“And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” Matthew 19:4-6
We are “lifers.” When we were visiting in South Georgia we were having a conversation with my wife Judy’s niece. She had recently graduated from the Florida Department of Corrections Academy…no easy task. Cassie is a people person who loves to talk with people…even if they are in prison. We were talking about the length of the various sentences some of the prisoners had received. One was a young man that had received a life sentence without the possibility of parole. Prisoners like that young man are called “lifers,” a slang term for someone who is doing time for a lifetime. As we talked I realized what a hard thing that would be. It all seemed so sad…so hopeless. But like they say…you do the crime you have to do the time.
That same evening the conversation went from prison terms to marriage. How’s that for a transition? During that conversation, Judy made the comment that we are “lifers.” In the context of prison that of course was a negative thing–a hard thing–a hopeless thing. But in the context of marriage it was anything but. You see, in marriage that term speaks of two people who are committed to each other and to their marriage. It is two people who see marriage as more than a contract…they see it as a covenant.
This year, Judy and I are celebrating our 50th year together. We are “lifers” but it is not the number of years that make that term true in our marriage–it is the commitment–it is our outlook. From the beginning, we took the vows of marriage seriously. We bought into that better or worse, richer or poorer, till death do us part thing totally. We agreed a long time ago that our marriage was for life–with no jail breaks and no chance of parole. We agreed that divorce was not an option. With that said I think if I went crazy and decided to break our vows…murder would still be on the table.
The world we live in today treats marriage…and the family…as a disposable commodity. Instead of “lifers” we see marriage as a temporary thing that allows for a jail break for almost any reason. And, frankly, too often even “lifers” think they have been granted a parole and choose to walk away. Now I’m not casting rocks but I do hope to remind married Jesus followers that God gave us marriage in the first place and He sees it as a covenant for a life time.
Our marriage has been a great ride but don’t think for a minute it has always been easy without a bump or two. But we were in it for the long haul…and we still are. So if you are a married believer, remember that no one is perfect and that there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. And the best news is that when you hit those bumps you’ve got a great Counselor and Friend to help. His name is Jesus and no matter what the tale…He knows your story and as always, He’s got this. Bro. Dewayne
