there were like 13,000 people fully vaccinated.  Of those, there were only 41 break-through cases—cases of people getting the virus after being fully vaccinated.  Imagine only 41 out of 13,000. Those were odds I could live with.  Well, I guess I should go buy a lottery ticket because I became one of those break-through cases.  I had unknowingly danced with Corena, and lost. It went like this. Last Tuesday, I woke up with a bit of a cough…not the deep throaty kind but the itchy, catch in your throat kind. You know, these days if you cough people scatter in six different directions. Well, I went to work and told my co-workers not to worry. “Just allergies,” I said. “It happens every year,” I said. And it does, but not this time.

That night I slept horrible.  When my wife got up that morning, I explained I had really slept poorly.  “Just allergies,” she said. “It happens every year,” she said.  So then I merrily went to work at the office, attributing my occasional cough to allergies and my tiredness to lack of sleep.  Wednesday night was, well, not fun.  I tossed, turned, coughed, got hot and then got cold.  In the morning, I told Judy that I thought I had a sinus infection.  I messaged my friend and doctor to see if he would write me a script for an antibiotic…like a Z-Pack. At Judy’s prodding, I also told him that I would take a COVID test if he felt I should.   He thought it wise.  I have a wise friend and doctor.

So, it was Thursday morning, when I got tested and twenty-five minutes later I learned that I had indeed danced with Corena—the COVID virus.  I don’t know where I got it, nor does that matter.  What I do know is that in a matter of a few hours I had a new respect for the virus and those who danced with her before it became my turn. I felt awful.  In fact, referring to my heart stint deal three years ago, I told my daughter I would take the heart attack over my dance with Corena. Judy said I was talking out of my head.  No, I really think I would.  I managed to have almost all the symptoms and none of them made my list of top things I want to do again.

Well, if nothing else comes out of this, I know I have a better empathy for others.  You see empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. It is to walk a mile or so in someone else’s shoes.  I have prayed for a lot of people who danced with Corena, and I promise you I will pray a little harder now. I have felt sympathy for those who have suffered from the dance, but I will feel a deeper sympathy now.

There is one thing that didn’t change from my dance with Corena.  It is my absolute certainty that God is in absolute control of every aspect of my life…and yours.  He allowed me to dance with her so that I could learn about empathy, and sympathy, and maybe, just maybe, about slowing down because trust me…I slowed down.  Remember that verse that James the half-brother of Jesus wrote that said, “Hey, count it all joy when you find yourself in all kinds of trials?” Well, I’ve taught that Biblical joy is a “deep sense of wellbeing based on one’s faith in God and trust in His sovereign will.”  It is the chance to test what you say you believe.  Now, that’s a good thing.

So, if you have danced, or are dancing with Corena…I feel your pain.  If your family has suffered loss after the dance, I hurt with you and pray you will keep trusting the heavenly Father.  And I know one more thing.  I always try to end my story with the words, “He’s got this.”  Well, I am more, not less, convinced that He does indeed, “have this.” Bro. Dewayne

Posted in Family, fear, forgiveness, Grace, gratitude, life, loving others, prayer, Scripture, Southern born, Trials

I Just Couldn’t Resist

No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.” (Hebrews 12:11)

I just couldn’t resist.  All of us have stories that we don’t necessarily remember but are passed down through the years.  Some are humorous, some are serious, and some are the things legends are made of.  Well, this one I believe qualifies as all three. 

When I was quite young, probably six or seven, life was pretty good.  We lived in a country setting that was rapidly becoming the suburbs of Jacksonville, Florida.  There was a subdivision being built right next to where we lived.  Some of the men who were working there would drive these cool wedge shape sticks in the ground at the corners of each lot.  They had numbers on them.  They were surveyor markers for the lots.  We thought they made great rubber band guns so we would help ourselves.  We had an endless supply of rubber bands because the newspaper came each day with one or two wrapped around it. We weren’t trying to be mischievous; we were just trying to have fun.  I bet it wasn’t fun for the guys who did the surveying.

Sometimes, our fun might become someone else’s pain.  And, this is where the story really begins.  Back in those days, going to the grocery store was the great adventure.  My dad got paid every other Friday.  Payday night we would load up in the car and go to buy groceries.  It seemed we would always buy the stuff to make sandwiches for supper when we got home which invariably included a gallon of chocolate milk.  It never saw the light of the next morning.

Well, one Friday night, we were at the grocery store and apparently, I had a rubber band left over from my adventures that day. I must have reached in my pocket and found the small piece of rubber and thought, “You know, we can have some fun with this.”  Well, I probably should have thought that through a little better, but when you are six or seven and mischievous by nature, anything is game.  I started looking for targets.

Down the aisle was a rather large woman.  And what happens next has been blocked from my memory but is stated as fact.  As we got closer to the woman, perhaps as she studied what brand of mayo to buy, I took the rubber band, placed it between my thumb and pointer finger, moved my hand, in close proximity to the intended target and let it fly.  I can only imagine what happened next.

First, I am certain she was shocked.  It must have felt like a killer bee had bit her but that wasn’t logical since she was in a store.  I’m thinking she probably spun around and looked only to see this smiling kid with a rubber band still in his hand.  To me it was all fun.  To her it was all pain.  Lesson one.  Don’t let your fun become someone else’s pain.

Second, I am certain my parents were devastated.  Since this would have been about 1960 or 61 there were not the social rules about child discipline that we have today.  Knowing my Daddy and Momma, there was probably swift and lethal retribution.  I can imagine one of them, perhaps both of them, making sure my bottom felt like her bottom.  No one would have called Children and Family Services.  They all would have said, “Let me help you with that.”

Third, I believe that this was when I began to really understand repentance.  Repentance means to turn around and go in a different direction.  If I could have gotten loose from Daddy that night, I would have definitely practiced repentance…I probably would still be running.  The other meaning of repentance is to have a change in attitude.  I am certain that happened.  If you were to ask me how many other times I decided to pop a strange lady with a rubber band in the grocery store that number would be zero.  Somehow the urge suddenly left me.  I had repented.

This is going to sound hokey, but it is memories like this that show how much my parents loved me.  They loved me enough to teach me right from wrong, respect for other people, a strong work ethic and to believe in God.  And they loved me enough to give me a swat or two when I needed it.  It all came together to help me grow, and live and love.

God is the same way.  My Daddy and Momma loved me very much, but God outshines even them.  He loves me and teaches me to do life with fewer oops and fewer consequences. I never carry rubber bands in my pocket just to avoid the temptation.  But He also loves me enough to discipline me when I need it. The author of Hebrews says it best.  He writes, “No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.” Spot on.  He must have popped some lady too.

So, try and show some grace.  I shouldn’t have popped the lady and I haven’t popped any more.  Don’t judge my parents for taking care of the problem.  I am grateful for the way they raised me.  And don’t be mad at God if He disciplines you.  He is way too wise to make a mistake and way too loving to do the wrong thing.  He is our “Abba Father,” our Dearest Daddy so we can trust Him.  We can rest in Him.  Because…He’s got this. Bro. Dewayne

Posted in Family, Grace, gratitude, life, prayer, thankful, travel, Trials, wisdom

The One in Control

Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts.” Ecclesiastes 4:9

I soon discovered who was in control…and it wasn’t me. My adventure with my wife, Judy, down Jack’s Fork River in Southeast Missouri was a lesson in life. Jack’s Fork is a tributary to the Current River. The key word there is “current,” because there is one, both on Jack’s Fork and its big brother. At the launching place the current is hardly noticeable. It all seems so serene, so gentle, so docile. The reason for that is the fact at that particular point, the river is somewhat wide…at least compared to downstream. It seemed to be saying, “Come on in.  Trust me.” We have a saying for that “Liar, liar. Pants on fire.”

As Judy and I launched from the shore I was immediately impressed with how stable the canoe seemed to be. “This isn’t so hard,” I said. “This is going to be a breeze,” I said. “We’ve got this,” I said. I decided it would be good time to test my steering and guiding capabilities for the canoe. If you want to go to the left…you paddle on the right. “Paddle, right,” I said to Judy. The canoe went straight. I decided to try the other way, “Paddle, left,” I said to Judy. The canoe went straight. Hmmm. It kinda reminded me of my teenage kids. It kinda reminded me of me when God was saying one thing and I didn’t listen.

Well, I tried “Plan B” of the steering plan and that is when the guy or gal in the back drags the paddle in the water. If you want to go left ,you drag your paddle in the water on the left side and if you want to go right you do the opposite. Now this produced some results…I think. I say I think because sometimes it seemed to work and sometimes it didn’t and there was a reason. You see I might have been in the back trying to steer but really, it was the current that was the boss. And too soon that became apparent.

About ten minutes into the trip, the river narrowed a bit and took a turn to the left. The water went from gentle to a class 14 rapid…the kind you see on television when people are dying. Waves, 15 feet tall, threatened to swamp the boat. Ok, that might be a slight exaggeration, but the current was definitely faster and stronger, and we did lose four or five boats there. Somehow, Judy and I survived the challenge but trust me it had nothing to do with skill and a lot to do with grace.

But here’s the deal. No matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried, it seemed I wasn’t in control. The current took us where it wanted. The best I could manage was to manage to stay away from the hazards and stay somewhere in the middle of the swift water. It would pull us this way and push us that way and we were along for the ride. Even in smoother water it seemed we spent a lot of time going from side to side instead of down the river.

I think I know the problem…inexperience. I knew the basics, I knew some of the mechanics, but I just didn’t have the time in the saddle, if you get my drift, partner. Someone who had done this a lot wouldn’t have had the same issues Judy and I did. With experience, you learn to read the river and use the current to your advantage. And, equally important, you learn to work together as a team. By reading the river and working as a team, you overcome the obstacles and hazards and that increases your chances of arriving safely…and dry.

Speaking of dry…Judy and I did arrive dry. The only time we got wet was when we stopped for a rest and some snacks and then it was a welcome relief to get in the cold water. So, whether it is in marriage or family, at home or at church, or at work, perhaps we should learn to “read the river” and work with, and not against, one another. The wisest guy to ever live and the author of one of the books of wisdom in the Bible said it best, “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts.” The current may be strong but two might just be able to overcome it. It gets better.

You see, the same guy says in the same place, that a three strand cord is not easily broken. You see, often our best efforts are just not enough. Sometimes those currents can become raging rapids and sometimes it happens with little or no warning. Why not invite a third party along for the ride? Why not invite God along for the journey? I know that He has all the experience in the universe and beyond and the One who made river, knows the river better than we ever will. As you are navigating the river of life, take a moment and listen from the back of the boat. You will hear the Whisper say, “Hey, take a break. I’ve got this.” And do you know what? He does. Bro. Dewayne

Posted in Family, life, prayer, Scripture, travel, Trials

While I’m Waiting

Consider it a great joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you experience various trials, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance.” James 1:2-3

At first it seemed unfair but then, there it was, conspiracy.  There is a lot of talk today about conspiracy schemes.  When and whatever happens there is someone who will say there is a dark diabolical reason for it happening.  I wasn’t sure about it until it happened to me.  Yes, there was a conspiracy.

Last year, my wife Judy and I were able to attend a pastor’s conference in North Carolina.  It was so good to pack a few things, jump into our 44 mpg Jetta and hit the road.  Willie Nelson’s “On the Road Again” was ringing in my ears.  We cruised across Tennessee and were heading toward North Carolina when it happened.  About five miles from the border, our GPS talky thing said, in her most gentle voice, “traffic ahead.”  Well, it wasn’t like we were in Chicago or something so that could only mean trouble.

Soon, very soon, trouble was staring me in the face.  Break-lights and slowing vehicles were everywhere.  We were in a slowdown—we were in—traffic.  Signage and the talky thing confirmed my worse fears—there was construction ahead.  Now you need to know something.  First, I am not patient in traffic.  Ok, that wasn’t totally transparent.  I am totally impatient in traffic.  In fact, I’m not patient period.  Whether it be in traffic or at the store, I am changing lanes like a one-armed paperhanger looking for the shortest and fastest lane.  The Bible says we are fearfully and wonderfully made but I must have missed the patience part.

Have ever been driving and the traffic going in the opposite direction is stopped and you are feeling sorry for them?  Well, I was the one stopped, and I could just feel the empathy of the other drivers.  It turned out to be about a 45-minute stop and go.  The amazing part was I did pretty good.  Judy was beaming at my surprised patience.  I even said, “Well, at least going home we won’t have to deal with this.”  Soon (though not soon enough) we were through the construction—we were on our way.  Hit the fast forward button.

That was Wednesday.  Too quickly the days of the conference went by and in no time, it was time to go home.  After the conference ended at noon, we jumped into our 44 mpg Jetta and hit the road toward home.  Willie was once again whirling around in my head singing “On the Road Again.”  We were nearing the site of Wednesday’s lesson in patience feeling confident and glad that we were heading in the other direction.  And then it happened.  The GPS talky thing mentioned traffic, 14 miles per hour, and delays. Wait. What?  We were not supposed to have to deal with this. And this is when I knew there was a conspiracy.  They had changed sides.

Here’s how I think it played out.  The North Carolina Department of Transportation called the conference center, asked when I was leaving and then quickly moved the construction to the West bound side so they could get me again.  I am sure of it.  So, another slowdown, another wait in traffic, but this time they were merciful since it was only 27 minutes and 14 seconds.  Oh yes, I was counting.  And the people going east, were zooming by with looks of mercy for those of us stuck.  It just wasn’t fair.

I know the Bible well enough to know that you don’t pray for patience.  That is one prayer you won’t hear passing through my lips.  Pray for patience and you end up with traffic. Pray for patience and you end up locked in your house with three kids for three months.  So, I got that.  But there is a pesky couple of verses found in James 1:2-3 that says, “Consider it a great joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you experience various trials, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance.” I really like the Bible, but I really don’t like those verses.

Of all the emotions I feel when I am sitting in traffic, joy is not the one that comes to mind—and certainly not great joy.  But then I read verse 3 and it gives me pause.  James says I should appreciate the moments in traffic because it helps me to grow. It helps me to be a better person.  It helps me be stronger—it builds endurance.  Like lifting weights at the gym strengths muscles so trying situations strengthens our faith in God.  Which means part of that whole 2020 deal, and 2021 for that matter, should be to make us stronger in our faith.  Hmmmm.

Well, in the end I did pretty good through traffic lesson number two and we managed to get home that evening just about on time.  Truth be known…God was good, God was faithful and even in traffic, God can be trusted.  No matter what, He has my good at His heart.  He wants me to thrive in this world and not just survive.  And that means sometimes learning patience sitting in traffic.  As you travel today wherever and however that looks, just know God is the traffic manager of your life.  Just sit back, enjoy the pause and rest in Him. He’s got this. Honk, Honk.  Bro. Dewayne

Posted in Family, fear, forgiveness, Grace, gratitude, life, Military memories, Scripture, Trials

Foot in Mouth Disease

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29

I just shouldn’t have said it.  We all have said things that we wish we hadn’t.  I learned a lesson about that the hard way.  I had two bumps in Air Force basic training. One involved singing…you can check that one out on my blog www.gritswithgrace.com (https://gritswithgrace.com/2020/06/01/i-said-sing/). The other one also involved my mouth…I wonder if there is trend there?

In basic training guys were assigned to a flight (group) and each flight had a dorm chief.  He was someone, a peer of sorts, the flight chief selected from within or outside the flight.  Ours was selected from outside.  He had a weight issue so was put in a special group that helped men get down to a weight level that was acceptable.  That of course meant they had to stay longer in basic.  Well, our guy, whose name was Guy, was one of those guys.  Because of his longer tenure in basic he was named our dorm chief.

Now it could have been a little jealousy on my side, or it could have been that I was a little judgmental or maybe I had a momentary case of the “stupids”, but I said something to one of the guys about this guy.  The words are lost to time, but it was probably something like, “Who does this guy think he is? He’s not a leader…he is a loser.”  Well, anyway, something like that. I said it and forgot it assuming it just died away.  It did not.

So, apparently either that guy told another guy who told another guy who told the guy named Guy.  The guy named Guy told the guy named Sergeant Catchings who was the same guy that caught me singing.  Well, things were about to go south.  There was a lesson that needed to be taught and I was the object of that lesson.

Sergeant Catchings gathered the flight outside his office and leaving the door open sat down at his desk.  We all were like, “What’s this about?”  I quickly found out it was about me.  Soon a booming, “you’re in deep weeds son” voice said, “Airman Taylor, get in here.” I got up and went in the office and he instructed me to close the door.  I stood smartly at attention in front of the desk. Sergeant Catchings harshly invited me to take a seat.  There was no chair.

He had me place my hands flat on his desk and then squat by bending my knees till my arms were parallel with the top of his desk. Three things immediately came to my mind.  One, what in the world have I done? Two, this is very uncomfortable.  Three, I’m going to die.  Well in about one minute I found out that Dorm Chief Guy had told him I was mouthing off.  I had broken a cardinal rule…don’t mouth off about those in leadership above you.

Sergeant Catchings, jumped to his feet and began to lecture me about respect for leadership and how I should never, ever disrespect those put in authority over me.  Now don’t forget.  One, I still “sitting” in the invisible chair with my hands on his desk.  Two, the entire flight is outside the door.  And by now he is screaming at the top of his voice.  For added effect, he would occasionally walk over to the door and kick it or slap it making it sound like I was dying.  I was.

Finally, after about ten or so minutes he opens the door and says two words, “Get out.” Imagine 27 guys looking in the office and seeing me squatting with my hands on the desk.  I can’t move.  I am locked in place.  My muscles leg and arm muscles were frozen.  He said it again, LOUDER, “I said get out.”  So, I fell over and managed to crawl, yes, I said crawl, out of his office. I was in agony and the rest of guys were in shock and we all learned a lesson about gossip and respect for authority.

The lesson that day was very valuable. I wish I could tell you that I learned it so well I never had the “stupids” again but that wouldn’t be true.  But I can tell you this.  There is a reason the Bible talks so much about the tongue and the mouth. It isn’t a matter of finding a verse…it is a matter of choosing a verse.  We can start with a little nugget found in Proverbs 21:23, “Watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut,

and you will stay out of trouble.” I wish I had remembered that one before I uttered the words that prompted my visit to Sergeant Catchings office.

But the one that probably says it best is this, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Imagine how less complicated our lives, our families, our marriages would be if we mastered that one.  Imagine how our work lives and even our worship lives would change.  A pastor once said that if we knew we would have to personally apologize to every person we slandered or gossiped about, we probably would hit “pause” a lot more often.

Oh well, I’m sure glad we have a graceful God.  I have learned over the years to deeply value His patience with me and His mercy for me.  There have been too times I’ve had to go to my dearest Daddy and have a chat about “foot in mouth” disease.  I’m glad He graciously invited me to come sit close beside Him. He has always heard my confession and honored my repentance.  I find rest right there…next to Him. Because He’s got this.  Bro. Dewayne

Posted in Family, gratitude, life, love, Scripture, thankful, Trials, wisdom

Smarty Pants

Then Jesus turned to the Twelve and asked, “Are you also going to leave?” Simon Peter replied, “Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words that give eternal life. John 6:67-68

“I’m sorry.  I’m having trouble understanding you right now.”  Now if you are married that is something you just might hear occasionally.  My wife Judy and I have been married for 45 years and it has been a great adventure.  They say after you have been with someone for so long you start completing each other’s sentences and can almost read the other person’s mind.  I think that is true.  But every once in a while…well…I miss it or she misses it and we look at each other like a “calf at a new gate.”  That means like a young calf who has never gone through a particular gate and says, “I’m not sure I like this or understand this.”  Calf.At.A.New.Gate.

Well, the other woman who lives in our house is named Alexa.  Actually, we have several of them and we can tell her what to do and she does it.  We have several items in our home that are wirelessly controlled.  For example, our thermostat can be controlled from anywhere we can get an internet signal.  I can tell Alexa, “Alexa set upstairs thermostat to 80” and she does it.  Boom.  I also have some of the lights in our home that have a “thingy” that will allow me to control them with Alexa.  I just say, “Alexa, turn on the lights” and all the lights in the room come on.  That is especially good at night when you are getting into bed, and you don’t want to catch your toes on the corner of something because you can’t see.

We also recently put our satellite TV account on hold.  We are trying the “cut the cord” thing and streaming our TV through the internet.  It is definitely cheaper and cleaner…if you follow my drift.  All this is just great until…wait for it…the internet goes down.  That happened recently.  I woke up and groggily walked into my home office and asked Alexa to turn on the lights.  She said, “I’m sorry. I’m having trouble understanding you right now.” That is code for there is no internet.  That also means that I can’t watch the weather or anything else.  Oh, and I also can’t control the thermostat…I have to actually walk over and turn it up or down.  Then you add to that list that you can’t check or send email, can’t check the news, can’t, can’t can’t—it almost sounds like 2020 all over again. No. No. And No.

The deal with all this cool smart stuff is if the internet connection goes down…things come to a screeching halt and you quickly find yourself wondering if smart is so smart after all.  I know this is true for me and almost eight billion of my closest friends.  We often think we have it all figured out and that we don’t need God directing our lives or telling us this or that.  What we often discover is that without Him…well, we can make a mess pretty quickly.

What we write off as life being crazy and messy is what life becomes without faith and believing. I’m not sure I can imagine what life would be like if we decide we don’t need God anymore, but I am sure I don’t want to find out. Oh, we can get by without religion…no problem there…but God…I don’t think so.

Well, it turned out the internet was down all that day and the next.  Rumor was someone hit a pole somewhere and knocked out one of the main lines.  I learned that day that all that smart stuff wasn’t worth anything without the thing that made it smart.  And in the process of learning that, I was reminded that when we think we are really smart and that we have it all figured out…well, we are not much without the One who made us.  Take Him out of the equation and things can grind to a halt pretty quickly. As I waited to for the internet to come back online, I think I heard a whisper from the Whisperer.  He seemed to be saying, “Don’t worry. I’ve got this.” Bro. Dewayne

Posted in life, Military memories, Scripture, thankful, Trials

Losing Your Grip

 “How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.”  Matthew 7:4-5

It was definitely an “I need coffee” wakeup. You know sometimes you bound out of bed like an overactive gazelle and sometimes you just sorta fall out of bed.  Well, today was somewhere in between.  I am an early riser but today was earlier than normal…4:00 am. It wasn’t an overactive brain but an overactive bladder.  “Wakeup sleepy head.  Time to rise and shine.”  Yeah.  Right. Sure.

I went into my man-cave to tell the Keurig coffee machine I needed help…fast.  As I was getting things ready, I looked on the floor and there was a small round thing.  I recognized it as one of the mementos I had on a wall displaying memories from my stint in the Air Force.  It was then I looked up.  There was a gaping hole in the display.  A large picture frame that had been the center piece for the display was missing.

So, I stumbled around, keep in mind this is still before coffee, and started finding things.  First, there was the picture frame…not on the wall where it belonged but on the floor.  Also laying on the floor and on my desk where several things that I had placed on top of the frame.  It was like an avalanche of memories had fallen off the wall. What in the world?

Well, here’s the deal.  I am (or used to be) a fan of Command Strips.  It’s a product that allows you to hang things. You simply put a sticky thing on something and then put another sticky thing on the wall, press them together and ta-da you are done.  Well, apparently make that almost done.  Or, maybe done for a while. Or, maybe done till it decides it is done.  Regardless…the picture isn’t on the wall.  Of course, there is that thing about cleaning the wall with alcohol before you stick it there.  Did I do that?  Hmmm.  Probably not…the wall didn’t look dirty to me.

Anyway, there are a couple of things that made me think about this whole falling off the wall thing.  First, I walked into the man-cave and noticed a little round medallion on the floor but didn’t see the gaping hole on the wall.  Isn’t it amazing how we sometimes notice the small things and miss the giant ones? That’s what Jesus was talking about when He said we walk around with a 2×4 in our eye while telling someone they need to take care of a speck of dust in their eye. How weird is that? Or maybe not.

And then there is this whole falling off the wall thing. You see, that picture had been hanging on the wall for well over a year. The two sticky things were stuck together like white on rice.  Then slowly over time they started to lose their grip.  Little by little the one stuck to the wall became loose and then one day…it just fell.  And when it did…it took several things with it.  I don’t think it woke up and said, “Well, today is the day I’m going to fall off the wall.” Nope…little by little gravity pulled and tugged until it won.

I’ve had some pretty good failures in my life.  And do you know what?  Very few of them where planned.  Most of them were just products of neglect.  Stopped getting on the scale. Stopped exercising for a few days…weeks.  Stopped having my time with God in the morning. Stopped telling my wife she hung the moon.  And then one day…you just fall off the wall.  You stop loving, stop believing, stop doing the next right thing. You suddenly find yourself in a hot mess.  And rarely does it affect just you.

So what do you do? Well, I find that the Bible is a really good resource for avoiding the landslides of life.  Jesus said in Matthew 26:41 “Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” He says we should watch out.  Look for signs that you are losing your grip.  Beware of pattern changes, attitude changes.  Second, pray.  Yup, prayer is a big one…but maybe not like you think. Worry less about being on your knees and using big words and just tell God what is on your mind.  Then, get ready, trust Him with the answer…the solution. Last…be ready to acknowledge your own weakness.  It’s ok to acknowledge when our “want to” doesn’t measure up to our “gonna do” or our done.  That’s why we need God.  Big time.

I’m gonna put the picture back on the wall.  This time it won’t be with a sticky thing.  I’m gonna use a nice big screw.  That way, it can’t lose its grip…the screw will do the work. And I think I’m gonna try that with me and God.  I’m gonna stop trying to hold on to Him and let Him hold on to me.  I bet that is a better idea.  I bet I can rest in Him then.  After all, He’s got me…and He’s got this.

Posted in Family, forgiveness, Grace, gratitude, life, love, loving others, Scripture, thankful, Trials

My Friend Francis

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” Proverbs 17:17

Johnny Cash sang it. “My name is Sue…now you’re going to die.” Well, his name wasn’t Sue but it was Frances.  Like Sue…it was a somewhat unusual name for a man and Frances was an unusual guy. I met Frances when I went to pastor at the LaMonte Baptist Church.  The church had three deacons and they were named Leo, Francis, and Floyd.  All three of them were special guys and I grew to love each one of them for who they were.  I was a very young, inexperienced pastor and new at the pastoring thing.  So new, in fact, that when I mowed my grass at the parsonage, across the street from the church, I would wear dress pants.  I wasn’t sure if pastors were allowed to wear jeans so close to the church.  They can.

So, even back in 1984, Judy loved flowers and the parsonage was woefully short in that department.  In fact, I’m not sure there were any flowers in the entire yard.  Well, one day Judy declared that she wanted a flower bed.  She began to actually plan the where’s and how’s of the flower bed.  If it would have been me, I would have grabbed some flowers, dug a hole, stuffed them in, and applied dirt.  Good luck.  Not Judy.  She decided that the flower bed should go along the front of the house and that it needed to be raised.  That means we needed to find some timbers to build up the height of the bed.  Again, after a little thought, she decided that railroad ties would do the job.

Somehow, I casually mentioned to Frances that Judy wanted a flower bed. Now Frances was the go-to guy when it came to things like the parsonage.  He had already led the charge in installing a brick flue so we could have a wood burner, so he was the natural choice for the flower bed.  I said, “Frances, Judy would like to have some railroad ties for her new flower bed.  Frances didn’t miss a beat.  He said, “I’ll pick you up tomorrow at five.”

Well, sure as shooting, the next day at five, Frances pulled up in his big ole dually, white Dodge pickup truck.  You know there are pickup trucks too pretty to get dirty and then there are real pickup trucks.  Frances had a real pickup truck.   I climbed inside and we headed toward Sedalia, the largest town nearby.  I figured we were heading to the hardware store there to purchase some ties.  I was wrong.  You see, there was a railroad that ran parallel to the main highway.  We went down the road a bit and then…Frances turned.

Yup, he turned on a small road and then immediately took a right.  We had arrived at the railroad tie store, only it wasn’t a store…it was the factory.  I found myself in railroad tie heaven.  You see, the railroad company had recently replaced their ties and the old ones were strewn all down the rails.  As far as you could see there were railroad ties. I was just amazed.  I should have been afraid.

Frances said, “Preacher, how many ties do you think you will need?”  Well, I told him I thought ten or twelve would be enough.”  So, we started going along the tracks and selecting the best ones for the flower bed.  Just like a carpenter would choose the best 2×4’s at the lumber yard, we picked the best ties.  This was just awesome.  And then it happened.  I heard the sound of a distant train whistle.

Now I didn’t think a thing about it. I always was a bit gullible and way too trusting so I had just assumed that Frances had called the local railroad office, told them the church needed a few of their old ties and got permission to get some.  I was wrong.  I heard the train whistle the second time and it was decidedly closer. I noticed that Frances had picked up the pace…he was definitely moving a little faster.  I still didn’t think a thing about it.  I just assumed he didn’t want to be that close to the tracks when the train went by.  Well, that was kind of true.

The whistle blew again and this time it must have been about a mile down the tracks and Frances said it, “Preacher, we got to go.”  I did sense a bit of urgency in his voice but I kind of thought it was a safety thing.  It turned out it was a bit more than that.  As we got back in his truck I said, “Frances, what’s the hurry?” I was thinking we could just move the truck further away from the tracks and we could even wave at the crew as they went by.  “Preacher, you don’t think they are giving us these ties, do you?”  Wait.  What?

Yup…I just discovered that we were stealing ties from the railroad.  It wasn’t a matter of safety it was a matter of not going to jail. So, Frances cranked the engine and mashed the gas and off we went just before the train came by. In the back of the truck were a bunch of railroad ties and in the front were two guys.  One was a preacher, one was a deacon, and both of them were guilty as sin. One knew all about it and the other was just learning but both were tie stealing criminals. Frances was smiling and I was wondering if I was going to jail.  But somehow it all seemed like a great adventure.

Well, we got back to the parsonage, and we built the flower bed. Frances helped with that too.  Years later when I would return to the church to preach, or perform a funeral, or maybe just drive through town, I would look and see the ties.  I didn’t remember the sin (After all, I’m sure I confessed it. God had forgotten it and I figure I should too.) No, I remembered a crusty old deacon, but more than that, a friend who wanted to help.  His way wasn’t ethical but all these years later, his willingness, his own brand of love is still lodged in my heart.  The Book says, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.”

You know there are fancy friends, and rich friends and maybe even friends in positions of power.  And then there are the Frances kind of friends and that ain’t bad. Of course, if you’re gonna steal railroad ties, you definitely need the Jesus kind of friend.  His specialty is forgiving when you mess up and He’s the best friend of all. He’s the kind of friend that wouldn’t have frowned or pretend He didn’t know you when He saw you in Walmart.  No, He’s the “stay by your side” friend.  Through thick or thin, jail or not, He would say, “Don’t worry…just rest in Me.  I’ve got this.” Now that’s my kind of friend. Bro. Dewayne

Posted in Family, fear, food, forgiveness, Grace, gratitude, life, Scripture, thankful, Trials, wisdom

Off the Wagon…Again

But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

I sat there in the dust looking as the wagon left me behind.  Ok.  The truth is I have fallen off several things in life.  I remember one time I was on a jet ski and fell off the back.  That was mostly ok with the exception that I couldn’t for the life of me get back on.  We had an above ground pool in Cobden and one day I was leaning over the edge trying to pick something up and well, before you could say, “shoot that thing” I was over the edge and gone.  It was so fast that my wife Judy and daughter Becca, who were watching, didn’t even see me go.  Don’t mention it to either of them…they are still laughing.

I’m going on a canoe trip with the youth of our church in a week or so and I fully expect to fall out of the canoe.  I have already enlisted several people to help me get back in when I fall out and my wife Judy is prepared to do CPR. You might wonder why I know I’m going to fall out.  Let’s call it destiny. Oh, and there was the time I was tubing behind a speed boat and lost my grip and my trunks.  They are still laughing about that too.

My latest experience about falling off has to do with the proverbial wagon.  Most of us who have ever started to exercise, or started a diet, or started back to church, or any one of a number of things, know about falling off the wagon.  For me it was the food thing…again.  I was so proud. Judy had found out that she was a diabetic and all of a sudden, I had some motivation to get back on the wagon…a little friendly competition. Well, I took the bull by the horns and before long, my sugar was normal, and I was twenty pounds lighter.  I had a blood test and everything was just “honky dorrie”.  But then it happened.

The wagon hit a big old bump and I went flying off and the next thing I knew all I could see was dust and Roy Rogers was singing, “Happy Trails to You.”  And here is what I discovered…once you are off, it is hard to get back on or in.  It is true with tubes, it is true with jet skis, it is true falling out of pools, it is true trying to start the church thing again, and it is true with healthy stuff. In fact, I just had to take a break and eat a couple of cookies to keep my strength up.

Well, I would ask for some advice about how to catch and climb back on the wagon but truthfully, I know what to do.  You know you stop this and start that and you might even pray about it.  The bottom line is I need a big old helping of want too, and I’m pretty sure it is right down the road somewhere.  The nice thing about that proverbial wagon is that it does circle around the block. I probably need to buy me one of those t-shirts that say, “Before you quit remember why you started.” It’s a little late for this time but not for the next.

So, how about you?  Any wagons left you in the dust recently? Anything you need to start again or stop again?  Well, here’s one good piece of advice.  Don’t quit trying.  They say you’ve never really failed until you stop trying and just in case you have stopped believing in you…the One who made you hasn’t.  His evaluation of you and your performance doesn’t depend on success or failure.  His evaluation is based solely on His love for you and boy, does He love you a lot.  The Bible tells us that He demonstrated or showed His love for all of us by sending and allowing His Son to die. Die.For.Us.  Now that is amazing.  It is just good to know that there is Someone who believes in us regardless and He will be first in line to give me and you a hand and pull us back on the wagon.  You can count on Him to be there for you with a great word of encouragement.  “Don’t worry,” He will say, “I’ve got this.”  Bro. Dewayne

Posted in Family, fear, forgiveness, Grace, life, love, loving others, Scripture, thankful, Trials

Ignored

Get up,” Jesus told him, “pick up your mat and walk.” Instantly the man got well, picked up his mat, and started to walk. John 5:8-9

No matter how hard I tried…he ignored me.  So, I am a   walker…sometimes more consistent than others but generally I walk several days a week.  The habit person in me likes the consistency of taking the same route over and over.  The adventure person in me likes to vary the routes that I take.  The bottom line…it is a coin toss every time I walk.  Regardless of which route I take, I see him frequently.

Who is he?  He is one of the homeless guys here in our small town.  Actually, I am only assuming he is homeless.  Like I said, frequently and no matter how early, I see him riding his bike, pushing his bike, and sitting somewhere, anywhere holding onto his bike. When I stroll by, I try to be friendly.  I walk by and give him a wave and a smile with a “good morning,” attached. He doesn’t respond.  If you remember the story of Brier Rabbit and Tar Baby, you know when Tar Baby didn’t respond to Brier Rabbit—he got more than a little upset.  Well, I think Brier Rabbit and I might be distant cousins.  My thought was, “What’s up with this?  Why is he ignoring me?”

Well, there were many attempts after that attempt, and it wasn’t just with him.  I would try to wave, be friendly, and give a “Good morning” if we were in voice range.  Almost without exception…there was nothing just a blank stare.  Well, earlier this week it was the same song, same verse but this time something occurred to me…or more accurately maybe Someone spoke to me.  The thought, the inner voice was this, “Dewayne, he is ignoring you because that is all he knows.”  A bell went off in my head and in my heart.

I realized in that moment that to most people, these folks who live in the streets are ignored because they become invisible. Most people don’t even see them much less acknowledge them.  And, I think, that once you have been ignored for so long…when you are invisible to the world around you…you stop seeing and feeling too. It becomes easy to just look, to stare until the world around disappears.  And, you need to know, that it isn’t always homeless people…it can be just everyday walk-around people who have been bruised and hurt one too many times.  They go to work, they function, but in reality, they stare into nothingness just trying to get by.

What are we to do?  Well, first we don’t stop trying to reach out and touch those around us.  Jesus was so good at seeing the invisible and loving the unlovable and do you know what?  He never gave up.  A story is told about a lame man who laid by a pool forever…or, at least, it seemed forever…38 years to be exact.  The rumor was if you could be the first in the pool when the waters stirred, you would be healed.  It wasn’t true and it really didn’t matter because he could never be first.  And then…Jesus showed up.

Jesus saw him, spoke to him and asked this question, “Do you want to be well?”  The man gave him the story about him and the waters.  Jesus didn’t quit.  He just said, “Pick up your mat and walk.”  Well, the guy took the gamble, obeyed, and…he was healed…just like that.  Amazing.  Thirty-eight years of suffering came to an abrupt end. I guess we can’t offer the broken around us that kind of deal, but we can see, we can speak, and we can pray and when we do that…who knows what God will do?

Let me encourage you…and me for that matter…to start seeing again, to start loving again, to start making a difference, no matter how small, again.  If you see someone obviously broken and you are a Jesus follower, just remember how broken you were when you met the Healer and He whispered, “I love you…I forgive you.” And as you remember, take that moment to reach out and let that person know how much God loves them and longs to forgive them. Oh, and let them know also that, “He’s got this.”  Bro. Dewayne