“Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also praises her. Many women have done noble deeds, but you surpass them all! Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the LORD will be praised.” Proverbs 31:28-30
It’s not always easy. So imagine you are Shakespeare and you are drawn to write a romantic scene for the ages. In your mind you see a beautiful, young maid standing on a balcony and below a charming prince. Both are madly in love with the other but what do you say, what do you write? You settle on, “Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?” Well, it probably wouldn’t have been my first choice, but hey, it surely was a crowd favorite. Ok, let’s try again.
This time you are a lawyer and a writer. It is 1814 and you are watching as the British bombard Fort McHenry in Baltimore during the War of 1812. The outcome of battle seems in doubt. You wonder if the young nation will survive the nigh? As dawn begins to light the sky, He was inspired after seeing the American flag still flying over the fort. His poem describing the battle and the American victory was published within a week with the suggested tune of the popular song “To Anacreon in Heaven”. The song with Key’s lyrics became known as “The Star-Spangled Banner” and slowly gained in popularity as an unofficial anthem. It finally achieved official status as the national anthem more than a century later in 1931. But finding the right words just couldn’t have been easy.
Now imagine you are celebrating 50 years, five decades, of marriage and you find yourself trying, struggling to find the right words to put to paper. You know and every person in your world knows, that when you met and married Judy Dawn Allen you married up–way up. And honestly, we both know that we did absolutely nothing to deserve the blessings and grace that God has poured on our lives. We were two young kids, she younger than me, and by grace we were able to follow Him down a path that cannot be any less than amazing.
We walked together down the path of twelve years in the military. I can tell you two things. They were lean years and yet they were some of the best years. Then God whispered and we jumped from the security of the Air Force into the arms of our Dearest Daddy. Together we served four churches, I pastored and she ministered and all four opportunities were a pastor and wife’s dream. No we weren’t perfect, neither were our congregations but we all loved Jesus and each other and that was more than enough.
Along the way, God blessed us with three incredible daughters and sons-in-law and eight grandchildren. When we get together we are a little wild and a little crazy but that is what makes our tribe a great tribe. In my middle daughter’s home there is a writing that says, “In this house…we are real, we make mistakes, we say I’m sorry, we are silly, we have fun, we give hugs, we give second chances, we forgive, we laugh a lot, we love each other–we are a family.” The truth is that is true most of the time. But even if we get off course…we always find our way back to true north.
I’ve said it before and I will say it again. If you want to stay married for fifty years there are three important things. First, keep breathing. Second, keep God dead center in your marriage universe. Believe what He says, do what He says and love Him like crazy. Finally, be sure and marry an incredible person–like Judy Dawn Allen. Any success I’ve enjoyed in the military and in the pastorate and any success our children have enjoyed so far in life can be directly traced back to my wife and their mother.
Judy–thank you for sharing these decades with me. These words, straight from the depths of my soul, still fall short of describing my deep love for you. Short of God’s grace and mercy and His salvation of my soul, you are His greatest gift to me. And I am sure you are a key partner with Him as you both have assured me over and over again that, “We’ve got this.” I love you. Dewayne
Grits with Grace 