Posted in Family, forgiveness, life, marriage, Scripture, Uncategorized

Lifer

“And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” Matthew 19:4-6

We are “lifers.” When we were visiting in South Georgia we were having a conversation with my wife Judy’s niece. She had recently graduated from the Florida Department of Corrections Academy…no easy task. Cassie is a people person who loves to talk with people…even if they are in prison. We were talking about the length of the various sentences some of the prisoners had received. One was a young man that had received a life sentence without the possibility of parole. Prisoners like that young man are called “lifers,” a slang term for someone who is doing time for a lifetime. As we talked I realized what a hard thing that would be. It all seemed so sad…so hopeless. But like they say…you do the crime you have to do the time.

That same evening the conversation went from prison terms to marriage. How’s that for a transition? During that conversation, Judy made the comment that we are “lifers.” In the context of prison that of course was a negative thing–a hard thing–a hopeless thing. But in the context of marriage it was anything but. You see, in marriage that term speaks of two people who are committed to each other and to their marriage. It is two people who see marriage as more than a contract…they see it as a covenant.

This year, Judy and I are celebrating our 50th year together. We are “lifers” but it is not the number of years that make that term true in our marriage–it is the commitment–it is our outlook. From the beginning, we took the vows of marriage seriously. We bought into that better or worse, richer or poorer, till death do us part thing totally. We agreed a long time ago that our marriage was for life–with no jail breaks and no chance of parole. We agreed that divorce was not an option. With that said I think if I went crazy and decided to break our vows…murder would still be on the table.

The world we live in today treats marriage…and the family…as a disposable commodity. Instead of “lifers” we see marriage as a temporary thing that allows for a jail break for almost any reason. And, frankly, too often even “lifers” think they have been granted a parole and choose to walk away. Now I’m not casting rocks but I do hope to remind married Jesus followers that God gave us marriage in the first place and He sees it as a covenant for a life time.

Our marriage has been a great ride but don’t think for a minute it has always been easy without a bump or two. But we were in it for the long haul…and we still are. So if you are a married believer, remember that no one is perfect and that there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. And the best news is that when you hit those bumps you’ve got a great Counselor and Friend to help. His name is Jesus and no matter what the tale…He knows your story and as always, He’s got this.  Bro. Dewayne

Posted in Family, fear, forgiveness, friends, Grace, gratitude, life, loving others, prayer, priorities, Scripture, sovereignty of God, Trials, wisdom

The Word

In the beginning the Word already existed. The Word was with God, and the Word was God.” John 1:1

It was bound to happen.  In my forty-two years of being a pastor I’ve managed to dodge the bullet on missing various things.  While I’ve had to miss several Sundays over the years, I never missed a wedding or a funeral.  Ironically, I almost got off to a bad start. Yup, I almost missed my first wedding with a bout of stomach flu.  With a bag in my pocket…we made it somehow.  I never missed a funeral…that is until a couple of years ago.  That flu season brought the type A flu…the kind that makes you think there are worse things than death…and I had to bow out.

It was hard.  It was the mother of a member of our church, a friend, and I was honored that he asked me to do her service.  Fortunately, I began preparing for the service several days before I got sick.  He had shared about his mother, and I wrote her life story.  With that done, I wrote the rest of the service.  I was sure I could do the service and that was a mistake.  So, the morning before the service that afternoon, I threw in the towel and asked one of our staff members to do the service and then texted my friend and called the funeral home.  I hated it but it was the right thing to do.

Suddenly, I was very grateful for the work I had done earlier that week.  I was able to give my work to our worship leader who would be filling in.  Now because of the short notice it was still a deal for him to step in, but the preparation and his willingness saved the day.  The bottom line was the service went great and the family was blessed.  The only problem was I felt like I had failed.  I know, I didn’t, but sometimes feeling trumps facts.  Know what I mean?

Well, I called the family later and told them I was so sorry and that I wished I could have been there for them.  They were very kind and understanding. After the phone call something came to my mind that changed my feelings of failure.  From nowhere, or maybe from God, came the words, “Dewayne, you weren’t there but your words were, and they made the difference.”  Instantly, I got it, I understood.  God’s plan for me this time was to be a part in a different yet important way.  God knew the flu was coming and He encouraged me to prepare and because of that preparation, the family was ministered too, and He got the glory.

“Even though I wasn’t there, my words, were.”  What a powerful thought.  It reminded me of how blessed we are to have the Word of God in our lives.  In so many parts of the world, people don’t have access to a copy of what we call the Bible.  In some places in the world, people treasure mere fragments of His Book.  Here in America, and other parts of the world, we can own multiple copies of this blessed Book.  No other book brings the comfort of His printed Word.  It is a confident assurance no matter what we face.  There is a reason for that.  You see, the Bible is God’s revelation of Himself to us. It is unlike any other book.

As a matter of fact, speaking of Jesus, the Bible says, “In the beginning the Word already existed. The Word was with God, and the Word was God. He existed in the beginning with God.” Who is this “He?”  We find the answer a few verses later.  It says, “So the Word became human and made His home among us. He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness. And we have seen His glory, the glory of the Father’s one and only Son.” All that makes the Bible even more amazing.  When we read the Book, we are experiencing, we are walking, hand in hand, with God.  Wow.  Even though God is not physically here…His Word is and that makes the difference.

If you have never checked out the Bible, Christmas is a great time to start.  Discover it for yourself. Get a copy or get online and discover the power and presence of the Word of God.  It is filled with peace, comfort and promises.  And throughout all its pages you will find that special promise that means so much, “I’ve got this.” Bro. Dewayne 

Posted in Family, friends, Grace, life, loving others, prayer, Scripture, Southern born, sovereignty of God, thankful

Real Love, Real Blessed

This is real love—not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.” 1 John 4:10

It was hotter than a firecracker. Today, forty-seven years ago, I became the luckiest guy in the world.  Oh, I know, Joe DiMaggio thought he was but that is because he didn’t marry Judy.  You see, on June 26, 1976, this Florida cracker married one fine Georgia peach—Judy Dawn Allen thus ensuring my standing as the luckiest guy in the world. Looking back over the past four and a half decades, plus two years, I am amazed just how good God has been.

I met Judy at church one Wednesday night.  I was stationed at the nearby Air Force base.  She was only sixteen and I was twenty.  It had to be a miracle that her parents even let me near her but then…I did meet her at church. Smile. I walked into church that Wednesday night, saw her standing in a group of about five or six young ladies, and well, that was that.  I got her phone number from a friend who attended that same church, gave her a call, asked her out on a date and she said yes.  That yes led to another yes on April 1, 1975, when she agreed to marry me and that yes led to an “I Do” on June 26, 1976. How about that?

Recently, someone at church wished me a happy anniversary and I told them the secret to being married for 47 years.  All you have to do is marry someone like my wife Judy.  She loves God and Jesus, loves her family, loves people but most of all—she loves me. I never could figure that part out.  I am certain I am not worthy of her love but still she scoops it out in large quantities. She loves me when I get it right and when I don’t.  She loves me when it is hard and loves me when it is easier.  Amazing.

As amazing as all that is—the way God loves me is even bigger and better. He too lavishes His love out on me, and He too loves me regardless of my performance. On my best day, He loves me and on my worst day, He loves me still and a zillion years from today He will still be loving me.  His word says, “This is real love—not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.” Now that is what I call love.  That is what I call amazing.

Looking back, hot or not, I’m grateful for that summer day in South Georgia when an amazing God allowed me to marry an amazing young lady.  Over forty-seven years, walking together, and all but five of them as a pastor’s wife, well, I’ll forever be indebted to the One who gave her to me and to her for saying yes.  He took care of me then and He will take care of me for all the tomorrows yet to come. As always,, “He’s got this.”  Bro. Dewayne